A/N: Here we go. I wanted to join in on all the fun, prepare to be mildly bothered.

Big applause for MeteorOnAMoonlessNight for beta'ing this little ah-thing.

Here goes nothing

Disclaimer: All things Twilight is the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended

Summary: Next year, they are all uninvited.

Happy Anniversary.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Rosalie sneered, the expression deforming her perfect face.

"Well, hello to you too," Bella greeted her, almost missing the last step of the porch as she tried to compose herself.

"You know I don't like to be kept waiting, Bella," Rose continued. She was tapping her high-heeled foot, her baby blue eyes spitting fire.

Rosalie moved aside so Bella could enter the living room. Emmett was busying himself with a bunch of grapes, throwing them into the air and trying to catch them with his mouth and almost choking while doing so.

"There she is," Bella's big, burly brother-in-law greeted her with a huge smile, flashing his adorable dimples. "I thought Edward was going to send out a search party. You know he doesn't like not knowing where you are, right? Tell him if you're going to be late," he said and nodded his head toward the kitchen.

"Bella?" Edward sounded worried. He came out from the kitchen with a pained look on his face.

"Oh please, don't be so dramatic," Rosalie chipped in, flipping her perfectly curled blond tresses over her shoulder.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on here? Why did I have to come by here first? I could've been dressed and ready by the time you came to pick us up," Bella grumbled as she looked over Rosalie and Emmett's living room. All of them looked picture-book-perfect, inhumanly beautiful. It made her feel terribly out of place.

"Bella!"

The sing-song voice of her overly active sister-in-law made Rosalie roll her eyes.

"Alice, hi!" Bella greeted her. Alice was carrying a pile of clothing in her tiny arms, almost making Bella topple over when she flitted to her side.

"You come with me. I need to get you into something a little more Mrs. Cullen and a little less Chief's daughter. It's your anniversary, for crying out loud."

Bella knew better than to disobey the little pixie and followed her up the stairs quietly.

"Great, you're going to make us wait even longer?" Rosalie shouted from the bottom of the stairs, and a trail of muttered profanities followed.

"Bella, seriously. Did you ever hear of concealer?" Alice huffed as she took in the dark circles underneath Bella's eyes. "I know Edward keeps you up at night, but have you ever seen Rose look that tired? I mean, she and Emmett break beds on a regular basis."

Alice's hands moved fast, grabbing tubes and pulling at hair until she seemed satisfied with her work. Finally, she stepped back, looking at Bella with her hands on her hips.

"Good, now go put this on." She held up a strappy black dress that must have had the same amount of fabric as a dust rag.

"Alice, I don't know." Bella shook her head at her small, yet terrifying, sister-in-law and walked out of the bathroom, failing in her effort to pull the dress further down her thighs.

"What? You look bomb, Edward's going to lose it." Alice giggled, picking at a piece of lint on Bella's dress.

"I thought you wanted me to look less tired?" Bella crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Exactly, look less tired. Not be less tired." She wiggled her brows as Bella rolled her eyes at the petite, spiky-haired pixie in front of her.

Alice managed to convince Bella to put on the sky-high heels she'd picked out, whining the entire time about her clumsy limbs.

"Let's go, we don't want to play around with Rose's temper." Alice pushed Bella out of Rose's bedroom and into the hall. Walking downstairs was already a struggle for the chocolate-haired girl, but in those shoes, Bella felt like she surely was going to plummet to her death.

"Hells Bells, you look hot!" Emmet's voice boomed, echoing in the room. Rose slapped him on the chest, already in her coat. Her patience was clearly wearing thin.

"Let's go, peeps," Alice chimed. She reached out for Jasper, taking his hand in her small one. Jasper looked at Bella and smiled apologetically; he knew Alice could be overpowering at times.

Bella looked into Edward's eyes, his expression making him look like he was in agony. He snaked an arm around Bella's waist, pulling her into him and against his raging erection. That dress made him lose almost every inhibition he had left.

"I'm going to tear that off you later," he growled into her ear. Bella blushed furiously at Edward's words and cursed herself for the effects he had on her body. She could literally fall into a puddle of goo at his feet, helpless against his dazzling charm.

They all got into the limo one by one, and after Bella hit her head on the roof of the car, she sank down in the leather seat next to her graceful husband.

"Jasper, what's wrong? You look like someone just killed your puppy," Emmett said, throwing an arm around Rosalie's shoulders and kissing her on the top of her head.

"Doesn't he always look like that?" Edward laughed.

Jasper arched his brow, glancing at his brothers with an irritated look on his face.

"I have Alice all up in my business about my outfit, I'll have to watch Emmett and Rose eye-fuck all night, witness your tortured-soul act, and you're all draggin' me out for drinkin' and pop music," he said, his southern drawl ever-present.

"We can't all listen to the underground emo soundtracks you play every day, bro." Emmett laughed loudly and Bella swore the limousine vibrated because of it.

"Everyone, shut up!" Alice shouted and clapped her hands together. She was on a mission to make everyone get along and have a good time.

"Oh, Ed's not putting up an act, Jasper," Rosalie spat. "It's him trying to control himself and not defile Bella in public." After she joined Emmett with the lame jokes, she kissed him passionately.

Bella felt so uncomfortable she wanted to disappear. Edward's hand on her thigh calmed her down, but on the inside she wanted nothing more than to feel those skillful hands elsewhere.

When they arrived at the club, Bella followed the girls to the table, sitting down as fast as she could so Alice wouldn't make her go out on the dance floor. Her feet were already killing her, and the lack of dancer's genes told her it would be safer if she stayed put.

"Oh, waiter," Alice sang as they were all settled in, ordering shots to start off the evening of celebration. "To Edward and Bella." Alice raised her glass and Rosalie snorted.

"What now?" Alice sighed and eyed Rosalie angrily.

"A celebration for what? Staying married for a year?"

Bella watched Rosalie, her frown marring her perfectly symmetrical face.

"Rose, please," Edward tried to soothe her.

"Emmett and I have been together for ages, where's our party?" she shouted and dramatically threw her arms into the air.

Emmett hugged Rose, kissing her cheek.

"Oh darlin', don't be so bitter," Jasper joined in, earning wide-eyed looks from the others for mingling in the discussion. He usually kept quiet, especially if Alice was involved.

"Back off," Rosalie snapped at him, downing her shot and turning to look at Emmett.

"Get a fucking clue, you moron! Maybe I want to get married and start a fucking family," she said to him. His eyes were as big as saucers.

"Then we'll fucking get married, alright?" Emmet shouted back at her and banged the table so loud the table next to theirs fell silent. They were probably eavesdropping at the evolving drama.

"That's not even remotely romantic! What's wrong with you?" She shook her head and crossed one of her endlessly long legs over the other.

Alice tried to make peace. "Let's not fight right now."

"Easy for you to say. You didn't even date Jasper for a year before he shoved that ring around your finger." Rosalie huffed and turned her head away from Alice.

Jasper exchanged looks with Edward, who could barely contain his laughter. The ever-present bitching from Rosalie was a given at any social event, and Emmett was too stupid to do anything about it.

"You want a rock on your finger? I'll fucking give you one, okay?" Emmett rose from the table, almost knocking over the drinks, and ran off.

"Emmett, don't you dare walk away from me." Rosalie followed him through the crowd, leaving the others dazed.

"Well, happy anniversary to us," Edward exclaimed, his vibrant green eyes boring through Bella's as she bit her lip.

"Come on, love, let's go dancin'," Jasper said, taking Alice's hand and twirling her around like they were a real-life Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

"I already want to get out of here." Bella sighed as she fiddled with the hem of her dress.

"I like where this is going," Edward said and kissed her deeply, his tongue stroking Bella's. When they entwined, their tongues battled for dominance until Bella gave in, losing herself in her husband's kiss. She was going to explode, combust out of love and lust for this earth-shatteringly beautiful man.

Edward's hand ran up her thigh underneath the table and he felt Bella flinch as his fingers brushed the moist fabric of her white lacy panties.

"You're always so wet and ready for me, Mrs. Cullen," he moaned into her ear.

He took a frazzled Bella by the hand, leading her away from the crowd and into the back toward the alley exit.

"Right here?" Bella whispered to Edward, the blush on her cheeks making her feel feverish. He led her around the corner, eyes on hers as if he was a lion trying to catch his prey.

Edward didn't answer as he pushed Bella against the side of the building, making her aware of the big erection in his now too-tight slacks.

"Seems like I'm not the only one who's ready," Bella noted as she let her hand wander along his thick length through the fabric of his pants.

Edward groaned loudly and pushed his hips into Bella's, bunching her dress up around her waist and grabbing hold of her legs to hook them around his back. The heat that radiated from her lace-clad happy place got him even harder, aching for release.

"Fuck these panties," he gritted through his teeth as his hands cupped her throbbing sex before shredding the fabric that separated them to pieces. Bella felt like she was on fire, and she knew it wouldn't be long before her orgasm shattered through her.

The noise of Edward unzipping the fly of his pants made her anxious. She needed to feel him inside of her, feel all of his enormous cock fill her up entirely.

"Just put it in already, you're killing me," she whined dramatically, arching her back so he'd be closer to her.

"Patience, Bella." He kissed her, sucking at the over-sensitive flesh of her neck and palming her breasts roughly.

"Edward, come on," she went on and yanked on a fistful of his shiny bronze hair.

Edward braced himself against the wall as he supported both of their weight, sliding his cock into her warm and moist vagina. They both moaned loudly, the feeling of her tight little hole around his love stick almost making them come undone right then and there. Edward started moving his hips in a hard rhythm.

"You're so fucking tight, my cock loves being inside you," he grunted as he kept his movements fast and steady. Bella moaned, her tiny hands grasping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

"Oh, Edward, yes," she hissed as the fire from the pit of her stomach started to blaze through her slowly.

"You're mine, Bella," Edward growled as he brought one hand down to her hip and tightened his grip on her.

"Edward," she said with a ragged breath. "So close."

His wife's body molded to his perfectly, the soft flesh of her bosom crashing into his hard, muscular, marble-carved chest as Edward continued to pound her against the wall.

"Say it," he grunted repeatedly, putting his face in the crook of her neck. Bella felt her blood rush through her rapidly, passion overtaking her vastly.

"I'm yours, Edward. Forever yours."

"Fuck, Bella, I'm not going to last long like this. I need you to come for me, baby." His voice was strained as he held back his cum.

"Oh God," she breathed, her teeth capturing the flesh of her full lower lip, almost puncturing the delicate skin.

"Bella, come for me, baby. I need you to come for me, now," he demanded. Edward's words seemed to be her undoing. The fire inside overtook her, her walls convulsing around her husband's majestic length. She almost screamed out loud when the orgasm ripped through her, leaving her body feeling weak and jelly-like, as if all her bones had disappeared.

"That's it," Edward moaned and sped up his actions, his pelvis bucking into her harder and faster. "You. Are. Mine," he exclaimed as he felt his balls tighten, his shaft convulsing as the hot spurt of semen left his body.

"Happy anniversary." Edward kissed Bella's forehead as he brought her back to her feet, steadying her against the wall.

"Happy anniversary," she sighed.