At first she wasn't sure if it was the soft murmur of sound that woke her or the unaccustomed warmth.
She lay awake, eyes still closed, body tense and ready to spring up, casting her senses out to identify the sound. Outside her hut the wind howled, the rain pattered down, and the porgs fluttered, squawking, from one rock to another when the occasional Caretaker shuffled past. She had gotten used to those sounds. Her first night on this planet she had memorized them all in the hours when she couldn't sleep. She hadn't had much luck sleeping anywhere that wasn't Jakku. Not until exhaustion got a chance to catch up with her.
It finally had on Ahch-to. After days of following Luke around, trying to convince him to leave this island and go help the rebels, begging him to teach her what she needed to do, Rey was emotionally drained. Each day she trained for hours with her staff and with the lightsaber until she was physically exhausted as well. So even though the quiet noises were different than what she had become used to here, she didn't think those had disturbed her.
It was definitely the heat.
The heat was so near, and soft. Oddly soft given her bed was made of stone like the rest of the hut. And the warmth moved, it breathed. Rey's eyes flew open as she realized the warmth was a person, one pressed right up against her side. The first thing she saw in the dimness was him, so close she gasped. Her first instinct was to back away quickly, even if it meant she fell off the bunk in a tangle of limbs.
But the softness of his face checked her. The face she had seen only in expressions of rage or contempt or simple stony impassiveness was gentled in sleep. His lips were slightly parted, eyes closed, and his brow unfurrowed. His hair fell over his forehead , making him look younger and less tormented.
Rey knew what it was like to struggle; she had struggled every day of her life on Jakku. She wondered if Ben had known a single moment's peace since he'd turned to the Dark Side. Rey's life wasn't exactly a bastion of perfect contentment, but she'd had glimpses of those moments that made the struggle worth it. Helping BB8, making friends with Finn, flying the Falcon with Chewie. Even the simple pleasure of feeling the rain on her skin: she had never expected to experience such a thing, growing up on a desert planet as she had.
Rey experienced those brief moments of joy, but she doubted Ben could say the same. What happiness could there be in the First Order for him? The satisfaction of completing a mission ordered by Snoke? Some cruel pleasure in using the Force to torture people? Or subjugating another planet by killing and enslaving its population?
If she could hurt him through this strange bond of theirs, perhaps she might have taken a second to wonder if she should kill him then. End him in his sleep before he could end any more lives for the Dark Side. But her blaster shot had passed through him harmlessly before, there was no point in trying it again even if she could bring herself to do it.
He wasn't really asleep beside her on a cold, hard bunk on Ahch-To. He was galaxies away on his ship. The Force had opened the connection between them again but instead of staring her down and trying to convince her to join him, he was lying by her side asleep. A restless sleep, she observed. His eyelids twitched and fluttered. His hand was curled on its side near his head; it jerked, clenching into a fist before loosening again.
Rey resolved to get up, to move away from the cot and sit on the other side of the small fire. Then she would speak, say his name and wake him, ask him why the Force would connect them when they were both unconscious. When she shifted to rise, the low sound came again - a mumble from Ben, a jumble of words she couldn't make out. His body had tensed in his sleep and his dreams had clearly turned into nightmares. Ben's mumbling grew in volume, still incoherent until his cry of "Master, no!" was almost loud enough to be heard over the storm.
Rey had to calm the man or Luke would be coming to investigate. She didn't want Skywalker distracted when she had yet to convince him to help. Shushing him gently, her hands fluttered over him a moment undecided before brushing the hair back from his face. She was amazed by how warm he felt considering she wasn't even really touching it. But whatever distance existed between them, she still felt his warmth, felt his skin beneath her fingertips, felt his heartbeat where her body was pressed against his. Rey's hand was poised to trace the shape of his eyebrows when that last registered in her mind.
Without realizing it, she had leaned closer while softly whispering "shhh"s to him. Now they were intimately close, closer than she had ever been to anyone outside of a friendly hug. And she had received few enough of those. Noticing the proximity, she blushed and snatched her hand back, determined to put space between them.
But Ben, not entirely settled, reached out and caught her hand before she could stand. Rey tensed, sure she had woken him and not looking forward to what he would have to say this time. Ben didn't speak though, he only laid her hand on his chest and linked their fingers. He had barely moved and Rey wasn't sure how conscious he was but his grip on her hand seemed to calm him at last. He melted against her and his agitated sleeptalking quickly turned into deep, steady breaths. Finally she was convinced she wouldn't disturb him and withdrew her hand from his.
Only to freeze againwhen Ben shifted and reached out for her. She cursed, sure she'd fallen for a ruse. Whatever she might have expected Ben to do on awakening though, it surely wasn't this.
Wrapping an arm blindly around Rey, Ben drew her close until she pressed against his side again. He tucked her head against his shoulder, what sounded suspiciously like a happy sigh escaping him when her cheek lay on his chest. Unused to sharing a bed, let alone a cuddle, with anyone, Rey was at a loss. She had instinctively thrown an arm out to brace herself when he'd pulled her in. Now she found herself pillowed on his chest with an arm slung over his waist. When she tried to withdraw it, his arms wrapped around her wouldn't let her move away.
Rey sighed, frustrated and flustered and embarrassed and confused by this encounter. And it didn't help that she really didn't know if he was awake or not. A man who lived with darkness and violence during the day must need some outlet of tenderness and light in the night. There had to be a balance. So she could believe that this was Ben in his natural state, not Kylo Ren. He may be reaching out for the Light without even realizing it. Or he may be conscious and playing some kind of game with her, making her uncomfortable and trying to mess with her head. If that was the case she wasn't about to just lie there and let him.
"Ben," she said, intent on rousing him if he was feigning. It was meant to be firm, commanding, but it came out a bit breathy. More of a question than a command.
His arms around her tightened for a brief moment before relaxing again.
"Ben." She shifted her hand to his chest, ready to shake him, or hit him if he was toying with her.
"Mmm." He stirred. There, she was sure she had gotten his attention now.
She was less sure a moment later when he lowered his head and she felt his nose brush against her hair.
"Rey." His sleepy murmur was quiet but tender.
Lightyears away, it was the scent of her that finally drew Kylo Ren back to waking. It was a little different than he remembered from when he'd captured her that first time. Leaning over her in the interrogation chair, her scent had filled his senses. At the time it was an annoyance. She seemed like nothing but a dirty little orphan until he'd sensed the strength within her. Drew in the aura of the Force around he just as he had inhaled the scent of her person. Which a primal part of him recognized now, even asleep, even with her fragrance altered by the smell of the rain where she was. Scent was the sense with the strongest ties to memory, and he remembered her.
His eyes flew open and he saw the darkness not of his quarters on the ship but of a domed stoned roof arching above him. Shadows danced across it from flickering firelight.
He knew he was with Rey.
Ben couldn't school his reaction fast enough. Rey felt him wake, felt him tense suddenly at the unexpected surroundings, heard the sharp intake of breath in surprise. He hadn't been feigning sleep after all. He wasn't a good enough liar to fake such a convincing awakening. Now that she knew he was here, she pulled away, slipping out of his arms and going to squat by the fire that needed feeding. She avoided his bewildered gaze as she tossed more wood onto it.
"Rey?" he said, voice quiet but rough with sleep. He blinked a few times as the light of the fire flared brighter.
He didn't understand why he was here, how the Force had made the connection without two conscious minds to work with. He really didn't understand why he had woken up with his sworn enemy pressed against him. Why she had allowed him to hold her, and why he wished she was back in his arms.
"Rey." Ben repeated. He needed her to look at him, to help him understand what they were to each other now.
She didn't look up for a long moment, staring into the fire. With the fog of sleep still upon him he couldn't use their bond to read her emotions. But when she looked up it was with such an expression of confusion and anguish that he yearned for her. In a way that had nothing to do with the prey he had pursued, the trophy of a successful hunt, the companionship of another Force user. He wanted to soothe her. Ben found himself reaching out for her, to draw her back down beside him. So he could hold her again and regain the tiny sliver of peace he had felt begun to fade the moment she slipped away from him. And if his closeness was half the balm hers had been, maybe he could ease her pain as well.
But Ben's fingers passed through Rey's wrist which faded to invisibility. The Force bond was severed and Ben's hand clenched tight in a fist at the loss of it. Sitting up in his bed, Kylo looked around the darkened room. His personal quarters were austere, bulkheads black and grey; no warm firelight, no sympathetic eyes shining out of a beautiful face. No warm body pressed against his, no small delicate hand on his chest, resting directly over his heart. The cold metal walls seemed to echo with the emptiness he felt.
After a moment he wasn't sure if it had really happened, or if it had just been a dream.
