Hey there! Long time no see! :D

so this was originally going to be part of a slightly larger story placed in the Momiji audition arc but I just gave up on building the setting and went to the part of the story I actually wanted to do. Slightly larger, like two more chapters. This was the part that mattered and that's all I've written. Not quite what you were probably hoping for, but... *shrug* I just love putting people through pain! XD enjoy!

Accidental Confessions

Kyoko watched anxiously as Tsuruga-san fumbled to unlock his apartment door. Normally he was top of his game, even when he wasn't feeling well. But this time… this time he couldn't hide his emotions. This time he just couldn't act his way out of it.

Tsuruga-san nearly tripped over the entryway of his apartment, almost ignoring the spot to take off his shoes. Kyoko caught the back of his jacket in time to stop his fall, but it didn't bring him back to himself. "Sorry," he murmured, then clumsily took off his shoes and socks.

His guest watched his fumbling for a moment before getting the door and changing out her shoes for slippers. She didn't say a single word more until he was clear of the entryway and headed somewhere a little better than the floor. "Would you like me to make some tea? Or coffee? Have you eaten dinner?"

"I'm fine," he murmured, still not looking at her, or anything really. The unfocused gaze in his eyes unnerved her, but given the circumstances, Kyoko could understand why he was like this, at least a little.

"Stay with him tonight." Those were the president's words. The two of them stood at the end of the hospital hallway, looking towards the actor, sitting and staring at his clenched hands. His eyes were very similar to now, but there was a great deal more fear and emotion in his body then. The president watched him, worry in every wrinkle. "I'm not sure what he'll do if he's alone."

Kyoko watched her sempai now, slowly going to the couch with a slight sway in each step. Her heart ached for him, wanting to help him feel better, but she didn't know what to do. Why was he in this state when they already had good news? Tsuruga-san dropped into the cushions, first leaning back into them, staring at the ceiling, then leaning forward, his elbows on his knees as his hands kept his chin up. His eyes were so far away and sad, she really didn't know how to stop her aching heart.

Fidgeting herself, Kyoko started towards the kitchen anyway. When in doubt, cook. "I'll make something light to eat. Yashiro-san would be very upset if you didn't eat on his -"

She stopped herself before she could step on a landmine. Cautiously she looked over to Tsuruga-san, somewhat hoping for a change, but there was none. None at all. Taking a new breath, Kyoko hid herself away in her sanctuary for a few minutes so she could try to come up with a strategy to help her beloved sempai.

Twenty minutes later, all she had was a quick soup and toast with coffee heating up. No solutions, just a quick dinner. Sighing to herself slightly, Kyoko placed a bowl and plate before Tsuruga-san, hoping to get him to eat something. Anything to change his current behavior. "Tsuruga-san, please eat this. You need your strength for tomorrow."

He didn't respond, his eyes distantly looking at some spot on the coffee table before him. Kyoko suppressed a sigh before digging into her own soup and toast. She wasn't about to let herself starve, no matter the circumstances.

Halfway through her meal, she could feel eyes on her. Tsuruga-san hadn't moved an inch towards his food, but somehow his eyes became fixated on her. Kyoko tried to ignore it and eat normally, but even she could feel the pressure coming off of him. She opened her mouth to ask him to eat again – and stop staring at her – when he finally did something different.

"My best friend died in a hit-and-run in front of me."

Kyoko stopped eating and looked up to her sempai, stunned at the statement. Tsuruga-san's gaze fell back to the table between them, more focused than before but still far away, in a memory. He continued his tale. "I was fifteen. He was a few years older than me, engaged and starting a rather good life of his own. Yet he risked his life for me. A stupid screwed up kid. I got into a pointless fight and he tried to stop me. I didn't listen."

His face contorted in pain and grief, becoming more tormented with each word uttered. "In my madness, I chased after the group's leader, and Rick chased after me. We ran across the street and..."

He closed his eyes briefly, pained more than he could bear. "I heard the crash. Saw his body fly then skid. Tina screamed and ran to him while I froze in place.

"He died on the scene and I did nothing to help him."

Silence stood over the room as the weight of his words sunk into Kyoko's mind and heart. Tears started to form in her eyes, but she didn't know who she was crying for. "Why… why are you telling me this?"

Tsuruga-san kept still a moment longer before dropping his hands and letting his head hang. "You deserve to know. You've seen me freeze up so many times, and stayed with me. You should know why I freeze up like this. Why Yashiro's accident affected me this much."

"He's going to be fine," Kyoko reassured him. "A few ribs and a fractured arm is sure to heal in no time! His car on the other hand..."

When he didn't respond to that, she stopped with words and watched him silently. This event… the death of his best friend scarred him deeply. So deeply, any time he experienced something similar, he froze up. The near accident on the Dark Moon set, Cain fighting those thugs nearly into the ground, the fight on the Tragic Marker set, and now Yashiro-san's accident, they all took their tolls on him. He just couldn't handle anything similar to losing his friend again.

Yashiro-san was his closest male friend right then, and getting into a three car pile up did not help anyone in the slightest. He told Tsuruga-san to drive Kyoko to the next location and they followed after him. They ended up being a light behind him and heard the crash loud and clear as it happened. Tsuruga-san parked the car and ran to the spot immediately, Kyoko chasing after him, just as the authorities got there. They spotted Yashiro-san's car immediately in the mess and tried to get to it to help, but the crowd was so thick they couldn't get much of anywhere.

That was probably when he started acting strangely. Kyoko suggested they follow after the ambulance and took his hand to get him moving again. Tsuruga-san shook slightly in her grip, constantly looking back to try and see Yashiro-san as their feet returned to the car. He could barely drive straight when they finally made it to the car, his face stiff and barely holding back his fear and worry the entire time. Kyoko knew he was on the verge of breaking and the only reason he hadn't already was because they didn't know how Yashiro-san was.

The second they parked, Tsuruga-san was out of the car and headed towards the main desk. People stared at the celebrity on the edge of sanity as he begged the receptionist for any information on his manager. "Please. I just need to know if he's going to be okay."

"I… I'm sorry sir," the nurse stammered, her face flush. "Company policy states we can't release that information to anyone but family and significant other. Unless the two of you are going out -"

"I told you I'm fine!"

Just hearing that voice shouting out stopped all their thoughts of the worse. They turned to see Yashiro-san fighting off a doctor trying to put him on a gournie. He looked banged up but not the worse for wear. "I don't need to be examIINNEEDD!"

He screeched at the end when an orderly poked him in the ribs. His increasingly bad temper snapped at the man. "What was that for?!"

"He's okay..." Kyoko could barely hear the sigh of relief escaping Tsuruga-san's lips, getting her to look up to him. Tears leaked slowly down his face as the fear went away, watching how lively his manager was. "He's going to be okay."

There were likely some excited gossiping and murmurs around those watching, but Kyoko knew Tsuruga-san and Yashiro-san were just friends, and Tsuruga-san did not take friendships lightly. They followed the manager for a while, with Kyoko slipping out for a minute to call the president over and apologizing for her lateness to her other job. The president took care of the details while Tsuruga-san somehow convinced Yashiro-san to stay the night in the hospital for observation. He was going to be fine, but despite knowing all of this, Tsuruga-san remained dazed and unable to fully recover from the shock.

"Still doesn't make the fear go away." Tsuruga-san gripped his hands tightly before him, not looking up. His shoulders started to shake, likely mentally reliving each trauma and near miss in his life. "If Yashiro had died… If you were in the car with him… I don't think I could..."

His voice died on him, the rest of him trembling at the mere possibility. Kyoko's heart nearly tore in two for his sake, commanding her body to do one thing and one thing only. She quickly got to her feet and ran to his side, wrapping her arms around him as best she could. She could hear his breathing stop for a moment, getting her to hold him a little tighter. "It's going to be alright Tsuruga-san. Yashiro-san is alive and well. And I'm right here. I'll always be right here for you, Tsuruga-san. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

She could feel his tremors stop and his shoulders slowly relax, her words finally getting through to him. He shifted a bit in her grip, letting it loosen so he could pull away. Strong hands instead enveloped her body, drawing her against his large chest so tightly she could hardly breathe. Kyoko nearly objected when she felt his tears land on her shoulder. Her voice softened as her chest throbbed. "Tsuru-"

"Please. Just for a bit." His voice shook in a different way than before, holding onto her for dear life. "Stay with me until I can smile again. Please."

She doubted all his puppy eyed begging could do as good a job keeping her there. Unable to resist, Kyoko tightened her grip and rested herself against him, nodding slightly in consent. His muscles too started to relax as he let out every tear he was holding in for so long. Part of her wanted to feel ashamed in that moment; if Tsuruga-san didn't smile, they could stay together like this forever.

'You know, if you think about it,' Kyoko realized in a daze the following morning, 'that was a bit like a … Love confession...'

The thought hit her like a ton of bricks, sending her nearly into a panic attack. As if waking up in her forbidden love's arms wasn't enough to set her on edge, now she realized how dangerously close she got to exposing her most precious secret to he who should never know it. The stress of the day before must have finally taken it's toll on them last night and they fell asleep in each others' arms. How they ended up in Tsuruga-san's bed confused her but she was glad he felt better when they woke up.

'We spent the night together,' she also realized. 'In the same bed. With no roles to explain it. After I pretty much confessed.'

A cloud of doom and despair overtook her person as she crumbled onto the kitchen floor. 'I am a shameful human being who doesn't deserve to even call myself his kohai and should be thrown into the fiery abyss for my shameless actions! How could I take advantage of Tsuruga-san's emotional state and act like that?! I just want to curl up in a hole and die!'

"Why are you on the floor like that?"

At his voice, Kyoko jerked up, trying to suppress her rapid blush. Up until a few minutes ago, he was in the shower and getting ready for the day. How long was he standing there? Mostly dressed and his hair a little damp? "Tsu… Tsuruga-san..."

He smiled softly, amused by something, then came to her side offering a hand. "You won't be able to make anything if you stay on the ground, Mogami-san."

Hesitantly, she took it and let herself be helped to her feet. Kyoko still didn't look him in the eye though, opting to look elsewhere in embarrassment. "I was… just… overthinking."

"Hm. Figured as much." His obvious amusement at her predicament angered her enough to stop her embarrassment, but he didn't let go of her hand. "You really should try and fix that habit before the press hear about it. They could turn it into a scandal if you aren't careful."

"I'll keep that in mind, Tsuruga-san." A touch of anger in her voice still didn't get him to let go of her. "Is there something else you want?"

"I wanted to thank you for staying with me last night." That soft, gentle smile of his, the one saying he only thought of her and her opinion, the one she melted to as Setsu several months ago, glowed on his face ever so slightly. It wasn't bright like several others she received, but so meek and kind, she couldn't help but return it. This was the smile she loved most. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Tsuruga-san..." She looked down, trying to regain her composure. "You think too much of me."

"Maybe," he admitted, "but I don't think so. Do you need any help with breakfast? I'm not completely useless in the kitchen."

Finally, he let go of her hand so she could work, and already Kyoko missed his warmth. Despite knowing how inappropriate they were last night, she didn't hate waking up next to him or have trouble sleeping this time. She wanted more. She wanted to be the one he loved, able to return her feelings. But logic and reason told her she never would be. She had to be just as they were right then and nothing more.

Turning away, she went back to the soup she was working on before she realized what happened last night. "You could stock this place better. I barely have anything to work with!"

"Well, I don't cook much so… wouldn't it go to waste?" Kyoko could see the innocent look he gave whenever it came to cooking and food just hearing his voice. She had to consider that a moment but he went on before she could answer. "Or are you planning on coming over and cooking more often? Because if you are, I'll gladly stock this place up any way you want to."

"Tsuruga-san," she moaned, glaring a little over her shoulder, "don't tease me."

"Who's teasing? I'm really not that great a cook." The small amount of tension from before dissipated as they began bantering over food. Relief at how easy it still was to talk to each other washed over Kyoko. Nothing had really changed and they could stay the same. He didn't realize she confessed her feelings to him and she was safe from having her heart shattered. They could stay the same, as close as this, forever.

END

A/N: Well? how did you like it? I wanted to pull at heartstrings and I want progress dang it! just kiss her Ren! go all for it!

Anywho, I've been working on original works and games and a youtube channel (barely) so I haven't been doing fics much. I may have a few more short ones here soon but that's a big might. Mostly trying to not starve to death and use up what I have in storage. Looking forward to Ultra Sun too. HOpe you liked this one! Laters.