A/N: So here's the second instalment of this little thing I didn't intend to become a story but apparently now is. I was really happy to see the reaction to the first part, so thank you to each and everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited. It means a lot! I hope you enjoy part 2.

-x-

Hold on to me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady

~'Unsteady' X Ambassadors

Her feet touch down on American soil and every cell in her body tingles with excitement.

Tali knows that she's been to America before, she has seen the stamp on her passport with her very own eyes, but she can't remember it. Her aba has always refused to take her, no matter how much she has begged every Christmas and birthday for at least the past eight years. Please, aba. I miss them, she'd say, widening her eyes as far as they would go. It was always in vain, for he would only kiss her on the head and say that her aunts and uncles and her grandfathers would visit in summer as they always did.

When she got older, in some part of her mind, she knew he was just afraid of going back. His entire life had been there until she had come along and flipped it upside down, although until recently she's always thought that the flipping which had occurred had been of the natural 'oh my I'm going to be a parent' variety and not the 'oh holy shit I'm a dad to this nearly two-year-old'.

However, after telling her the true, full story of her beginnings, her aba had surprised her one Thursday with two plane tickets to the US for the Christmas holidays. She had smiles and hugged him and said thank you thank you thank you, a new appreciation of how hard this must be for him to do. And then she had asked, with a sudden thought having popped into her mind:

"You're coming, right?"

He had laughed and ruffled her hair. "Of course I am, kiddo. You and me always."

It's true. It's always been the two of them, apart from the brief period when she was almost six when she thought she might have gotten a stepmother. It hadn't lasted ever since then it's always just been the two of them. They haven't left the UK once ever since they moved here when she was two and a half. They've been to Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales and other places in England on their summer holidays, whilst others in her classes went to places like France or Tenerife or Florida. Tali never minded, though. She enjoyed the holidays with her aba, sightseeing around a country that was theirs.

She feels him behind her as they step off the plane, and his steps are much more hesitant than hers. At the passport desk, assuming because of his accent, the man tells him, "Welcome home" and Tali sees him start, momentarily confused before mumbling a "thank you" and hurrying towards baggage.

She understands that this must be incredibly painful for him. He is an American and no matter where they've gone or who she is, that hasn't changed. He had lived here all of his life until fourteen years ago, and the fact that his home is no longer his home confuses him. She almost wishes that they hadn't come, that he didn't have to be the one to bring her, but the truth is that she doesn't think that she's strong enough to do this without him. And anyway, there isn't anyone else. It's always just been her aba.

After they have their luggage he leads her over to a bench and sits her down, gently taking both his hands in hers.

"Tali," he begins. "Before we go out there, I need to make sure you understand a few things, alright?"

His voice is grave and it sounds ominous and more than anything in this moment she wants to be a child who is blissfully ignorant. But she asked for this, asked for the truth and she's no longer a child. She's sixteen and she can handle this because she's strong. It's in her genes.

"I need you to know that I can't give you anything here, okay?"

Tali just stares at her aba in puzzlement, letting a question mark creep into her features. She stays silent.

"I uh, I just need you not to expect anything, to know that there's nothing here I can give you. Your ima hadn't lived here in two years and she didn't, well she didn't die here so there's no grave to sit at and… I don't want you to be disappointed."

She knew all of this before coming, she did, but somehow hearing it cements it in her mind. The only thing about her ima she will find here is the memory of her in the rest of her family.

"I know," she says and she tries to smile but she can't.

"Just don't want you hurt, Tali," he says, standing up then and dropping a kiss on her hair. She stands up too, and they grab their luggage and make for the arrivals hall where they know their family is waiting.

"Oh my gosh you have gotten so big!" her Auntie Abby shrieks, pulling her in for a hug, then pulling back to look at her, and then pulling her back in again. "I just can't believe how big you are."

"She is sixteen, Abs," her uncle McGee comments, but he's laughing too and pulls her in for a hug that isn't quite as tight. "It's good to see you, Tali."

"It's good to see you too," she replies and stops for a moment at how strange her accent sounds. Nobody appears to have noticed.

"Tony," Abby smiles and pulls him in for a hug. Then McGee joins in and the three of them have a group hug for a moment. Tali feels like a stranger. She supposes that in a way she is.

They break apart. "How's it feel to be back?" McGee asks him.

"Weird," her aba laughs but it sounds forced. Nobody acknowledges it. "Yeah, just… weird." He claps McGee on the shoulder. "So, where's the rest of the gang? Big boss man couldn't come welcome me? Where're the banners and the marching band? You're slipping, guys."

This makes Tali laugh and her aba flashes her a grin. She loves it when she sees her family, loves her relaxed her aba becomes in their presence. They're his family – hers too, of course, but mostly his and when he's with them she knows he feels more complete, more at home.

"There's a big case, Tony. Really big. Gibbs isn't here because he's working on it, that's how big this is."

"Yeah, I don't miss those."

Tali feels a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tight. She suspects it's more to ground him rather than her.

"Well, Tali, where do you wanna go first?"

And here she freezes, because she has never gotten this far in all her years of planning. She's spent all of the time dreaming on actually just getting her aba to bring her here in the first place, that she's never thought about what she would do if she succeeded. She flounders for a moment, caught unawares in the flood of feelings coursing through her.

It's her Auntie Abby that stops her from drowning, by exclaiming that Tali must come and see her totally redecorated lab and the family of Berts that now resides there.

"Yeah," she manages to squeeze out from her suddenly painfully constricted throat. "That sounds good."

Her aba takes her suitcase from her and gives her a reassuring smile even though she knows he must be wary about his return to NCIS. "Off to the lab we go!"

-x-

"Oh God, this place really hasn't changed, has it?"

McGee laughs. "Nope! Pretty much everything's the same as you left it."

Her aba looks so old all of a sudden. "I tell you what, I really do not miss these orange walls." But she can tell from the way his eyes are lit up that he really does.

In the dark recesses of her mind, Tali remembers a bit from her brief visit to NCIS more than fourteen years ago. It's one of those memories that are so fuzzy you can't be sure if it's real or not, and you only remember it because you force yourself to remember it so often. She remembers the bright orange walls and the big windows and the way a woman had held her hand a little tighter when she'd tried to go explore.

The memory had never made any sense before her aba had told her the truth. She simply assumed that she had listened to him talk about NCIS so much that she'd just accepted the memory as hers. That's why she pushed it to the back of her mind, saving her from having to come up with an explanation.

In the lab, her Auntie Abby shows her the new machines and what they can do, plum coloured walls that actually make a lab seem homey if it ever can be, and the family of Berts that are quite adorable. Tali oohs and ahhhs appropriately but her heart isn't quite in it. Science has never been of strong interest to her and she's tired and more than anything just wants to sleep.

"Hey, McGoo, are Gibbs and Bishop and the gang going to be much longer in their secret task force meeting with the director?" Her aba asks. She doesn't miss his glance at her before the question.

"I don't know. Could be a while."

"I think we're gonna go get checked into our hotel then. Jetlag's killing me." And he fakes a yawn.

"Oh, I totally forgot about that! Gosh, Tali, you must be so tired! Let me just send a quick email and then I'll drive you guys, okay?"

"Sounds good, Abs," aba says and slings an arm around Tali's shoulders.

She lets herself be gently nudged from lab to car and falls asleep on the way to the hotel, lulled to sleep by the constant and familiar motion.

-x-

"So you guys aren't staying with Gibbs, huh?"

"Nope."

"He would've taken you guys in, I know it. Think he was pretty hurt that you never asked him. I mean I know he doesn't say much but you can definitely tell."

"The guy's getting on, Abs. Don't think he would've appreciated us gate-crashing his retirement."

"Do not lie to me, Tony. I know when you're lying,"

"I just… didn't think it was a good idea is all."

"A good idea? Gibbs is family."

"I know that, and I appreciate that, but this isn't about me. This is about Tali. I gotta do what's right for her and I just thought that staying in Gibbs' house might be bordering on 'too much'."

"Too much? We are a family."

"She's had a lot sprung on her, and I know that you guys are her family and you aren't a bunch of strangers, but she's seeing things in a new light now. I want to give her time."

"She's stronger than you think, Tony. She's like her both of her parents that way."

"Yeah, I know. But she's only sixteen and I'm not gonna put her up to anything I don't think she's ready to do, alright?"

"Tony…"

"I'm her father and it's my job to protect her."

"You won't lose her."

"Maybe I'm just not willing to risk finding out."

-x-

"Come on, kiddo. Time to wake up."

She pretends to blink awake, although she has been awake for the last ten minutes and heard the majority of the conversation going on in the front seat.

Her aba is holding the door open for her, looking aged five years in the space of the twenty-minute journey. Tali hops out into the mid-afternoon. It's grey and dreary and reminds her so very much of home.

From the front seat, her Auntie Abby tells her to sleep well and she'll see her tomorrow. She waves as she drives away.

Tali feels strange like she's in some kind of dream. It doesn't feel altogether real. Even as she gets to her hotel room, showers, gets into pyjamas and slides into bed. A small part of her wants to go back to the story that was her truth until a few months ago. It was a watered down truth and made her feel incomplete, sure, but it was also safe. The truth now is fine in some places but spiked in other and she isn't sure where it hurts the most, is never sure where it will hurt her next. She wants to be little again. Little and safe and let her aba read stories to her and put her hair in plaits and make her hot chocolate and carry her up to bed when she fell asleep on the couch. She wants to be small, and she wants to believe once more that there is nothing bigger in this world than her aba.

But with the memories of her childhood with her aba, come the faint memories of a childhood with her ima. Soft hands smoothing her hair. A soft voice telling her that it was time to sleep now. Playing in the sea at the beach, sitting high on someone's shoulders as they told her to see if she could try and touch the sky.

And oh God, how she misses her ima in this very moment. How much she wants one of those hugs that are so faint in her memory. She wants to be held by her, have her hair smoothed over her head, and she wants someone to tell her that it's all going to be alright.

Tears are in her eyes and rolling down her face before she even knows it. Sobs bubble from her throat and she tries hard to suppress them so her aba can't hear from the room next door. She can't let him think she can't handle this trip. He'd never bring her here again, and it would likely be a while before he'd let them visit in England.

She loves him more than anything, and after that conversation accidentally overheard, she knows that she must protect him too. She can't allow him to know how she truly feels. It's not that this is too much, it's just that it isn't what she expected it would feel like. Visiting NCIS, even just the lab, knowing that she had been where her ima had once been, albeit sixteen years ago, just felt different to how she expected is all. Next time, she'll be more prepared. She makes that promise to herself. She'll be stronger. She'll be ready.

But just now she neither has to be strong nor ready so she allows herself to sob silently for her ima and her aba and all the things that perhaps should have been.