Warnings: Explicit usage of language and adult themes.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned.

Author's Note: Finally. :) I know I have been gone for a hot couple of months, and I am not going to lie to you, I've definitely had this written for a long time. But you know what happens. Life.

Songs of the Chapter: You're Such A - Hailee Steinfeld and You Are the Reason - Calum Scott & Lena Lewis

Chapter Eighteen - An Angel's Voice for Broken Souls

The water was dripping from his hair and drenching his shirt but he couldn't care less.

He didn't care about anything right now, he wasn't think about anything at all.

All he was thinking about was her.

All he cared about was her.

And she was right here with him.

Giving him the only taste of heaven that he would ever get.

And he didn't think he even deserved it.

But he wanted it.

He wanted it, he wanted it all, he wanted it so bad.

He wanted more.

His hand slammed against the wall of the shower, his other carefully on her back, somehow he was able to remember how hurt she was. He remembered the bruises on her back, her arms, her neck. Her neck. He had almost lost her but she was all he needed. She was still here.

She tasted like heaven, with a hint of strawberries. One of her hands sunk into his hair and the other held tightly onto his now drenched shirt, pulling him closer to her.

He needed more. All he could think about was her, he barely even noticed when the water started to get freezing cold.

When he finally came up for breath, his lungs straining as he panted slightly. She was panting too, staring into her eyes with a smile on her face.

"We are wasting water." She softly commented.

"Mhmm." Poe replied before giving her another quick kiss.

"And it is getting kind of cold."

"Mhmm." Poe replied before closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers for a second. He breathed in deeply, before reaching over to turn off the water. He silently backed up, grabbing a towel and handing it to her, before grabbing a second one to start drying his hair. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and winced. He looked like shit. He shook his head and turned around leaning against the counter to watch her again.

She was attempting to pat dry her hair when she noticed him watching her. "What?" She asked and Poe didn't say anything, just stood up. He gave her a light kiss on the temple and then left the bathroom to try to get them both some dry clothes.

He grabbed her a shirt and boxers and handed it to her without a word before returning to his room to get a clean shirt for himself. He was tired. He was so tired. His brain wasn't even processing anything at this point, it was taking all of his willpower to not just throw Seraphine onto the bed right now like his little brain wanted him too. But he was to tired. He just wanted to collapse into a puddle or something.

It wasn't that he wanted to die. But he wouldn't mind stop existing. Or just to be able to freeze time and sleep. He really need to sleep but every time he closed his eyes his own screams haunted him, keeping him awake for this long. He hadn't had a full nights sleep in years now. Not since before the Resistance. Not since before the Republic. Not for as long as he could even remember.

He slumped into his bed, sitting with his head in his hands, the towel on top of his head collecting what was left of the water on his hair. He didn't even look up when he heard her soft footsteps across his floor. He didn't even look up when she carefully sat down on the bed next to him. He did look up when he felt her cold hand on his arm.

He looked at her and he smiled slightly, reaching his hand up to cradle her cheek.

"Would have thought you would want to be out there celebrating." She commented quietly, her eyes on her hands as she fiddled with the hem on the shirt she was wearing. "You, being the man of the hour, and all that. You should be up there as they sing your glory, plastered out of your mind."

"Don't really feel like celebrating right now." Poe muttered back, not knowing why he was keeping his voice so low. It wasn't like there was a specific reason, he just didn't want to disrupt this moment. He didn't understand it, he couldn't even attempt to explain it. There was just something about it.

Seraphine smiled at him before lightly hugging him. Poe wrapped one arm around her, and closed his eyes while her breathed in the smell of her. "I could use a drink through." Seraphine joked and Poe chuckled patting her back lightly and then he stood up to grab a bottle and two glasses from his shelf.

"It's not exactly nice." He warned, as he poured the brown liquid into the glasses, "But I promise it is better than whatever they are drink out there." He handled Seraphine one of the glasses and she quickly shot it. He smiled at the way her nose crinkled and she shook her head. "And it is stronger than you would think it is." When Seraphine passed back her glass, he repoured it before asking, "But, I thought being hurt and alcohol aren't supposed to mix."

Seraphine snorted, this time sipping the drink. "That's only if you take pain meds. Besides, if it is alcohol poisoning that kills us, then I think that would be a pretty interesting turn of events, wouldn't you?" Poe simply smiled, taking a sip of his own drink and placing the bottle on the bedside table and settling against his headboard. He finished off what was left in his glass and then stared at the empty glass for a long minute watching the way the glass was catching the dim lights. He reached over to refill his glass and then slumped into the headboard, ignoring the way that his head hit it. He glanced over at Seraphine who was simply watching him, and after taking another sip not breaking eye contact, he gestured for her to come over to him.

Pretty quickly Seraphine had settled with her head against his chest, Poe fiddling with strands of her still damp slightly tangled hair, twisting them within his fingers. Right now it was so peaceful. So calm. His heart and his soul were happy, even if he knew that it would only last for a little. Even if he knew it wouldn't be that long before shit hit the fan again and she would probably be ripped away from him. He knew to relish it, relish every second he had her, but he couldn't help thinking about another life.

If they had met in another life. If he hadn't had his job and she hadn't had hers. If she hadn't been born into a shitty situation. If he hadn't let his ego get him into this all. If their universe hadn't been so obsessed with war. If they had lived another life.

If they had lived another life than maybe they would be able to be happy. Truly happy. Maybe they would have been able to have a normal life. Have kids. Not have the trauma and the hatred and the pain. If they had another life maybe they would be happy. But if they had lived another life maybe they never would have met. Maybe she would never have even given him a time of day. If they had lived another life maybe she wouldn't be in his arms in this moment.

And he would take this moment over anything else. Because this moment made it all worth it. This moment made everything he had ever been through worth it. And he would do it all again just to experience it, even for a second. Even for a second to be able to hold her in his arms.

Even if he knew how short it would be.

The First Order was probably coming. They would probably be here any moment, any day, any second. He rarely ever had a second to breathe, because he knew how easy it was for it all to be ripped away.

He had lost so many men.

He had lost so many friends.

His mind started to run over all of those he had just lost.

Ah shit. Ello. They fucking lost Ello Astry. And Ven, Pallarius Ven. And Sara Bel-Sun. Good pilots, good soldiers. They had given it all they had and they lost their lives for it. They lost everything so that the rest of us could keep on fighting. They should be out there. They should be out there celebrating this victory. And they wasn't the only ones. He had lost so many friends.

L'ulo L'ampar. He died to protect innocents. Trying to stop bastards who were shooting down defenseless escape pods. What kind of monster goes after escape pods? L'ampar didn't deserve to die. None of them did.

Oddy Muva. Most loyal man one would ever meet. Everything he had ever done was for his wife, he fought so hard for her. He died for her. Poe kept on thinking he should have gone with him, he should have realized that was going on. He should have known. But he had been a fool and it had cost Muva's life.

Muran. One of the best goddamn men he had ever met. From back in his Republic days, Muran always kept his head up and was so loyal. The First Order killed him, simply because he was in there way. They had no care for life. He swore to join the Resistance, it was all for Muran. For preventing it from it from happening again, from stopping it. He had done an awful job with that. He had lost so many friends.

The Republic. Holy shit. All of the people of the Republic.

They were all dead.

They were all dead.

So many people had died.

They were all dead.

He did this to protect people. He did this to fight so others wouldn't. He did this not expecting to survive. But why the hell was he still alive. What did he do to deserve this, why wasn't he dead? He would have died for any of them, they all deserved to live more than he did. He didn't deserve this.

They didn't deserve this.

He looked up at the ceiling and could feel a single tear roll down his cheek. "Shit." He hissed and Seraphine sat up, watching him. He didn't look at her. And then suddenly he was on the bed. He looked over at her.

She had pushed him.

Patting his head softly she said sweetly, "Hush now. It is time to sleep." And quietly, almost under her breath she began to sing.

And in that moment all he could think of was her. He couldn't think of the pain and the suffering, he couldn't think of how much he hurt. If he tried to remember the demons in his mind, he would get distracted by that voice again.

She really was an Angel.

And the next thing he knew he was asleep.

Author's Note: Oh. You thought something was actually going to happen? Well, you thought wrong! Cause I am evil, MAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No actually tho, Seraphine and Poe have gone through some pretty serious trauma right now, and while Seraphine might joke about it, neither of them are the kind of people who go for things like that in these kind of situations. Poe and Seraphine are more adult and better at handling difficult situations.

I want Poe and Seraphine to develop a healthy relationship as best as possible, even though it is between two not exactly mentally stable people. IT IS COMING THOUGH I PROMISE.

I want to thank you all so much for your patience and putting up with me so much these last couple of months (slash pretty much years at this point because I am TRASH), it really means so much.

Please review they all mean A LOT, lots of love - M

All pilots named within chapter are real characters (most likely from the extended universes) that belong to their proper owners. The stories are true as well, a lot more details can be found on their wiki pages if you want to know.

Sneak Peak into Chapter Nineteen

If he had heard birds outside singing it wouldn't have surprised him, because he couldn't believe it. He had actually slept through the night. What kind of wish craft was this?

He rolled over but his arm was met with an empty bed and cold sheets causing him to sit up suddenly. A sinking part of him was terrified that it had all been just a dream.