Holy shit, it's been a long fucking time, guys. I can go on and on apologizing for how long it's been, but honestly, my life kinda took a turn, and kept taking turns. And then school started kicking my ass. But I am back for another update, and hopefully I can get this story finished in a more timely manner. I'm super sorry for my long absence, but hopefully the content of the chapter will make up for it a little bit.

Hope you all enjoy! xx

CHAPTER NINETEEN

BRAND NEW DAY

And the sun shines down all on the ground

Yeah and the grass is oh so green

And my heart is still and I've got the will

And I don't really feel so mean

Here it comes, here it comes

Here it comes right now

-Van Morrison

EPOV

Wednesday night is a bit of a kick in the teeth. Even though the time with Masen is great, since I'm about to be extremely busy at the hospital, the thought of Bella out on a date with some successful author is bringing my mood down. Logically, I know she deserves to be treated great and truly appreciated by someone, but the fact that that someone isn't me is hard to stomach. Especially after whatever the fuck it was that happened between us during Christmas. I don't know why none of that came up during our discussion of what we're doing with Masen, but it's been eating at me for a while, now.

I push that feeling aside, though, and enjoy my night with my son. I take him out to eat at a local burger place and listen to him gush about the presents he got for Christmas. He thanks me a lot for the music books I got him with a promise of having him over more often to learn how to read and play them. While we're eating I get a call from my brother asking the next time I'm free. I let him know I'm working the next few days, but I'll be free Friday night. He's free and in town, so we arrange to meet at a bar and talk. I don't really know what he wants to talk about or if he just wants to catch up, but I put it in my phone so that I don't forget.

When we get back to Bella's apartment, Mase challenges me to a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. which he wins every time. The kid knows all sorts of moves with each of the characters, and I can never manage to figure out how to really control mine, even though I stick with Yoshi the entire time. Mase brags just enough about kicking my ass before he assures me that it's okay and I'll get better with more practice.

When we're done acting like maniacs over the video games, we sit and watch some TV. Mase watches this show on Nickelodeon that isn't absolute shit, and I actually laugh a few times as this kid maneuvers his way around a house full of sisters and seemingly no parental guidance. Mase curls himself into my side and watches the show aptly, occasionally giving me commentary about information that I wouldn't otherwise know, since I haven't watched this before.

The show cuts to commercial between episodes, and Mase is silent for a few moments before looking up at me. I tilt my head to look down at him and see the contemplative look on his face, like he's trying to figure out what to say. I wait patiently for him to collect it all and brace myself for whatever conversation is to come. Masen has a way of springing the most heavy conversations on me when I least expect it.

"Dad?" he eventually starts. My chest tightens a little at the name, proud to finally have earned the title. To finally hear it out of his mouth with such ease.

"Yeah, Mase?"

"Why aren't you and Mom together?"

See? Heavy conversations. Now, how to properly explain this to a six year old?

"Well, Mom and I were really young when we found out about you. And young people do some stupid things sometimes—a lot of the time, actually. I did a lot of stupid things and that's why I wasn't around the last six years and why your mom and I aren't together."

"But that was a long time ago. Why aren't you guys together now?"

"Your mom and I were really angry at each other for a long time. We're just getting things fixed and put back together now. Just because people have a baby together, doesn't mean they'll always be together, unfortunately."

"You don't love each other anymore?"

"I'll always love your mom, bud. And I'm pretty sure she'll always love me. We made you and we make really good friends. Sometimes people aren't meant to be together like Alice and Jasper or your grandparents or Grandpa Charlie and Sue."

"But you treat Mom like Jasper treats Alice and like Papa treats Gran and like Grandpa treats Sue."

Shit. He's noticed that. Bella and I really need to talk.

I sigh and chew on the inside of my cheeks before answering him. "It's complicated, Mase. But, no matter what happens with your mom and me, it will never affect you. I promise."

That seems to somewhat appease him for now, even though I can see the wheels still turning in his head. He nods and gives me a small smile before turning back to the TV.

}WTIAA{

Mase falls asleep sometime around nine that night. I was able to get him to brush his teeth and change into his pajamas about half an hour before, even though he claimed that he wasn't tired at all. But we sit down for an episode of How It's Made, and he's out before the end of the episode. I carry him to his bed and tuck him in with a kiss to his forehead and a long glance at him before I close his door.

I sit back on the couch to watch as the next episode starts up. I'm more or less just staring at the TV as I think about what needs to be said between Bella and me. I'm sick of tiptoeing around the kisses we've shared and the admission that we're still in love with each other with no action to do anything about it. I don't know if she's hesitant to talk about it because she's still wary because of what happened in the past, which I wouldn't blame her for. But, on the other hand, I've done a lot of growing in the last eight years, and especially the last several months with her and Masen. I've taken a lot of time to realize the mistakes I've made, even in the last few weeks.

I should have broken up with Tanya long before she decided to move out to Tacoma. I should have been straight with her from the beginning about not wanting to be in a serious relationship because of the baggage I've carried because of my past actions. I should have told Bella sooner about my continuing feelings for her. And even though I've always loved Bella, I've come to love her in a different way, seeing her as an adult with our son. She's the same as the teenager I knew in so many ways, but she's also what I've been looking for in a woman the last few years as I've realized I want to settle down within the next couple years. I can only hope that she can look past all the ways I've fucked up and allow us to start over. I need her and Masen in my life.

Just before the end of the episode, I hear her key in the door. I make the split second decision to have this conversation with her right now as opposed to putting it off any longer. I need answers, even if it's a no to trying to have a relationship. I just need some sort of definitive answer.

She smiles at me as she closes the door behind her. She looks just as good as she did when she was leaving earlier in the evening. Nothing on her is mussed, except for the slight ruddiness of her cheeks, indicating that she's had a glass or two of wine with dinner.

"Hey, Edward," she greets. "Is he asleep?"

"Yeah, he knocked out about half an hour ago," I confirm.

"Oh, good. He was okay?"

"Yes, he was great. As he always is," I affirm, pushing myself up off the couch to help her out of her coat. She smiles at me over her shoulder as she drops her purse and lets me push the material down her arms. I hang it on the coatrack by the door as she turns back around to face me.

"Good," she nods. "Thanks for watching him, Edward."

"Bella…" I warn lightly. I'm not sure how many times I'll have to reiterate that he's my son and he's my responsibility too before she can actually understand.

She sighs and nods once. "Right. I'm sorry. You're his dad. I'll get better at sharing the responsibility, I promise."

I smile softly down at her and place my hands on her shoulders. Bella pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth, her eyes impossibly round and inviting. My hands skim further up to cup her neck and caress my thumbs over the curve of her jaw.

"I think we need to talk, Bella," I whisper.

She nods her head minutely, releasing her lip and licking her tongue over it, making it shiny and slick. I want to press my own to them and feel how warm they are and taste the wine on them, but I refrain, because we really need to talk about what's happening between us before I rip my fucking hair out in frustration.

"Let me go change real quick. Then we can talk. I have some things I need to say to you."

}WTIAA{

Bella emerges from her room ten minutes later, finding me lounged back on the couch, waiting patiently for her. I thought I would be more nervous about having this conversation, because there's a very real possibility that this will end anything that we could have been in the future. But I'm calm now, ready for her to be next to me so I can tell her everything that I need to tell her, because I actually have a really good feeling about this. I just hope it doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass.

She's in a pair of black yoga pants and an old Forks High t-shirt with a familiar logo on the front.

"Is that my old practice shirt?" I ask, slightly amazed. I was convinced she had burned all my shit when I left to college.

She glances down at the logo on her chest and smiles wryly. "Yeah, I guess it is. Your clothes were about the only thing that fit me by the time I was twenty-five weeks."

Now that she's put it there, I can't get the image of a pregnant Bella walking around her house in my t-shirts out of my head. Her round belly, carrying our child, waddling around and looking perfectly sleepy. I'm hoping there's photos of that time in her life around somewhere that I can get ahold of at some point. Or that I can just get to experience it for myself in the future.

"Looks good on you."

She raises her eyebrows at me. "Don't try to butter me up before we have this oh-so-ominous talk." She smirks to show me she's joking. She comes over and curls herself up onto the couch, next to me, but far enough away that we're not touching aside from a skim of our knees.

"Was it working?"

She laughs and tilts her head to rest it against the back of the couch. "Maybe a little." She rubs her lips together and sobers. "But, seriously, what is it, Edward?"

I take a deep breath and reach out to grab one of her hands that rest in her lap. She lets me twine our fingers together and gently play with hers as I think up exactly what I'm going to say to her.

"What are we doing, Bella? We told each other we're still in love with each other, and it's like we've been ignoring that since we said it."

Her eyes meet mine and her grip tightens slightly around my fingers. "I don't know, Edward. I've been wondering the same thing."

"I want to be with you, Bella," I tell her point blank. I'm done skirting around the issue with her. It's caused too much strife between us in the past to continue this trend. "I want to take you out and do nice shit for you. I want to go out with you and Masen and not have to explain to people that we're not together. I just want you. And I know there's a bunch of shit from before that I know has been hard for us to work past, but we've already agreed to let it go. And I want to really let it go so we can have a chance to be together again. Really be together as two adults who know not to make the mistakes we made as stupid, irrational teenagers. Please, Bella."

There's a few moments hesitation before her lips quirk up slightly at the corners and she dips her head in a subtle nod. "I want that too, Edward. I hate what we've done to each other, but I want a do over. I want us to be good for our son and for each other."

I can't help the grin I feel starting to stretch across my face. There's a growing feeling of hope and excitement in my chest that I don't want to let get out of control, for fear of having it burn out, but at the same time, I like it too much to quell it so soon.

"So we're doing this?" I ask, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice.

Bella chuckles and lets herself smile fully. "We're doing this. We're doing it right, though. The dates, the wooing, the ass-kissing. All of it."

A chuckle bursts out of my chest. "We can do all that. I promise."

Bella giggles before pushing herself into my lap, wrapping her arms and legs around me and pressing her face into my neck. The smell of her invades my nose, bringing comfort and nostalgia with the flowery clean scent she's always had from the shampoo she's used since before I met her. It brings back memories of us pressed together like this when we were younger, appreciating each other's company and warmth. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her to my chest.

"I've missed you," she whispers into my skin, raising goosebumps.

I smile against her shoulder and kiss into the t-shirt there. "I've missed you, too, Bells."

}WTIAA{

BPOV

The following days are somewhat surreal for me. After Edward and I agree to actually try to make things work between us, he leaves, promising to see us again during his next day off and parting with a soft kiss. I get to bed that night and fall asleep more content than I have felt in a long time.

Thursday, Alice comes over in the morning to pick Masen up to watch him while I go to work. She asks me how my date went, but I brush her off, promising to tell her about it when I pick Mase up after I get off, and I think she can tell by the look on my face that things did not go the way she thought they would. I'm not sure if she's disappointed by that, but I haven't told her about what's been going on with Edward for fear that it would backfire before the two of us got a chance to talk. I'm not really sure how she's going to react to me telling her Edward and I are getting back together and I very kindly kicked Garrett to the curb midway through our date the night before.

At work, I cram as much stuff into my day as possible, having to catch up in order to get everything done from the days we were off for Christmas and the days we'll be getting off for New Years. The office is also holding a party this Saturday, which is New Year's Eve, that we're all attending. This means the office is closed on the following Monday to ensure that everything's clean and put back in order before we have clients in for meetings again in the new year.

Shelley comes by and asks how my work with Garrett is going, and I assure her that we're on track and we have a meeting to finalize everything the following week. She lets me know that they've invited clients to the New Year's Eve party this year, and to make sure the invite is extended to him especially, since he's one of our biggest clients. I smile and nod and make a note of it on my desk so I can send him an email when I get a chance.

I get out of the office by four and text Alice to let her know that I'm on my way over. She insists that I stay for dinner since Jasper wants some time with Masen, and I figure it's the perfect time to tell her about the development in my relationships.

When I get there, Masen is in the backyard with Jas, running around with toy guns and pretending to have a shootout with each other. I smile and shake my head at their shenanigans as I take my coat off and place it over the back of one of the chairs in the living room.

"Okay, time to spill," Alice insists, handing me a glass of white wine. I can smell something cooking in the kitchen, and it smells lovely, and my stomach growls at the hunger I've been disregarding all day.

I go to answer her when my cell phone dings in my purse. When I pull it out I see a message from Edward, asking me if I'm free Saturday night so that we can go out and enjoy the New Years festivities. I smile down at my screen, feeling giddy over the fact that he's asking me on a date. The first date jitters are happening all over again nearly ten years later.

"Ooh, is that sexy Garrett?" Alice asks as she takes a seat, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I shake my head. "No, it's Edward."

"Oh," she says, somewhat disappointed. "Well, tell me about last night!"

I put my phone down on the arm of the couch, reminding myself to reply to Edward later, as I take a seat. I kick my heels off and tuck one of my legs under me as I get comfortable.

"I had a good time," I answer with a shrug. "You know Garrett's nice, but I'm done with him."

She raises her eyebrows. "Just like that?"

I nod and take a sip from my glass. "Just like that. I told you I wasn't really into him, Alice. He's a great guy and very handsome, but I just didn't feel anything with him."

"So you just let him take you on a date, and when it was over said, 'Hey, you know what? I'm not really seeing this going anywhere. Thanks but no thanks.'" Alice looks at me like I've grown several extra heads.

I scoff, offended. "No, of course not. I think he could tell I was feeling off midway through our date, so he asked me about it. I told him honestly what I thought of him but that I wasn't feeling any sort of romantic feelings toward him. He told me he understood and that he enjoyed my company, but he didn't want to push me into something I didn't want. Then we finished our dinner like friends and even went to grab hot chocolate afterward and talked. It was nice to just hang out with him, ya know? It's good to have another adult to talk to that's not you or Rose. We'll probably end up staying friends."

"Really?" she asks. "He let go of it that quickly? What did you say to him that made him so okay with it?"

I squint at her. "Alice, any decent guy will accept it when a woman tells him she doesn't want to continue dating. He's not an asshole or sixteen." That's not all there is to it, and I'm not really sure that right now is the best time to admit to her that we had a pretty extensive conversation about my relationship with Edward that Garrett helped me through, but that was another big part of it.

She lifts one hand in defense, showing that she hadn't meant harm by the question. "I know that, B. There just seems to be more to it that you're not saying."

Dammit. Sneaky Alice and her all-knowing intuition.

I shrug. "We had a chat about what's happening in our lives and decided we weren't in a place to be seeing each other."

It's Alice's turn to squint at me in suspicion. She's quiet as she looks at me, curious, and I can see her lick her top teeth as she contemplates. The wine glass in her hand swirls gently as she stays quiet, and I take a sip of my wine as casually as possible to try to ease some of the tension I'm feeling from being under such intense scrutiny.

Her lips pop open suddenly when she's apparently found what she's looking for. "You told him about Edward."

I roll my eyes. "Of course I told him about Edward, Alice. He's the father of my child. Why would I leave something like that out?" I'm reaching now, trying to play it off, but I know she's about to call me on it, so I don't know why I even bother.

"No, I mean, you told him about Edward. B, do you really think I'm so blind that I haven't seen the shift in your and E's relationship? I could cut the tension in the Black's home with a knife when I walked in there on Christmas. Something changed between you two. What happened?"

I chew on my bottom lip as I contemplate where to begin. Figuring I might as well start at the beginning, I sigh and just lay it out there. "We kinda confessed we still love each other on Christmas Eve after Victoria's big ass mouth let it out that Edward's Masen's dad. We were dancing and it just kinda came out."

Her eyebrows nearly jump all the way up her forehead when I tell her. "Holy shit, B. You guys just laid it out there like that? And I thought you didn't feel that way about him anymore? You've been denying it for months to Rose and me!"

I give her a deadpan look. "Of course I was going to deny it. I had no business being in love with him. And, honestly, I don't think I loved him when we first reunited. I had too much anger to love him. But it's kinda developed over the last few months. Seeing him with Masen has kinda crumbled my defenses."

Alice's expression softens as she nods. "He is a good daddy. And Masen's always so happy now. Not that he wasn't before, but having a father around seems to bring out more of him."

I nod. "I know. And we've been spending so much time together and getting to know each other all over again as the adults we are now as opposed to the memories of who we were as teenagers."

"So what's happening now?"

"It took us awhile, but we finally talked about it last night after I got back," I admit. I take another sip of my wine before continuing. "We agreed to give it a go, but we're starting over fresh. Dating and all that before we really commit. But we're gonna keep it quiet for awhile. No need involving Masen in case it turns out badly."

"I'm still not Edward's biggest fan," Alice starts and glares at me when I snort at her, "but I really think this is going to work with you two. I wholeheartedly believe that you would still be together if that whole blow up over your pregnancy never happened."

I shake my head. "I don't think so. We both had a lot of growing up to do. We were young and stupid and didn't know what real life was like. I think we needed a kick in the ass to really get us to where we're supposed to be. I think something else would have just come around and tore us down eventually; maybe something that would have been a lot worse than what happened."

Alice whistles lowly. "That's deep, B."

I chuckle and nudge her leg with my foot. "Shush. I'm trying to have a conversation with you." She mocks collecting herself with a hand in front of her face and then looks at me with a sobered expression. "But I really want this to work, and I'd love if I had your support throughout it all. I know you guys are civil with each other, and I don't know what was said between you two to get to this place, but I'd like if we kept it that way. I miss him, Alice. I miss him so fucking much."

She lightly kicks my foot with hers and offers me a warm smile. "I'll support you through anything, Bella, you know that. You're my sister. If you wanted to shave off all your hair and change your name to Terry, I'd support you. There's no conditions on my love, not even your ex-boyfriend and current baby daddy."

I snort out a laugh and move to wrap an arm around her shoulders. "Thanks, Al."

}WTIAA{

Before we sit down to dinner, I text Edward back telling him I've actually got a company party for New Year's Eve, but I'd love if he accompanied me to that. He agrees and suggests we get dinner beforehand to have some time just to ourselves. I agree and can't keep the smile off my face throughout dinner, happily listening to my son recount his day with Aunt Alice and his adventures in the backyard with Uncle Jasper.

When we get home, I send Mase off to his room to call Edward, who assured me as we were leaving Alice and Jasper's that he'd be able to take the call when we got home. So, I let Mase talk to his dad while I change into my pajamas and get ready for bed. I've got another long schedule ahead of me at work the following day and I'd like to get as much sleep as I can. Masen comes trotting into my room a few minutes later, phone held out to me, and I can see the call is still going.

"Daddy wants to talk to you," he tells me.

I nod and take the phone. "Alright. Go get into bed. I'll be in to say goodnight in a few minutes."

I press the phone to my ear as he walks out, rubbing at his eyes through his obvious exhaustion. It's only eight-thirty, but he played hard today and he was up pretty early.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Bella, hey," Edward says, his voice sort of gravelly over the phone. He clears his throat before continuing. "I was just wondering about Saturday. Do you have someone to watch Mase?"

"Yeah, my dad's coming to Seattle to spend the day with him and watch him for the night. He's taking him fishing the next morning, too."

"Alright, just making sure."

"So how did you manage to get New Year's Eve off?" I wonder. "Don't they usually leave the interns all the shitty days? You seem to be getting lucky with the holidays."

He laughs and I can hear some shuffling in the background. "I'm on orthopedics rotation right now, and they're not too bogged down during the holidays. They usually only have a few senior residents and an attending on call for this sort of stuff. Seeing as I'm neither of those, I get the night off."

"That's not gonna be the case next year."

He groans. "Don't remind me. I'm already not looking forward to it."

I hear Masen call for me and sigh. "Alright, I gotta go. Duty calls. Party starts at eight on Saturday."

"I made reservations at a restaurant for six-thirty. I'll pick you up."

"Sounds good, Cullen."

"Goodnight, Bella."

I smile into the phone. "Goodnight, Edward."

}WTIAA{

When I get in the office the next morning, I've got a response back from Garrett in my email, saying he'll definitely be at the party and he can't wait to meet Edward, signed off with a winking face and a promise to talk to me soon.

For all the trouble that agreeing to go on a few dates with Garrett seemed like at the time, considering he's a client, I'm really glad we've come out on the other side as friends and our work relationship hasn't been muddled or hindered. I can see Garrett as someone I stay close with, even if he isn't my client one day, and I think that's a good thing considering my wish to write and publish my own book one day. It's good to build connections in our line of work, and Garrett is one of the most well-known ones that I have at this point.

The day passes in a blur, which I'm thankful for, since my Fridays usually drag on forever and make me glance at the clock every five minutes, disappointment heavy when I realize it's only been five minutes. No such thing happens today, though, and I drive to pick up Masen from Alice and Jasper's with a smile on my face.

Charlie calls when we get back to our apartment, making sure everything's good for him coming over the next day. I confirm that everything's in order and the pull out couch has his name written all over it. He grumbles a bit at that, always a little put out when he has to sleep on it, but I remind him it's that or Masen's teeny tiny twin size bed with the Spider-Man sheets. That usually shuts him up, considering Charlie's feet would hang of the end, and it's probably just as uncomfortable as the pull out couch. If I ever get a substantial raise, a new apartment with another bedroom is definitely in order.

"What do you want for dinner, Mase?" I ask from the kitchen, looking through the cabinets and hoping something will jump out at me. We finally ate the last of the Christmas left overs this morning when I made eggs and ham for breakfast, and I haven't gone shopping since before the holiday, so we're a little low on food.

"What do we have?" he asks back, his shaggy head poking up at me from over the back of the couch. He's in need of a haircut again. Maybe I'll mention that to Edward the next time I talk to him.

I sigh as I scan the shelves for a fifth time. "Not much, honestly. Mama needs to go shopping this weekend."

"Can we just order pizza?" he essentially begs, green eyes shining at me.

I squint at him. "No. You know full well Grandpa is gonna get you pizza tomorrow night. You can't have pizza two days in a row, kid."

He pouts his lips at me and his mouth opens on what I'm sure is going to be a complaint, but my phone ringing cuts him off. I shoot him a look that warns him to not even think about it as I go to answer it, seeing it's Edward.

"Hey," I greet, shaking the Mom tone from my voice.

"Hey, babe," he greets, the familiar but long-since-used term of endearment making butterflies kick up in my stomach. "You guys home?"

"Yeah, just trying to figure out what to do for dinner," I admit.

"Don't bother. I'll pick something up and go over. I wanna see Mase."

I'm a little surprised by his offer. "Do you not work tonight?"

"Had an earlier shift, and then I maxed out on my hours for the week," he explains. "Attending sent me home. What do you guys want?"

"Daddy's picking up dinner, what do you want?" I ask our son, who's eyes brighten—either at the mention of his father or the thought that he might actually get pizza two nights in a row. I'm not quite sure, but I nip the latter in the bud real quick. "You can't say pizza."

His expression doesn't drop, so he's really just excited to get to see Edward again. "Chinese?"

I shrug, okay with his suggestion. "Mase wants Chinese."

"Then Chinese he will get," Edward responds, a smile evident on his face. "I'll be there in about half an hour. Anything he doesn't like?"

"Nah, he's not picky."

"And you still like the shrimp fried rice?"

I smile at his memory. "Yep, my order's still the same."

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit, Bells."

"See ya, Edward."

I hunker down with Masen on the couch after I change into more comfortable clothes, paying only half attention to the episode of Spongebob that's airing. It's a new episode, so I don't really get the humor anymore, but Mase seems to enjoy it, so I let it play. He'd probably have a mini-fit if I changed it to one of my shows—not that I really want him watching Law & Order or Grey's Anatomy at his age—so I leave it and go through my phone.

There's a quick check to my Facebook page, and seeing that there's no new notifications, I quickly get sucked into cute animal videos and a compilation of dogs being so adorable around babies. My ovaries ache a bit at all the cute little humans, seeing them giggle and flap their limbs about in joy at their animals. I've always wanted more kids, but I've never had the opportunity. Never have I wanted Masen to be an only child, since, as an only child, I know it sort of sucks growing up by yourself. Mase is still at an age where the absence of a sibling doesn't mean much to him, but I know he'd be a great big brother and he's obviously thought about it, considering questions he's asked me recently. I'd love to provide him with a little brother or sister, but I'm in no position to do that right now. Even with Edward and I back together, it's tentative and in no place to be bringing another child into it all.

Mase jumps up as soon as he hears Edward start to open the door, nearly knocking his dad over as he tries to get through the threshold. Edward laughs at his exuberance as I roll my eyes and get up to take the food from him so he doesn't accidentally drop anything. After I get everything onto the kitchen table safely and Edward's gotten Masen to go wash his hands, Edward joins me, arm wrapping around my waist.

He drops a quick, chaste kiss to my lips in greeting. "Missed you," he hums, moving his mouth to my forehead for a kiss there. We're apart by the time Masen comes back in the room, moving about the kitchen to get what we need for dinner.

Sitting down with my two boys and enjoying dinner together, Mase telling Edward all about his days since they've last seen each other and laughter filling my kitchen, makes it feel like we're actually a cohesive family. It's a feeling I bask in while I can, simply enjoying how good it is to be in this position after several long years of tension and heartache. I know we're no where close to the end of our journey, but it definitely feels like we're heading in the right direction.

}WTIAA{

Charlie arrives the next day just as I'm finishing up lunch. I went grocery shopping first thing in the morning, dragging Masen along with me, so that I'd have stuff to sustain me through the last of the holiday season and I wouldn't have to go out again until the following week, hopefully.

After he let Masen down from his arms, Charlie comes over to where I'm stirring together our lunch on the stove, hooking an arm around my shoulders to pull me into him.

"How're you doing, Bells?" he asks, peering into the pot. "Ham and gravy?"

I nod. "Yeah, it's become Mase's favorite now that it's gotten colder. And I'm good, Dad. Getting through the holidays."

"Speaking of holidays, I got a call from Esme Cullen the other day…"

By the trail of his sentence, I can already tell where this is going. I'm sure Esme saw what Edward and I were getting up to on Christmas Eve. We weren't exactly secretive about it while we were in the middle of the Cullen's living room surrounded by their close friends and family. We'd only been cautious at the end of the night when we were sure people were watching us closely. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the room saw what Edward and I were doing, but leave it to Esme to call up my father to gossip. I love the woman, but she's always so excited about everything that she opens her mouth to whoever will listen.

"Oh, yeah?" I ask, sparing him only a glance in order to stay casual. "What'd she say?"

"Told me she saw you and Edward…canoodling while you were dancing." His eyebrows raise on his forehead in a classic Dad look, like he's waiting for me to try to tell him he's wrong when he know full well that he's right. But I'm an adult, and I don't feel the same intimidation by this look that I used to feel when I was younger.

"Canoodling?" I question with a snicker, a bit tickled by his choice of word.

"Bells…" he warns, not actually upset but not wanting me to avoid his question, either.

"Edward and I kissed," I admit, keeping my voice low, since I can hear Masen rustling around in his room, but I don't know when he'll decide to come darting back out into the living area. "We've decided to start dating again."

"Isabella."

Ooh, haven't been full-named in a while.

"Charles."

"Is that such a good idea?" he questions, the fight I heard before no longer in his tone. There's just genuine concern, now, and I react better to that. "I admit, he's definitely stepped up as Masen's father, but is getting involved again a smart decision?"

"Just as Edward's stepped up in being a father, he's also become a man," I tell him, turning off the burner on the stove. "I don't really look at him and see nineteen year old Edward, anymore. I see the soon-to-be physician who loves his son more than I've ever seen him love anyone, and who has finally taken responsibility for his part of what happened. I see a man who was able to forgive me for keeping his son from him and his family and who has done everything I've asked of him to get back in my good graces."

"You love him, still," Charlie realizes. There's a look of acceptance on his face, mixed with just a hint of his previous apprehension.

"I love him again," I correct with a small nod. "I'm not sure I loved him anymore when we first reconnected because of how darkened our past was, but I've definitely found the person I fell in love with again. And I love him more for his growth and change."

"Are you telling Masen, yet?" And I know by not throwing a fit, it means that Charlie's accepted this and he's ready to move on without more talk about how in love I am with Edward. Which is more than okay with me. No matter how old I get, I never want to go into too much detail with my dad about my love life.

"No, not yet. There's already so much change happening for him," I sigh. Charlie helps me pull down plates from the cabinet and starts ripping up slices of bread onto each of them. "Maybe once everything settles and we really figure out how this is all gonna work, then we'll tell him"

"Should I not expect you home tonight, then?"

I immediately understand what he's implying, and my nose scrunches and my brow furrows as I furiously shake my head. "Nope. Not going there. Not with you, Dad."

He gives me a deadpan look. "You had Masen as a teenager. I had to deal with the knowledge that my teenage daughter was having sex. Don't act like it's weird, now."

I cringe. "It's still weird. There should just be some unspoken rule that parents and children never discuss sex outside of the important sex talk. After that, it's off limits. I don't wanna know about your sex life, you don't wanna know about my sex life. Let's just leave it at that. Ignorance is bliss, as far as I'm concerned."

Charlie just chuckles as Masen comes back into the kitchen, eager for food and to spend the rest of the day with his grandfather.

}WTIAA{

"Wow, Mama," Masen gasps as I step out into the living room after I've finished getting ready. "You look so pretty."

I grin at him as I finish fastening my earrings onto my ears. "Thank you, baby."

"The kid's right, Bells," Charlie nods, looking at me over the back of the couch as I grab a black coat out of the hall closet. "You look good."

"Thanks, Dad." I lay my coat down over the back of the couch so I can smooth down the hem of my dress, making sure everything's in order. The pink garment is made of a suede-like material, and it's draped along my hips in a way that emphasizes but flatters the flare of my body. The neckline is a bit low-cut, but it's covered enough that it's appropriate for a work event where we're all going to be getting drunk together by the end of the night. The sheer black stockings held up by the garter belt underneath make it a touch sexier, but that's for me to know. And hopefully Edward to find out.

I'm just finishing fastening the buckle on my black sandal heels when there's a knock on the door. I know right away that it's Edward, and that makes these little butterflies go off in my stomach, just like I'm sixteen again. I have a flashback to the first time Edward came to pick me up for our first date, when I was only fourteen and having a good time having ice cream with the cutest boy in school in the middle of November. It was frigid, because it was nearing winter in Forks, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. The same giddy nervousness plagued me then, and it's a feeling that I revel in.

"Daddy!" Mase yells as he opens the door after I give him the okay. He launches himself at Edward's legs and wraps his skinny little arms around his waist. Edward reciprocates and rubs at Masen's back lovingly, that happiest grin on his face.

"Hey, bud," Edward greets. Masen gives him a spitfire recap about his day since they've last seen each other, which Edward nods along to attentively.

Meanwhile, I take a good long look at Edward in his nicely tailored, flattering suit. It's a charcoal grey color with a very thin, hardly noticeable black pinstripe to match the skinny black tie he wears along with it. The suit fits amazingly across his wide shoulders, and the way the pants stretch around his thighs has got to be illegal. I shift from foot to foot, trying to alleviate some of the throbbing I'm experiencing that I'm hoping no one else is noticing. I'm not usually one to jump at having sex on the first date, but I just might combust if I don't get anything from Edward tonight.

"Ready, Bells?" Edward asks, snapping me out of my Edward-induced lust haze. I blink and focus my eyes on him, and by the smirk that's adorned on his slightly-scruffy face, I can tell he knows exactly what just looking at him is doing to me. Bastard.

"Of course. Goodnight, Masen. Be good for Grandpa, and I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Mama. Goodnight, Daddy."

"Goodnight, kid," Edward says, ruffling his messy hair. "Time for a haircut. Maybe we'll go out tomorrow and get it done together again."

And I can't help but smile at how in sync Edward and I are again.

Let me know what you guys thought! Again, so sorry for letting it go this long between updates. Hopefully life's a little kinder on me in the future so I can actually get this story finished. I love you all, and thank you for all the support you've given me despite my absence.

Until next time lovelies! xx