All mistakes are mine.

"Well if it isn't little Annie Steele." I hear a familiar voice come from behind me.

Wonderful.

I turn around and look at the grey eyed copper hair man and roll my eyes.

"Grey." I say his name and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

"How are you? You look…. amazing."

"Yeah, thanks I need to go." I wanna get away from you.

"Ana, we should catch up. I have so much to tell you and I haven't seen you in three years."

"Maybe there's a reason for that Christian. Now I have an interview to get too. Excuse me." I walk by him out of the deli and head to SIP. The first publishing house willing to interview me.

"Ana…" Christian calls after, catching up to me.

"Ugg… can't you leave me alone? You sure knew how to do that years ago." I spit out and keep walking.

"Babe, that was years ago. I made a mistake. I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, you did. And I'm not your 'babe'. Now if you really could just go, I'll go back to pretending you no longer exist." I give him a sarcastic smile before turning on my heel away from him.

I pick up my pace and when I glance back, I'm relieved that he didn't follow me. He's standing there watching me, running his hands through his hair. He almost looks… lost.

I don't understand why, he's the one that walked out on me, after I gave him my virginity.

I mean for fuck sakes he used to be my best friend. I looked up to him, I'm pretty sure I loved him. Ok, I did love him.

But not anymore and never again.

Now I wouldn't care if he fried in the deepest part of hell.

I shake my head as the memories come flying back to me.

Christian and I were neighbors. I moved to Bellevue when I was six. Christian at the time was nine. We became fast friends. Christian's parents were amazed of how close we were. They never saw Christian take to anyone before. Even more to me than his sister, Mia. We were inseparable, well that was till I turned fourteen and my mother divorced Ray and I was forced to move to Vegas with her new husband Steven.

Just thinking of his name sends shivers down my spine.

I'll never understand how my mother didn't see how depraved he was. He's was an abusive drunk asshole. Most of the time I was the reason for his wrath.

I was able to hide the bruising for awhile. I knew if anyone saw it would make the situation worse. I made sure I did as many after school activities I could, to stay away from him.

Then when I turned sixteen something changed in him. He was no longer hitting me, but touching me inappropriately.

One day when I was in the shower, the one time I forgot to lock the door, he took pictures of me.

He threatened me with a knife if I didn't behave and take pictures for him. I've never felt so dirty and horrified as I did in that moment.

The next day I packed a bag and high tailed it out of Vegas. I called Ray and he picked me up at a bus depot in LA.

He made sure Steven was arrested, for child porn and child abuse. My mother still couldn't believe anything that happened. Even with the proof she stayed blinded. I cut her out of my life in that moment, last time I heard she was living in Georgia. Steven was serving a 25-year sentence.

I moved back to Bellevue, glad to be back. Away from the dark pits of hell. I didn't get to see Christian till Summer, since he was away at Harvard.

I had missed him so much.

When he arrived home for his summer break, sparks flew.

In no time, we started dating. He didn't go back to Harvard after the summer, instead he started GEH.

I would spend time between going to college and helping him build the company.

We didn't have sex for the first year we were together.

I had told him everything that happened with Steven, and I just wasn't ready. He told me he understood and never pushed me. I mean we did do other stuff.

However, he never even saw me naked till my 18th birthday, when I lost my virginity.

Christian was nothing but sweet and gentle to me. He cherished every inch of my body. He made me come countless times. He made it special and rememberable.

Then when I woke up the next morning he was gone. No note, no phone call. Gone.

I was beyond devastated.

I tried calling him and only got met with his voicemail. When I did finally find out where he was, he had left to go to New York. Not even his mom and dad knew the reason why he so suddenly up and left.

I waited for him to come back, to try and talk with him, get some answers to why he left me high and dry. He ended up not returning for over a month. When I went to go see him at Grey House, I was taken away by security. I was also put on the proscribed list, told to never contact Mr. Grey again.

Talk about a kick to the head.

The walls started to close up around me. I felt used and disgusting. I think I felt even worse after what Christian had done then I ever did with Steven.

He broke my heart and I knew I had to get away. I transferred my credits from WSU and decided to go across the country to finish my studies. I ended up at the university of Maryland for my English Lit degree.

I blocked out every memory of Christian Grey and did my best to move on.

I'm only back in Seattle because I got an interview at SIP. One of my professors sent my resume out to a Jerry Roach. Professor Tegan gave me a glowing recommendation and that's why I'm back in Seattle. Well, and I missed my dad too.

I was really hoping since Christian was the one who shunned me it would be easy to avoid him. Guess I was wrong there. I forgot how much of Seattle he owned.

Maybe this isn't a good idea.

The interview with SIP went great and I was hired on the spot. I will be assistant editor to Jack Hyde.

I'm going to be starting my dream job. Woot!

I won't be starting till Monday, which gives me a week to get some new work clothes and finish moving into my new apartment.

I'm going to be living with my bestie Kate who I knew back when I was studying at WSU. We managed to stay in touch, even after I went to UMCP. Between both our dads we were able to get a nice place in Escala. Its two bedrooms and two baths. It's a dream.

Kate is going to be working at Kavanagh media, which publishes the Seattle Times. She's going to put those journalist tactics to work now.

I arrive at the apartment, and when I enter I'm greeted by two dozen red roses on the breakfast bar. Kate is standing there smiling at me.

"Who gave you the flowers?" I ask as I approach her, admiring the sweet gesture.

Must be from one of her many boy toys.

"Oh, there not for me. They're for you." She states. She points to the card in the middle of the flowers.

"Who?" I don't know anyone that would send me flowers.

Kate just shrugs at me. I go to reach for the card and as I start to read the card, I drop it like it's on fire.

"Get rid of them!" I practically scream.

"What? Why?" Kate asks obviously confused.

"They're from him. Please just get rid of them." I'm so angry right now. How the fuck did he know where I lived?

And why is he doing this? He left me.

Asshole.

"Ana, maybe he is really sorry." Kate tells me after she picks up the card and reads it.

"I don't care. He's had his chance, it's been three years. I don't need any sorry excuses. Please get rid of them, take them to work."

How do I make sure I avoid Christian Grey at all cost, when I'm pretty sure he's watching my every step.

Freakin' Stalker!

Christian POV

I knew Ana wouldn't be happy to see me. But, I was still hoping she would talk to me. Three years have passed. I've missed her like crazy.

I guess I only have myself to blame.

Christian's POV- Three years ago...

I lie awake with Ana in my arms. I have to find a way to tell Ana about my diagnosis. I hate this. Cancer is a cruel bitch. I was diagnosed with stage IV melanoma. I just found out this morning. I went in a week ago, to have a mole on my skin biopsied, and tons of blood work done and a CT scan.

Silly me, thinking that it was nothing. Never in a million years would I think it would be cancer. And that advanced.

The doctor thinks my time is limited. There's a chance if I meet the specialist in New York, I can better my odds. I'm going to go under aggressive chemotherapy and maybe surgery. However, the odds are against me.

That's at least what the doctor said. Talk about your straightforward diagnosis.

"Mmm Christian." Ana mumbles beside me. I'm about to answer her when I notice she's sleeping.

"Forever...you...kids…my future...Christian. ." She sighs content.

My heart plummets into my stomach. Her words swimming around in my head.

Forever

I might not have forever, maybe only a couple months, if I'm lucky a year.

I can't tell her. I should, but I can't. I need to let her go, so she can have a future with someone that can give her everything she wants.

If you love them, set them free.

Trust me, I love this girl like crazy. No matter what I do, I'll end up hurting her. However, I think it would be better for her to hate me, then to watch me die.

I untangle myself from her arms and get dressed. I take out my phone and snap one last picture of her.

I then move to sit down beside her and move the hair that has fallen in her face. I kiss her gently on the lips, savoring her taste.

"I love you…" She tells me, even her deep induced sleep.

"I love you too, babe. Always." I pause.

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes, she deserves a better future. And I can't be that for her.

I rise from the bed taking one final look at her. My heart is clenching in my chest.

I'm doing this for her. I remind myself and walk out the door.

I get into my car, and for the first time in my life, I cry.

Present time

The next day I left for New York and met with a specialist. I started chemotherapy right away.

Weeks later after a blood test, and multiple other test, it was found that I didn't have stage IV. It was only stage II. However, the tumors that were found on my liver were unrelated to the melanoma, which is why they believed it was at a stage IV. The melanoma also had spread to my lymph nodes.

After three surgeries, they removed the tumors, and the affected lymph nodes. When I returned to Seattle, I continued my chemo and later on I did radiation as well. They said I was still at a high risk for the cancer to spread. That I had to do whatever to fight it off.

I was so sick, my hair had started to fall out, which caused me to shave my head. I didn't let anyone see me. Not my family and especially not Ana.

I isolated myself from the world.

I remember her coming into GEH that one day I had her kicked out. I tried my best to work that day. I had a hired nurse with me to try and help me cope. But, I was too sick to do anything. I watched on the cameras as they took Ana out kicking and screaming. When she was finally out the door, I took a good look at her face and knew I completely broke her.

I finally had to have Ros take over most of the day to day. I would only meet with people when I had too, and wear a wig. I couldn't let anyone know I was sick. Only Ros and Taylor knew the truth.

To everyone else I was just an angry recluse.

I just started this company and I already had to hand over the reins. I think that made me grow even more angrier at life.

I updated my will. If and when I passed I would leave everything to Ana. Ros would stay as COO of GEH and Ana would be the new owner and CEO. I even left her a letter telling her everything. Don't worry I made sure my family was taken care of too.

Then about six months ago, I went into complete remission.

I had told my family about a year ago, about my cancer diagnosis. They were beyond shocked that I hid it from them. That I closed myself off and became an island state.

They didn't understand why I didn't share with them. Why I would suffer alone.

I soon realized after some help that I was in a deeper depression and a somewhat a state of denial that I cared to see.

I'm been seeing Dr. Ike for almost a year now. I finally see when I pushed everyone away, not only did I hurt them more then I can imagine, but myself.

I confessed to Ray what happened and what I did to Ana. I thought at first he would kill me, but for the first time in all the years I knew him, he hugged me.

He told me what Ana has been up to. I already knew. I've been keeping an eye out for her.

I have a Luke Sawyer looking over her in Maryland. I even talked to one of her professors, who I knew through Harvard, about recommending Ana for a job at a Seattle publishing house, and I would take care of the rest.

I made Ray promise not to tell her, that she needed to hear the truth from me.

He agreed and only could hope I could make it right. I cut her pretty deep. According to Ray she became closed off and un trusting to the world around her.

I might of thought at the time I was doing to right thing, but I now know I might of ended up hurting her more.

The elevator pings and Sawyer comes walking into the room.

"Did she get the flowers?" I ask him.

"She did, however just a minute ago, her roommate was taking them out of the apartment and dropping them off at 1201. That's Miss. Hurley's apartment."

Oh, yes Miss. Hurley. She's the kind old lady that lives in the building. She was widow a couple years back. I know she's lonely, she hangs around the lobby waiting to find people to talk too.

Well, at least someone will appreciate the flowers.

This is going to be harder than I thought.

Ana's POV

I have managed to avoid all of Christian's attempts to contact me. I don't understand why he's trying so hard.

Maybe I should hear him out.

No, Ana. He left you high and dry. You gave him something you can't get back. All because you thought he loved you.

What a crock of shit.

My first day of work went perfectly. Jack has been extremely kind at showing me how everything works. He thinks I have great potential. It's nice to feel wanted.

Now I'm soaking in the tub and my mind wanders to him and those stupid beautiful grey orbs

Flashback

I've been back in Seattle for a month now. I was able to get my GED and will start college in the fall. I just didn't have it in me after everything to go to school. It took me over a week to even get out of bed.

It wasn't till I learned of Stevens arrest and conviction that I felt like I could go outside again.

My mom all but abandoned me. Taking Steven's word over mine. With the help of Carrick Grey, they got the best of Steven and he was convinced somehow to plead guilty.

Don't know how they did it, but they did.

I was told that Christian is returning from Harvard today. I missed my friend.

I wonder if he missed me too?

We only talked on and off the two years I was gone. We exchanged some letters, but it wasn't even close to what it was when we were little.

We were attached to the hip.

So, I'm sitting in the Grey's living room waiting with his family for his arrival.

Soon enough the door flies open and in strolls Christian.

Damn!

When did he become insanely hot? He's always had muscle but he's now more pumped up. I can see his muscle ripple underneath his tight white t-shirt.

Is it hot in here?

Then all of sudden it's like we're in the movies. Our eyes lock and it's like rockets and fireworks going off.

After he greets his family he walks over to me, with the hugest grin on his face.

"Look at you, little Annie Steele all grown up."

"Yes, and little Annie is now Ana. You would be best to remember that, Chris."

He would always call me Annie, knowing how much it drove me crazy. In return I called him Chris, knowing it drove him just as crazy.

Secretly, I liked it. It was our little game.

"Aren't you going to hug me?" He asks giving me his awarding winning pout.

I nod as I wrap my arms around him. He pushes me tight against his body.

Yep, sparks were flying. It awakened something inside of me, I was sure would stay dormant forever.

"You look beautiful, Anastasia." He whispers in my ear.

"Not so bad yourself, hotshot." He looks down at me, his eyes darkening.

"Ok, that's enough with hugging my daughter." My dad steps in

Christian releases me and shakes my dad's hand.

We sat around the dinner table, Christian and I making googly eyes at each other the entire meal.

Elliot, being Elliot had to announce to everyone about the gestures we were making. Christian promptly hit him in the back of the head telling him to shut up.

When I looked over at Grace, I could see her eyes gleam. I know she secretly wants us together, when I got old enough.

At least that's what Mia tells me.

After dinner, everyone busies themselves in the living area. Christian pulls me aside to the kitchen.

"Come to the boathouse with me. I want to talk to you." He tells me.

All I can do is nod.

He takes my hand as I follow him out to the boathouse. It's dusk now and the sky is filled with orange and pinks.

Before we enter the boathouse, Christian pushes me up against the doors and kisses me feverishly.

I'm at a total loss when his tongue enters my mouth. I can feel his hips thrust into mine. His erection poking me in the stomach.

I'm blown away what I feel for this man. He finally breaks away from me resting his forehead on mine. Both of us catching our breaths.

"Be mine. I've missed you so much."

"You don't waste anytime do you, Grey." I smirk at him

"When I know what I want, I tend to go for it. I saw you today, something inside of me ignited. I know you felt it too."

"I did."

"So, what do you say?"

"I'm yours." He kisses me again. We got so lost in each other we didn't notice my dad and his come up to us.

End Flashback

My dad ended up pulling Christian off of me. My dad thankfully started laughing after giving Christian an ear full after asking him what his intentions were, and he had better treat me right or his body would end up in the Sound. Carrick was in agreement with it.

We couldn't be apart after that. After I confessed to him about Steven, he ended up making me stronger. Built back some of that self-esteem that I had lost.

Maybe that's why he was the only one that could break me.

And he did.

I didn't even let any other guy try to get close to me. As far as I was concerned they were nothing but scum, waiting to hurt me.

I had my fun in college, between studying. I partied and hung out with my friends. I just refused to date. Nothing wrong with that, right?

I still don't understand what I did wrong? Why did he leave me without a word?

Was the sex that bad? Maybe my body was hideous from the scars Steven left me. Maybe there was someone else. He took what he was waiting for, for over a year, then left into the sunset with someone else.

I pushed his memory aside for so long. Why is he trying to come back now?

Maybe he wants me miserable?

I get out of the tub, slipping on a pair of pajamas, then curl into a ball on my bed willing myself to sleep.

A/N: Part Two will be tomorrow.

I know my information on melanoma might not be 100% right. I looked up what I found on the internet, and this is what I came up with. Don't worry there are NO character deaths (unless it's really really old age). This story in no way is mean to offend anyone. If you are or know someone that is battling Cancer, I think you are some of the strongest people out there. I pray to you that you will fight and beat that horrid monster. That you're surround by love ones.

Thanks to Phillis for helping me with the idea...

Also, I will not go into anymore detail about Steven. All nasty and rude reviews will be deleted. There's no point to them and I won't listen to them.