Ok, this is a drabble of sorts but for a scene I just REALLY wanted to do. I'll continue/elaborate on it if anyone is interested, but if not I just really wanted to do this. There is a severe lack of Jenova!Cloud in this Fandom. I mean it's practically giftwrapped, people!

Anyway, hope you enjoy. I own nothing etc.

His back was to her, the pale green glow of the exposed lifestream giving a ghostly tinge to the site. The reactor had been abandoned for quite some time, thus it was dark aside from the dim light of the mako. The usual blonde spikes were far more pale than they should have been. Cold silver in place of the warm gold.

"Cloud! Stop!"

Cloud didn't turn around, but he spoke.

"It was stupid of me wasn't it? To think I'd ever be normal I don't think I've been human in a long time. I start wondering if I ever was..."

Tifa clenched her fists at her sides, jaw set tightly.

"You are human, Cloud..." she said. "You can't let her control you. She's not your master, you killed her, and now you can starve her so she doesn't come back, but you have to step away!'

"I know she's dead." He said flatly. "She's been dead a long time this has nothing to do with her."

"What are you talking about? Cloud-"

"She's gone, but Tifa...all of you...I understand now," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I understand what she was. I understand what I am now."

Finally he turned to look at her. Over his shoulder she saw his paled skin and the intense blue glow of his eyes, the black pupil stark against the iris. It was clear, even from several feet away, that the pupil had elongated into a slit.

"It's how she reproduces...how her kind reproduces-...how our kind...reproduces..."

He trailed off, his gaze misted over. Without waiting to hear her response he turned back to the broken reactor.

"Find a planet...feed off it...inject DNA into lifeforms already there...like a virus." He tilted his head a bit, thoughtful. "…don't need to reproduce by making a new cell, you just need to convert one that's already made. She was like that too, he was a normal person of her world, and then one came, and made her its daughter, then they sucked the world dry and she came here...to start all over..."

"Cloud, listen to me." Tifa approached him carefully. "You need to back away. We'll find a way to help you, we'll stop this. You need to back away-"

"I can't help it, Tifa." His shoulders trembled, his hands slowly rising up and clutching at his head. "I'm so...thirsty...and it smells so good..."

From the angle she had approached she saw him lick his lips, his eyes hidden by his hair.

"Cloud...if you don't back away, your work, our work, our fights will have been for nothing, and Jenova and her people will have died for nothing, whoever they are. You need to-"

He cut her off with a curt, shaky chuckle, shaking his head.

"She must be so ashamed of me, Tifa."

"She won't be if you step away from the reactor."

"Do you think she hates me? She probably does…" he trailed off, almost lazily. "Because I'm ...I'm not even human, but I've always been a lie haven't I?"

His laughter grew louder, his lips turning up in a pained grin.

"I was never a SOLDIER, I was never who I thought, I was never what I thought-"

"You are Cloud Strife, the man who saved the world from Jenova, and you will save the world from it now!"

"It's not Jenova that's threatening it now Tifa, it's me."

"You aren't Jenova!" she snapped, getting closer to him.

"That's even worse isn't it? I'm not Jenova, I'm not Sephiroth, I'm not under any kind of control but here I am on my own. I don't have an excuse…"

Tifa braced herself and lunged forward, attempting to knock her friend out before anything escalated. She barely got off the ground when a set of tendrils ripped out from Cloud's back, snagging her out of the air. She yelped in shock and horror, attempting to get free of their grip. Cloud looked at her, bags under his eyes and a solemn expression set on his face.

"I'm sorry, Tifa…" he said quietly. "My mother wants me to grow up."