Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Stargate.

A/N:

I've read a fair amount of stories where characters get a 'do-over'. Most of my stories are attempts to re-write the originals by inserting a new factor. In this story Harry goes back in time. However, instead of attempting to be subtle... he pretty much says: Ah, Screw It!

This time round is for his enjoyment... as far as he is concerned at least. The universe doesn't totally agree.

The crossover doesn't fully take off until about fourth year.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, back again I see!"

"Huh? What?" Harry asked as he tried to look around blindly. Something was on his head; it felt heavy yet cloth-like. He reached up and lifted the blindfold… he froze at the sight before him.

It looked like the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Students seated at the long tables looking at him expectantly. But he knew these students, a glance at the Gryffindor table showed no sign of Ron but… a young Hermione… Hagrid like hair and all, then he noticed the few students standing directly in front of him, Ron and Zabini to name two. This was unusual as the last thing he remembered was falling asleep in a Hogwarts' bed having just defeated Voldemort… seven years in the future. Of course he had been dead an hour or two before that… but he was sure he got better.

"Oh god. What happened?" Harry mumbled. He dropped what he assumed was the Sorting Hat back over his eyes before raising it again to make sure he wasn't imagining it all.

"Mr. Potter, if we could continue?" Came the same voice.

"Sorting Hat?"

"Indeed, I realise that it must be rather boring to go through it all again, but we shouldn't keep everyone waiting."

"Did I just dream the last seven years of my life?" Harry hissed angrily under the hat.

"Of course not. It rarely happens but you seem to have been given the opportunity to have a second go at making things right, Rowena Ravenclaw and Arthur Dunwall are the only two I know of personally. I'd advise you not to waste it, I have never heard of someone having a third chance." The Hat warned.

"So I'm not about to wake up and find that Tonks and Remus are dead?"

"Lord no!" The Hat laughed in his head. "In fact, if you use what you know then you stand a good chance of saving even young Mr. Diggory over there."

Harry quickly popped the brim of the hat up and suddenly felt a rush of hope and joy as he saw the former/future Hogwarts Champion staring back at him like everyone else.

"They can't hear us, right?"

"Did you ever hear me talking to any of the other students I sorted whilst you were here? I had a rather long discussion with your young friend, Miss Granger, on why she would do better in Ravenclaw than Gryffindor!"

"Then why didn't you put her there? She's always been the smartest."

"The same reason I put you in Gryffindor." The Hat returned smugly.

"Because she asked you to." Harry sighed.

"Indeed. So, Mr. Potter, would you care to trust my judgement this time round and enter the House of Slytherin? After all, you are the rightful Lord of Slytherin."

"I am?"

"By right of conquest, in this timeline you have defeated that young upstart, Riddle once. In your last timeline you did so nearly once a year! Magic will recognise you as such. Speaking for myself and Hogwarts, we definitely acknowledge your Lordship."

"Wait… I'm only eleven in this timeline, and only barely, aren't I too young?"

"Only by mortal human standards, and magic does not care one whit what mortal humans think. Neither do we for that matter. But we digress, shall you enter the pit of snakes?"

"Would it really make that much of a difference?"

"Mr. Potter… may I call you Harry?"

"Erm… sure."

"I could help you sit here and go through the pros and cons of Slytherin versus Gryffindor, instead I shall give you the one piece of information that will be of most importance to you:

"Slytherins have their own private rooms."

"Sold!"

"SLYTHERIN!" Boomed the Hat into the Great Hall.

Harry grinned and took off the hat and headed for the house of green and silver as his own uniform adopted the trim.

As he sat down to watch the rest of the sorting he noticed the room was absolutely silent and everybody was staring at him in shock.

"What?"

"Headmaster, this is outrageous!" Snape said as he stood angrily.

"I must confess; I am at a loss, Severus." Dumbledore said quietly.

"Potter's just a half-blood! He doesn't belong in our great house!" Came the snotty voice of an eleven-year-old Draco Malfoy.

Harry was now beginning to remember why he fought so hard last time against Slytherin. He looked at the Hat only to see it chuckling on its stool.

"I demand he be resorted!" Snape said loudly causing a stir amongst the students and professors.

"Here! Here!" Came a chorus of agreement from around the room, but most notably from his new fellow Slytherins.

Harry had had enough. He wasn't going to be the meek little boy like last time. He had all the knowledge he needed, he knew their mistakes (even if they hadn't made them yet), but he also knew their histories.

"HEY!" Harry shouted causing the hall to fall silent and return its attention to him. "So, you think that because I am a half-blood I don't belong in Slytherin, right?"

"Exactly, you are a disgrace to the wizarding world." Malfoy snarled.

"So… that would mean that Professor Snape should be removed from Slytherin as well. He's a half-blood after all."

There was a rush of wind caused by every Slytherin head snapping to the staff table and Professor Snape. The look of betrayal was present on most, but not all, students in his house.

"POTTER!" Snape screamed. "Cease your lies!"

"What lies? Your mum was a witch, Eileen Prince. Your dad was a muggle, which I guess makes you even more of a half-blood than me. It's in the school records, Dumbledore can confirm it and so can probably most of the older professors." Harry shrugged with a grin. He was definitely enjoying himself.

"Why you insolent-"

"Professor Snape!" McGonagall snapped angrily, halting the greasy wizard's descent towards the Boy-Who-Lived.

Snape turned to Dumbledore. "Aren't you going to do something about this?" He demanded.

Albus Dumbledore was truly at a loss. Never in all his decades at the school, even as a pupil, had the Sorting been interrupted. "I'm afraid I don't see what I can do."

"Potter is clearly spreading lies and has no place in the noble house of Slytherin!"

Albus' head snapped round to glare at Snape. "I believe it would be in everyone's interest to let the matter drop." He said seriously. He refused to lie just to protect Severus' ego.

"I object!"

All heads snapped back to Harry. "He called me a liar. He also called me names. I demand sanctions!" Harry said as he banged his eleven-year-old fist on the table. He was actually enjoying himself. He hadn't felt this good since he took the luck potion.

"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding." Albus said diplomatically.

"A 'misunderstanding'?" Harry laughed. "Sure, I'll accept that on two conditions, one, all the other professors agree that they can see how Severus calling me a liar was a 'misunderstanding', two he swears on his magic that it was a 'misunderstanding'."

"But to what end, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked in his grandfatherly manner.

"Justice! My safety! Considering he was about to assault my person I think it is a pretty damned safe bet to say that he is not the best choice for being a professor."

"Language Mr. Potter!" Came the largely ignored verbal admonishment from Professor McGonagall.

"I'm afraid now is not the appropriate time to be discussing this." Albus said as he indicated the students, focused on every word and action.

"So, what? You want to give it a week? Wait until he's had a chance to really beat me into submission?"

"I was thinking that we could wait until after the feast." Albus laughed.

That one stumped Harry. "Oh… yeah, ok." Harry went to sit down and everyone sighed in relief… until he shot right back up again. "Just one cotton pickin' minute! What about these bigots?" He asked indicating his fellow Slytherins. "Aren't you going to punish them for what they said?"

"Again, Mr. Potter, perhaps after the feast?"

"Fine… but I expect detentions to be handed out!" Harry grumped.

The last surprise came for Harry when a shell-shocked Blaise Zabini eagerly hurried over to the Hufflepuff table instead of being sorted into Slytherin. Harry just shrugged; he was more interested in the fact that he was practically hairless. He kept going to scratch his stubble but when he came across his smooth pre-pubescent skin he would think about the other places he was supposed to have hair. It was fairly embarrassing.

Albus was trying to figure out what had gone wrong. He had left Harry with his mother's family in the hopes that he would not suffer an over-inflated ego from his fame. He knew full well that he would not be well received by Petunia and Vernon, but it was a sacrifice that had to be made.

Instead, Harry appeared far too well versed in the wizarding world's history and culture than he would expect for someone raised by people who even refused to say the word 'magic'. He wondered if perhaps Remus had not heeded his warnings and had been visiting the young lad over the years. He would have to check with Petunia and see.

Minerva was devastated that little Harry Potter was not one of her lions. She had been looking forward to this day for over eleven years ever since James placed his son in her arms and told her she was holding her next Quidditch star. That said; she was livid at Severus and the rest of his Slytherins and how they had received him. She was not happy about him staying in Slytherin.

As Dumbledore finished his post-feast speech Harry stood up. "Let's get to it then." He said as he walked up to the staff table.

"Of course, Harry. Let us adjourn to my office."

"What? Hell no! He-" Harry pointed viciously at Snape. "-insulted me in front of all these people. I want this done in front of all these people, seems only fair to me."

"Mr. Potter, this is hardly the plac-"

"It's the perfect place! Why? Are you afraid of the truth? If you have nothing to hide then do it here. I am perfectly willing to accept if I am wrong." Which was a complete and utter lie. Harry was a stubborn idiot at the best of times. He just didn't care as he knew the truth.

"I am afraid I must insist that we take this somewhere more private."

"Fine, then I am going to call an advocate from outside the school." Harry declared as he raised his nose in the air like a snotty little eleven year old. If he was going to have to go through puberty again he was damned well going to make the most of it.

"I'm afraid muggles are incapable of entering Hogwarts." Dumbledore said apologetically.

"Muggles? Why would I want a muggle? They wouldn't know anything about Hogwarts in the first place… well, unless I asked a muggleborn's parents I guess… but no, I will be asking for an official from the Ministry of Magic!" Harry declared triumphantly. "Possibly two." He considered as information from his past years at Hogwarts and the war came to mind.

Dumbledore saw this as an opportunity to find out who had been teaching Harry about the wizarding world. Hopefully it wasn't someone with ulterior motives that would see the prophecy come to a less than optimum resolution.

"Very well. Who do you wish to call?"

"Amelia Bones and Alastor Moody."

Harry was quite pleased to see Snape pale even further. Harry had remembered that Moody had it in for Snape last time and would love to have a chance to re-investigate him. Bones was the only person in the Ministry to actually give him a fair shake.

Albus managed to hide his own dismay. The last thing he wanted was Harry Potter in the same room with the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. There was no way Amelia Bones would simply accept his word of what happened without investigating herself. The first question out of her mouth was bound to be: 'Where have you been since that Halloween?'

"I am sure Madam Bones is far too busy-"

"I am a citizen of the British Magical World. A world she is duty bound to protect, I am sure she can make the time. Besides, it can't hurt to ask."

"Very well, I will go and ask her."

"Yeah, right!" Harry scoffed. "I am the one who will ask."

"Don't you trust me Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked slightly hurt, despite the fact that he had no intention of calling either Madam Bones or Alastor Moody.

"Give me one good reason."

"I am a well respected member of the Wizarding community."

"So am I, but you don't seem to trust me. Try again." Harry grinned.

Albus was becoming frustrated; the boy was far too savvy for a mere eleven year old. He would just have to let things play out and see what he could learn.

"Very well, Harry. Come along and you can make your call." Albus sighed.

"I think I will wait here until she arrives."

"But how will you call her?" Albus frowned.

"Perhaps Professors Sprout and McGonagall would be so kind as to escort Susan to the Floo so she can connect them." He smiled.

"You trust them but not me?"

"Professor McGonagall has already spoken up to defend me from physical harm from Snape, what have you done?"

"Perhaps, Albus, we should acquiesce to Mr. Potter's reasonable demands?" Professor Flitwick suggested in his squeaky yet wise voice. "I, for one, am appalled by what I saw here today. Lily would be furious and as one of her mentors, I feel infuriated on her behalf."

"Thank you Professor." Harry said respectfully.

"Typical Potters. Always getting their way." Snape spat.

"That would be another insult, Severus." Filius said sternly. "If you will excuse me, I believe I shall retrieve Madam Bones and Mr. Moody myself!" He declared before he angrily stomped over the table sending plates flying before heading out Great Hall doors.

Everyone watched in awe at the spectacle.

Harry felt great joy that the professors were sticking up for him this time round. He wondered just how much Dumbledore had hid from them last time around. He moved from around the table and picked up the Sorting Hat.

"Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I just wanted to talk to the Hat about some stuff he mentioned." Harry shrugged before he sat on the stool and placed the hat on his head again leaving the whole hall staring at him.

"Perhaps the brat has some sense after all and is begging to be resorted." Snape sneered.

"Shut up Severus!" Albus snapped angrily.

The students gasped as the Grandfatherly figure vanished in a moment of anger. Albus quickly collected himself.

"I apologise children." He said genially, his grandfatherly mien settling back in place.

Meanwhile Harry was having an interesting conversation.

"Did you know that me going into Slytherin was going to cause this much trouble?"

"Of course not! I knew that Mr. Malfoy was an arrogant brat but I had expected more from Albus. I was also disappointed that Minerva was not more aggressive in her defence of you." That Hat said disappointedly.

"Am I even going to be safe in Slytherin?"

"As safe as you were in Gryffindor." The Hat shrugged. "There are a lot more differences between yourself now and yourself the last time round. You will fly through your practical classes because you have seven years of experience. You are far more confident and have knowledge to hold over people like Severus.

"I am quite sad to say that the friendship you had with Mr. Weasley last time will not happen this time, it was quite distasteful sorting him after reading his head. I was tempted to put him in Slytherin just out of spite… or Ravenclaw, I would love to see the little tosser flounder amongst the brains of the school."

Harry sighed. "I suppose it is to be expected. He feared me when they suspected I was the Heir of Slytherin and he actually believed I put my name in the Goblet of Fire."

"This is a chance for you to make new friends and help them. Besides, if you actually wind up in the tournament again you could enjoy it this time."

"I suppose. What about Quirrell and the rest? Can't you tell the headmaster about it?"

"He already knows but refuses to do anything… wants to try and redeem the bastard."

"Fine, so I just have to try and reveal his little friend some other way." Harry considered.

"I might have a suggestion for that." The Hat offered. "Take up your father's mantle of pranking."

"Of course! Sirius! I have to get him out of Azkaban!" Harry said frantically.

"Slow down, Harry! There is little point going off half-cocked. I put you in Slytherin for a reason, use that cunning you tend to shy away from.

"Now, I believe Filius has returned with your requested advocates."

"Thanks, if I get the chance I'll try and visit at some point."

"That would be lovely, life is so boring sitting on the shelf." The Hat said wistfully.

Harry raised the brim of the hat to watch as an enraged Amelia Bones stormed up to the staff table with Flitwick hurrying behind her and Moody clumping along. He was pleased when she began whispering harshly with Dumbledore instead of shouting and bellowing for all to hear… like the Greasy Git.

Eventually she turned to Harry. "Mr. Potter, a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Amelia Bones and this is retired Auror Alastor Moody, you requested we come and be involved. Perhaps we could take this to a more private setting?"

"Sure, but I expect there to be sanctions for Malfoy at the very least." Harry shrugged as he slipped off the stool, still holding up the brim of the hat.

"Perhaps you should leave the hat?"

"Nah, he's finished the sorting, he said he gets bored so he can be my advisor."

"Why thank you Mr. Potter, that would be wonderful!" The Hat said cheerfully.

As Dumbledore led Amelia, Moody, Harry, Flitwick, Minerva and Severus to his office, Pomona Sprout was left to send the rest of the children to their dorms. It was the most exciting and eventful Welcoming Feast she had ever witnessed. She couldn't help but wonder what that meant for the rest of Harry's next seven years.

Once the prefects had cleared the students from the hall the betting began.

"One galleon on Snape getting fired tonight!" Poppy chirped happily as she slapped the large gold coin on the table.

Sinastra just scoffed. "There is no way that Dumbledore lets that happen. I've got a galleon that says when Snapey goes, Dumbledore follows soon after."

"By choice or by force?" Pomona asked.

"Force. Both are stubborn. The Board of Governors will kick them both out."

"I think Dumbledore's got just enough self-preservation instincts left to cut Snape loose." Vector argued. "I think Dumbledore will be the one to fire Snape."

"I have a galleon that says Potter is the one who gets Snape fired." Charity Babbage giggled.

"NO BET!" Came the collected response.

"Charity, that - as the Americans say - is a Sucker's Bet. We all saw what happened here today and we can all agree that young Mr. Potter will be a force of change in this school… a force neither Snape nor Dumbledore will approve of." Pomona pointed out.

"'E seemed so meek an' quiet when I took him his letter." Hagrid frowned.

"Took him his letter?" Poppy asked.

"Apparently 'e didn't respond to them. 'eadmaster Dumbledore asked me to go an' deliver one in person and take 'im to Diagon Alley."

"What about his guardians? Why didn't they take him?" Pomona asked.

"'Is guardians are muggle. They didn't even want him to come to 'Ogwarts. Poor little tyke was sleeping on a dirty floor whilst they all 'ad beds." Hagrid said in disgust.

"WHAT!" Came the collective outburst of horror.

"Why the devil wasn't Minerva sent? She deals with all the muggle raised student's inductions to the magical world." Pomona asked.

"Dunno, Dumbledore just asked me to go."

"If you will excuse me, I believe I should be joining the meeting with Mr. Potter." Poppy announced as she left the table. "Oh, and I have a galleon that says I'm the one who gets Albus and Severus fired." She added as she slapped another coin on the table.

"Mr. Potter, would you care to explain why you felt it was important for the Head of the DMLE to come out in the evening to deal with this?" Amelia asked as she sat down in a conjured chair.

Harry was sitting in a very large chair with the Sorting Hat on his lap, he looked so very small. "Because I fear for my safety and do not believe I should have to walk around looking over my shoulder constantly. You are also the only person I can think of that won't be intimidated by him." He said jabbing a thumb at Albus.

Albus looked highly offended… even more so when he realised everyone agreed with Harry… including Snape.

"Very well, please outline what occurred."

"Wouldn't it be much easier and quicker to observe Professor Flitwick's memories of the event in the Headmaster's Pensieve?" Harry asked innocently as Albus' eyes flew wide open.

"How do you know about that?"

"I have my ways." Harry shrugged. "OW!" Harry growled at the Hat as its mouth frowned at him having bit his hand. "I also know you have my dad's invisibility cloak, which I need back."

Albus really didn't feel comfortable handing that over. Harry was far too well informed and far too cocky. There was no telling what trouble the boy would get into.

"Perhaps when you are older." He said apologetically.

"Hmm, I see." Harry mused before turning to Amelia. "I would like to press charges against Albus Dumbledore for the theft of a family heirloom."

This had everyone's eyebrows shooting into the hairlines.

"This is highly unusual." Amelia remarked; she turned to Albus. "I would advise you hand the cloak over, Dumbledore. Mr. Potter is well within his rights, especially as you have essentially admitted to having it."

"I'd also like to have anything else of mine he is holding… and those charms removed from it and me."

"Charms?" Moody asked.

"I'm fairly certain those little trinkets are tied to me." Harry said pointing to a nearby table.

"They simply keep me informed of your health and safety, my boy." Albus reasoned.

"Which is an invasion of my privacy and-" Harry stopped as the door opened and Poppy Pomfrey entered.

"I just learnt some news from Hagrid and felt that I should attend… before this goes any further I would like a few moments alone with Mr. Potter as the school nurse."

Harry sighed. He knew where this was going. "Madam Bones might as well come too. You'll probably want to tell her what you find." He said as he stood and put the Hat back on his head, holding the brim up so he could see.

"I was having so much fun too." He thought morosely.

"Not to worry Harry, at the very least you will get justice for what happened to you and you won't have to go back to them." The Hat told him.

%

Back in the Headmaster's office Snape was his usual belligerent self.

"I can't believe you are giving into the brat's demands! He is clearly nothing more than a pampered little prince like his father."

"Shut your mouth Severus or I will shut it for you!" Filius snarled.

Snape was shocked at the vehemence the tiny charms master was showing. Filius Flitwick was generally a jovial person.

"I agree." Minerva scowled. "You have crossed a line today and as I have never supported your appointment due to your clear bias, lack of experience and juvenile attitude, I will personally be lobbying to have you fired!"

"Now, now, Minerva. You know as well as I do that all staff appointments are under my purview." Albus reasoned.

"Yes, Albus. But your appointment is under the purview of the Board of Governors. So in reality, all I need to do is have you removed so I can have Severus fired." She said sweetly.

"Minerva!" Albus said mournfully through the shock of betrayal. "Severus has my deepest trust. I assure you-"

"All that means is you are not trustworthy." Minerva said dismissively.

"We both watched you allow Severus to insult the young man and then do nothing as he moved to attack him." Filius growled angrily. "I for one will be asking Madam Bones to see if she can begin an investigation into Mr. Potter's accounts."

"Why on Earth would that be necessary?" Albus asked.

"If you can't be trusted with a young boy's health, what about his money, especially as you seemed inclined to deprive him of a family heirloom?"

"The cloak is far too precious and potentially dangerous to give to a rambunctious young man such as Mr. Potter."

"That is not your call. Additionally, I find your assessment of Mr. Potter to be highly lacking." Minerva responded.

*BANG*

Everyone turned to see an enraged Amelia Bones storm in with an equally peeved Poppy Pomfrey guiding a sombre Harry Potter carrying the Sorting Hat.

"I am launching a full investigation into the handling of Harry Potter's placement since October 31st 1981." She said as she angrily placed her fists on Dumbledore's desk and glared at the man.

Albus just sighed in resignation. "Is that really necessary? I can vouch for the people I placed him with… they were family."

"Congratulations, Albus. You have just put yourself at the top of my interrogation list as a co-conspirator." Amelia smiled evilly.

"I can also testify that I was watching the house for the entirety of the 1st of November 1981 and that I warned Mr. Dumbledore that these people were not appropriate." Minerva said with her head held high as she stared down her nose at Albus in disgust.

"Do what you must, Amelia." Dumbledore shrugged. He decided not to worry about it; he could protect himself if he needed to.

Amelia just snarled at the man.

Filius decided to try and move things along. "Perhaps we can deal with the more immediate concerns of Mr. Snape's actions. I can bring Mr. Potter to the Ministry tomorrow evening if necessary or you can visit yourself, Madam Bones."

Amelia gave a sharp nod and sat down in a conjured chair.

"I'm afraid there is nothing to talk about." Albus smiled genially. "Professor Snape is protected by blanket immunity."

"WHAT!" Came the outraged screams.

"It is necessary that he be able to maintain his cover as a spy, and sometimes that means being a little… rough."

"Is this why you allowed him to torment anyone not a Slytherin?" Minerva demanded.

"It is for the Greater Good, Minerva. Surely you can understand this?"

"No Albus, I can not! And I definitely don't support it." She shook her head sadly. "After this meeting I will be contacting the board about your actions."

"I believe Pomona and myself would appreciate being a part of that, Professor." Filius scowled at Albus.

"You have built yourself a house of cards and it is about to come tumbling down." Amelia warned.

"Excuse me, but what does this mean for Mr. Potter and his safety around… him?" Poppy asked pointing disgustedly at Snape and unable to bring herself to say his name.

"If what Mr. Dumbledore says is true then there is nothing I can do." Amelia sighed. "I might just petition to remove him and Susan from the school and have them home schooled or send them to the States or Australia. Canada might help them learn French and a second language is always good."

"You are free to remove your niece, but Mr. Potter is my charge and he will be remaining here."

"Harry, a word?" The Hat said quickly.

Harry quickly put the Hat back on his head. "So everything we wanted to achieve today is going to fail?"

"Of course not. There are two things you and I know that can help you. Now, here's what you will say…"

Eventually Harry removed the Hat with a huge smile. Albus began to worry what the Hat had told him.

"First of all, I am Lord Slytherin by Right of Conquest. This means I can select my own guardians and can control my estates… which, as Lord Slytherin, the last of the heirs of the Founders, includes Hogwarts and Hogsmede."

There were gasps of shock at this revelation.

"I need to remain a student and resident of the School in order to protect it. So I will be living here from now on. I actually own a castle! How cool is that?" Harry said in a manner that truly portrayed an excitable eleven-year-old.

"You will need to return to your Aunts home during the summer, Harry."

"Like hell, and to you it's either Mr. Potter or Lord Slytherin." Harry snapped angrily his mood switching faster than a captured Death Eater's loyalty.

"I must agree with Lord Slytherin." Amelia added. "Like hell! By the time I am finished with his 'family' they will be rotting in muggle prison… personally I am hoping to get them into Azkaban!"

"It's Mr. Potter or Harry to you!" Harry snapped at Amelia… before breaking out into a teasing smile.

Amelia was shocked at the boy but figured he must be riding high on excitement by now, it was good to see him having fun considering what she had just learnt about the last ten years of his life.

"Mr. Potter, as much as I would love to see you matriculate these halls-" Minerva had to stop as Harry raised a hand.

"What's 'matriculate'?" He asked innocently.

"Learn here." She explained with a kind smile, it was the kind of smile that Harry recalled with fondness, it was very rare to see Minerva McGonagall smile. "I fear it is too dangerous to leave you near Mr. Snape or Mr. Dumbledore."

"That's the beauty of my next two bits… although I don't agree with the first one." Harry smiled. "If Madam Bones and yourself could arrange an interview with the Daily Prophet we could seriously damage his reputation." Harry explained as he jerked a head at Albus. "Legally, as a Lord, he can't touch me. If he does the rest of the Lords out there would lynch him!"

"It's a good idea, Mr. Potter, but why do you not like it?" Filius asked.

Harry gave a nervous look at Poppy.

"Harry, I am quite capable of giving the information required without giving the details." Poppy assured him.

"What is the second thing you were going to mention, Harry?" Amelia asked, trying to redirect the conversation away from anything that would make Harry sad.

Harry grinned… it was not a pretty sight. "Did you know that Severus Snape owed my father a life debt?"

There was sharp intake of breath from the greasy haired git.

"Really? Whilst it is true that you would inherit the debt if left un-repaid, I don't see how that would help." Filius frowned.

"Yes, but what is also important to know is that there is a prophecy about me defeating Voldemort-" Harry rolled his eyes at the additional gasps. "-Severus Snape is the one who revealed the prophecy to Voldemort and brought-"

"Mr. Potter! You will say no more!" Albus said sternly as he rose from his chair and moved for his wand.

"Expelliramus!" Harry was quicker and the wand soared into his hand.

Albus was white as a sheet. "Harry-"

"Tut tut! Lord Slytherin." Harry said mockingly. The others just stood there, shocked that an eleven-year-old boy had managed to best the Great Albus Dumbledore.

"You must return my wand to me!"

"This isn't your wand." Harry shrugged before he snapped it.

"NOOOO!" Albus leapt forward but was sent flying back by five separate stunners where he hit the wall and slid to the ground in an unconscious heap.

Harry took his own wand and incinerated the remains of the wand that caused a small explosion of smoke. "And thus ends the legend of the Elder Wand." Harry said highly satisfied.

"Mr. Potter, the Elder Wand is a myth." Minerva admonished lightly.

"Nope, it was real. Dumbledore won it from Grindlewald." Harry shrugged.

"If that was the real Elder Wand, why would you destroy it?" Filius asked.

"Well, if Dumbledore could win it from Grindlewald and I could win it from Dumbledore, what's not to say that someone couldn't win it from me? This way the wand can't be used by someone bad… like Snape."

"Insolent whelp!"

"Silence Snape!" Moody spoke up at last, he had had his wand out and trained on Snape ever since Albus drew his. "I wanna hear what you were saying before Albus lost the plot." He told Harry.

"Right… erm… where was I?" Harry muttered to himself.

"Severus owes you a life debt which you inherited and he led You-Know-Who to target you." Filius supplied.

"Right! Which means that he violated a magical contract and his life is forfeit."

"You mean to kill him?" Amelia asked worriedly. As a Lord there was little she could do to stop him, but she hated to think that this young boy would do such a thing.

Severus knew much about life debts having researched them when James Potter had saved his life. He had hoped that either Dumbledore had lied to him or that he could find a loophole to allow him to escape. Ignorance was the only hope he had. So long as Potter and his family didn't know or acknowledge the debt he would be safe. Now he knew he was screwed.

"No, not kill him, but his life is now mine. Severus Tobias Snape, I, Harry James Potter claim your life as payment for the life debt you violated."

Severus screamed in pain as he fell to the ground on his knees his fingers clawing at his throat as his breathing became restricted. A ring of red light shone around his neck. And then it stopped and Severus fell to the ground in a panting heap.

"Sweet Merlin! What just happened?" Minerva gasped.

"Magic acknowledged my claim." Harry smiled. "Severus Snape is now a slave of House Potter."

"Merlin!" Amelia whispered as they all stared at the prostrate Snape.

"That does seem rather fitting." Filius grinned wickedly. "He has simply exchanged one master for another. But are you sure you are up for the responsibility?"

"I'm just going to make him do his current job with some modifications… like not being a big meanie!"

"I would suggest you let us help you plan your commands for now, Mr. Potter." Filius suggested. "I would hate for there to be a loophole for him to exploit. He cannot harm you, but he can still harm others and his actions reflect on you."

"Legally, even more so. There hasn't been a slave binding in over half a century! I doubt the laws have changed. Fortunately you don't need to inform the Ministry so we can keep this quiet." Amelia told them, still slightly dazed.

"I hate to ask this, but could you remove the knowledge of this meeting from Dumbledore's mind? He'll only keep on bugging me about how I know about things like the prophecy, I could order Snape to protect me but it will become pretty obvious I now own him."

"I believe I have the closest authority to do this." Poppy said stepping forward. "He has knowledge of private information regarding one of my underage patients, this gives me the right to remove the information."

"How do you know about the prophecy, Mr. Potter?" Minerva asked.

Harry looked at the hat wide eyed.

"Oops." It shrugged.

Harry just scowled and quickly began to think.

"It's that scar, isn't it." Poppy said sadly. "I knew it was dangerous."

Harry fought the urge to sigh in relief. "Voldemort transferred some of his memories to me when he died." It was a near perfect solution… despite the groan of the hat.

"I must insist that this be kept confidential!" The Hat exclaimed. "The last thing Hogwarts or myself wants is for Lord Slytherin to wind up as an experiment in the Department of Mysteries."

"I believe we can all agree to that." Amelia nodded slowly. "Of course this means that we can't use any of the knowledge that Mr. Potter possesses, like who the real Death Eaters are."

Harry shuddered. "They all are. You can't take the Mark unless you want it."

"Damn." She muttered. "See, now we don't have any chance of using that knowledge."

"You need to find a low level Death Eater, someone who isn't on Fudge's list of benefactors and wait for them to commit a crime." Filius suggested. "Then question them with Veritiserum and use the knowledge to reopen all the cases."

"I suppose catching Lucius Malfoy would be improbable." Minerva sighed.

"Catching him is easy, holding him is the problem. Fudge keeps bailing him out." Amelia said.

"These are all things we can discuss later. It is getting late, Severus has been neutralised but he still needs instructions." Poppy interrupted as she noticed Harry yawning.

"We also need to deal with Albus." Filius added.

"I was just going to have Snape continue as before but make sure he ensures the safety and education of his students. Also make sure he doesn't tell anyone our secrets." Harry explained.

"That would be best, but what about Albus?" Amelia asked repeated Filius' concern.

"We could just erase the whole meeting and make him believe he won the argument." Harry suggested.

"And his wand?" Filius asked with a small smile as he indicated the burnt ashes.

"Erm… he's so powerful he accidentally exploded his own wand?" He offered lamely.

"That actually might work." Poppy smiled causing everyone to look at her as if she was crazy. "It is a legitimate problem for exceptionally powerful people or people who don't take proper care of their wands." She explained.

"In that case, we will remove Albus to the Hospital Wing and wipe his memory of the event, we can then tell him that his wand exploded throwing him against the wall and he hit his head… hence the memory loss." Amelia decided.

"Snape, bring Albus and follow us." Harry ordered.

An extremely angry Severus Snape rose from the floor and obeyed. It was obvious he was not enjoying himself or operating under his own will.

"Students, assemble in the common room!"

Hearing the call from their Head of House the Slytherins quickly made their way. Usually Professor Snape didn't bother with addressing the students until the morning where he gave a short sharp speech that amounted to: "If you give me more work I will have you licking my potions classroom clean!"

"First of all, Mr. Malfoy, because of your outburst regarding Mr. Potter's sorting and heritage, you will serve two day's detentions with Professor McGonagall.

"Secondly, there will be no further bullying, intimidation or anything that resembles less than civilised behaviour towards Mr. Potter or anyone else not a Pureblood or Slytherin.

"Thirdly, anyone failing to do so will serve detentions with Mr. Hagrid cleaning up the dung from the Hippogriff herd… with their bare hands. Further infractions will lead to eventual expulsion.

"That is all. I will see you in the morning."

With that Severus Snape turned and exited the Slytherin common room leaving Harry Potter to face the horde alone.

Harry now realised that he missed a step in his instructions to his slave.

"You wait till my father hears about this!" Draco snarled snottily. "Half-bloods in Slytherin… it's an outrage and the Malfoy family won't stand for it!"

"Shut up Draco." Harry sighed. "If you have a problem, you deal with it, or aren't you man enough to handle little old me?" Harry asked innocently.

Draco bristled, his hand snapping to his wand but not drawing it. It was so quick it made Harry wonder why it seemed so natural considering students didn't get their wands till they were eleven.

"Perhaps you would like to duel, Potter?" He spat.

"Not really." Harry shrugged. Draco looked ready to crow in triumph but Harry went on. "But if that's what it takes then I'm game. After we set some conditions and stakes."

Draco looked a little worried. "Like what?"

"Well, the duel should be public… either outside or in the Great Hall. Also, the loser of the duel will leave the school." Harry was too tired to think up anything too clever, he didn't really want Draco around but he knew that he was pushing it.

Draco on the other hand was pissing his pants mentally. Those were some very high stakes, leaving the school meant attending another school in another country. He was fairly certain he could wipe the floor with Potter but it still was a big risk.

Suddenly he had an idea on how to get out of this. "You're not worth the hassle, Potter."

"Strange, Voldemort thought I was."

There were gasps and screams as Harry uttered the most feared named.

"What a bunch of losers." Harry rolled his eyes. "The idiot got himself killed by a baby and you lot are afraid of his name? Are you really telling me you are afraid of a baby?" He challenged Draco.

"Of course not!" Draco said indignantly.

"Show some respect, boy." An older boy sneered. "The Dark Lord was the Greatest Wizard alive!"

"Again… he got defeated by a baby… a baby who probably had a limited vocabulary and definitely no wand."

"B-b-but he killed all those p-p-people!" A second year girl stuttered fearfully.

"Did he? How often was Voldemort- shut up! How often was the idiot actually sighted? The way I hear it people were found the next day with the Dark Mark over their homes… all the battles that were recorded where with the Death Eaters… sounds more like he was too afraid to handle adults, when the opportunity came along to kill a baby he managed to screw that up as well!"

"You lie!" Scowled a prefect.

"We have back issues of the Prophet in the school… check them out. Not very cunning or ambitious to follow a weak, incompetent scaredy cat." Harry grinned.

"Watch your tongue Potter or I might challenge you to a duel myself!" Warned the prefect.

Harry just shrugged. "Fine by me, but you might want to reconsider. It's a lose-lose situation for you."

"Is that a threat Potter?" He demanded his hand going for his wand.

"If you beat me, you will be mocked and no one will respect you for challenging a firstie who hasn't even had a lesson yet. If I beat you, you will be shamed beyond belief for being beaten by a firstie who hasn't even had a lesson yet." Harry yawned. "'Scuse me all, been a long day. Time for bed." Harry walked past them leaving them standing there slightly confused.

"Crap… where's my room." Harry wondered.

"Psst… this way My Lord." Came a deep and foreboding whisper.

At the end of the hallway was the Bloody Baron.

"Did you just say 'psst'?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Quickly!" The ghost hissed.

Harry shrugged and followed his spectral guide. The Bloody Baron led him up a long flight of circular stairs much like the ones that led to the Headmaster's office. At the top was a portrait of a large cobra, coiled, resting in the shade of a tree in the midday sun.

"The Lord of Slytherin is not available, turn back hatchling." The snake hissed.

"Erm… I am the Lord of Slytherin by Right of Conquest." Harry offered.

"A speaker!" The snake's head rose up in surprise. It tilted its head as though listening. "Ah yes, the Great Mother acknowledges your claim, hatchling. Welcome home."

The snake lowered back to its resting state and the portrait swung open.

Severus Snape was furious! He refused to accept his enslavement and vowed to himself that he would find a way to break it. He had even drawn his wand to make a magical oath… but found he couldn't.

First it was The Dark Lord, then Dumbledore and now, worst of all, Potter was his master. It would not stand and he would see the boy dead at his feet by his hands.

He spent the better part of the night trying to concoct potions and poisons to use on the boy but his body just would not comply, it would stand there impassively as he raged impotently in his mind.

Eventually he decided to retire for the night and approach his dilemma in the morning with a fresh mind. Infuriatingly his body was once again under his control… until he decided to plot his revenge.