Hey guys! Happy late Fourth of July! I've decided to update every two weeks so that I don't have to stress out too much about posting another oneshot when I don't feel like it's ready. Anyways, here's the next one. Enjoy!

Percy tries to read the shopping list in his hand while holding his two year old, Toby, in his other arm and somehow pushing the shopping cart along with his elbow.

Unfortunately, this proves to be extremely difficult as Toby seems to have inherited more from his father than just his physical appearance: apparently he also inherited Percy's uncanny knack of somehow causing trouble wherever he went. In the thirty minutes they've been in the convenience store, Toby had been chased by a yowling cat and its owner (I mean what do you expect when you pull a cat's tail?), spilt blue glitter glue in his raven hair, and scribbled across his face with so many markers that it looked like a rainbow had thrown up on him.

And yet, even after all the trouble Toby had caused, when Percy looked at the little boy (whose face was still covered with marker streaks) sitting on the ground smiling up at him and saw Toby's wide sea green sparkling with such child-like innocence and happiness, Percy just couldn't find it in himself to be angry with him. Instead, Percy just smiled back, ruffled Toby's hair, and scooped him up in his arms just to make sure he wouldn't cause any more trouble.

This brings us back to the list reading.

IADEPRS? DPAIRES? SREPIAD? "Oh I give up."

Percy stops pushing the cart and groans in frustration, slapping the hand that is holding the shopping list to forehead. His dyslexia was not making this easy.

As the shopping list slides off Percy's face, Toby lets out a peal of laughter at his father's antics. Percy lifts an eyebrow playfully.

"You think this is funny, do you?" he asks the little boy. Toby continues to giggle, and Percy lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"Well, you're asking for it," Percy says and with that, he sets Toby on the handle bar of the shopping cart and begins to tickle him fiercely. Toby's giggles turn into loud shouts of laughter as he tries unsuccessfully to wriggle out of his father's grasp. Percy begins to laugh too, and by the time he stops tickling Toby, he feels much better.

Scooping up the list from the ground, he huffs slightly and says to himself, "Okay, Perce. Let's do this. It's the last one, then done."

DASIPER? DIASPER? DIAPERS? "DIAPERS!" he exclaims with such enthusiasm that Toby (who is still sitting on the shopping cart's handle bar) starts clapping with his tiny little hands.

"Thank you. Thank you," Percy says in his best ringmaster's voice and bows multiple times as if bowing to a crowd. He then places the now useless shopping list in the cart, picks up Toby and places him on his shoulder, and then starts running while pushing the cart.

"Off to the diaper section!"

"Whoa. That's a lot of diapers."

Percy pushes the cart slowly through the diaper section with Toby still on his shoulder. Both the boys' mouths are open, their sea green eyes bulging, just trying to take in the sheer number of diaper packages there are.

"Not even Costco has these many," Percy states.

Half way through the ginormous aisle, Percy finally gets over his shock, stops, and then asks Toby, "Alright, what kind of diapers do you wear?"

Of course, Toby doesn't answer as he doesn't know how to speak yet. His vocabulary solely consists of mama, dada, horsey, and no!

"Should I ask your mom?" Percy asks Toby, even though he's actually just thinking out loud. Toby makes a gurgling sound which Percy takes as a response (even though he knows it's probably not).

"Nah. You're right. Annabeth'd probably just yell at me. Something like, 'Percy, this is our fourth child, and you still don't know what kind of diapers we use? You truly are a Seaweed Brain.'" (He said the last part in a terrible impression of his wife.)

Percy sighs. "Alright, let's just keep walking, and we'll stop when we see something that looks right."

And they continue to wander down the aisle.

"I think that's it, Toby!" Percy exclaims as he points a section of orange and teal diaper packages. He then starts running towards the packages (Toby still balanced on his shoulder) the way movie couples run towards each other in those sappy rom-coms (with the slow motion and music and everything).

Just as Percy is about to grab a package and run off happily into the sunset with it, a huge telkhine steps in front of him and roars loudly, spraying spit all over his face.

Instead of freaking out like he probably should, Percy just slides a hand over his face to clean off the spit and says, "Dude, chill. If you want those diapers so bad, just take them. No need to be so rude."

The telkhine looks at him, puzzled. "Diapers? I don't want diapers. I want a snack! And what a perfect snack you'll be, demigod!"

Percy sighs almost boredly, as if he's done this a million times (most probably because he has fought monsters a million times – or what seems like a million times). "Let's get over with this quickly, yeah? I've got to get home by 6 or Annabeth will get mad. And let me tell you, she's a thousand times more terrifying than you are when she's angry."

And with that, he takes out Riptide and uncaps it, ready to fight. But, instead of attacking him, the telkhine just stares at Riptide with what seems like shock and… terror?

"Um, you okay?" Percy asks the telkhine, confused, then mentally face palms himself. Great going, Percy. Asking the monster that wants to attack you whether or not he's okay. How stupid can you get?

"You. You're Percy Jackson," the telkhine states with fear and a little bit of awe as he started to back away.

"The one and only," Percy replies.

"Please don't hurt me. I'm a good pup, I swear it. I'll only eat one demigod a week, I promise. No, I won't eat any demigods ever again. I promise, okay? I promise," the telkhine rambles on backing away further and further down until he reaches the end aisle.

"Great…" Percy says, even more confused than ever.

"Okay, bye!" the telkhine says and then sprints away like his life depended on it.

"Make sure you keep that promise!" Percy yells after him.

"What do you think that was about?" Percy asks Toby (who had been sitting on his shoulder throughout the whole exchange). The little boy just shrugs his shoulders.

"Well then," Percy says as he grabs a pack of diapers and places it in the shopping cart. "Wanna go get some ice cream?"

I was just thinking that after everything Percy's done (saving the world multiple times, defeating Kronos, etc.) he must've developed quite a name for himself. And in these oneshots, he is older and has probably even more incredible things, so I would be surprised if monsters weren't a little bit scared of him because he's just that awesome :D Anyways, don't forget to comment, favorite, and follow! See you next time!