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It's been a while, but I'm back with another chapter. I'll be updating this more than ever this year.

The kids pulled up outside of Olaf's house and immediately the kids were filled with disgust. Although their new neighbor's home was in a very clean and well kept area filled with a beautiful home and yard, Olaf's was the ugliest. The grass looked dry as the Sahara, there were glass bottles and other pieces of trash in the yard, and the bricks that made up the house were covered in grime and soot. The house only had two windows on it as well which was weird. Who had had such a large home with only two windows? The door had paint peeling off of it and the rest of the color was badly faded. It had an eye carved into the upper part of the door. Behind the house was a tower that was so crooked one wondered how on earth it stayed up.

"Uh are you sure you have the right address?" Violet asked Poe as they stood outside of the yard. The children hoped not. The house they lived in didn't have to be lavish or even be that large. It just had to be habitable. The homeowner, just by looking at the place, didn't seem to like caring for his yard and it was possible the inside was dirty as well. Speaking of the person, who was their guardian anyways? Poe had told them a little bit about the man, but it wasn't a good enough picture to tell what he was like. Maybe he was so busy acting that he neglected his home so they couldn't go off the house alone. Hopefully the inside was far better.

"I'm sure...I think..." Poe didn't seem to know himself. "I'd better make sure I have the right address."

They went over to the next door neighbor's home which was far prettier than their future guardian's home. The bricks had been cleaned very well, and through the wide and open windows one could see an assortment of well-groomed plants. Standing in the doorway, with her hand on the shiny brass doorknob, was an older woman, smartly dressed, who was smiling at the children. In one hand she carried a flowerpot and the other hand held a watering can.

"Oh hello!" She smiled warmly at the children. "You must be the children Count Olaf is adopting!"

Violet nodded. "Yes. My name is Violet and this is my brother Klaus and our sister Sunny. That's Mr. Poe. He's been arranging things for us ever since our parents died."

"I heard about that. I'm sorry to hear that happened. I'm Justice Strauss."

"Your first name is Justice?" That was a pretty stupid fucking name. Then again he couldn't talk. His name was Klaus. He was lucky nobody called him Santa. Hopefully nobody would when he got old.

"Oh no no," She shook her head. "That's my title. I'm a judge in the High Court."

"Cool!" said Violet. She hadn't met a judge before. "Are you and Count Olaf friends?"

As much as the kids were eager to find out more about the man through his neighbor, the woman admitted they hardly knew each other. "We just live beside each other."

"In that house there?" Violet pointed to Olaf's nasty house. When she nodded the kids fought back a loud groan while Sunny just said oh.

"Well I better get back to my gardening," she said gesturing to her flowerpot. "Maybe one day you kids can come over and help out."

"That would be nice," said Violet. It would be. Justice Strauss had such a lovely yard and home while the three had to live in that thing that barely resembled one. Was it even livable for the three of them? They hoped the "Don't judge a book by its cover" saying was right and the house looked much better on the inside.

The four headed over to Olaf's home and the oldest Baudelaire knocked on the door. A few seconds later, a tall, thin man with a unibrow, shiny eyes, an unshaven face, and had on a dirty suit. What disturbed the children the most was the evil, shit eating grin that spread across his face as he looked over each one of them. "Hello there. You must be the children. Violet, Klaus, and little Sunny."

When he said Sunny's name, he pinched her cheek. Sunny hated when people did that and she sure as hell didn't like this fucker doing it. His fingers felt grimy and they smelled funny. If he did that again, she was going to bite his fingers off. "Please step into your new home, and wipe your feet outside so no mud gets indoors."

Once they all stepped into the house, they found what he said to be absolute bullshit. The house was beyond dirty and any mud that would have been brought in wouldn't have made a difference. The floor looked like it hadn't moped in years, rotten apple cores were in a bowl on the table, and there was the most raggedy lion head hanging on the wall. Mr. Poe complimented the place by saying how wonderful it was causing the children to look at him in disbelief. Surely he could see how much of a dump this place was! The place looked like a health hazard!

"It is, but it could use a bit more polishing," sighed the count.

"Flickle!" shouted Sunny. "This house is fucking nasty!"

"Polishing isn't the word," mumbled the oldest child. This house would be better off being blown up and be completely replaced. How could this man stand leaving in this filthy house?

"With the children's fortune, maybe..." He began.

"Oh no no no!" coughed the banker into his handkerchief. "That is not to be touched until Violet is 18."

Count Olaf's smile dropped faster than your dad's pants on his wedding night. "Excuse me?"

"The children's parents' will states that Violet gets the fortune when she turns 18," He explained before going back into a fit of coughing. He really needed to see a doctor about all that coughing. (1) "Maybe once she turns of age, she'll give you some as thanks for caring for her and her siblings."

"No," Violet said flatly. No way was she giving this filthy creature a pinch of her money. If he was a count and such a grand actor like Poe said, surely he could get someone to clean his filthy home.

Olaf looked as if he wanted to slap Poe across the face and possibly beat the crap out of him. He then slowly let his lips curl back into a smile. "How wonderful for the children then. I would hate for the money to be misused in any kind of way."

"Of course," Poe looked down at his pocket watch. "Well I must be off. Banking business and whatnot. Please, children, come get the rest of your things before I see you off."

Once the children begrudgingly grabbed their things and took them into the house, Poe told them good-bye. However the children were anything but ready to go.

"Please don't leave us!" said Klaus. "We don't wanna go!"

"No goo-ba!" whined Sunny as she reached out for the banker. "Don't leave us!"

Poe started to feel bad for leaving them now. The poor things had gotten attached to him! If he could, he'd adopt them. Sadly their parents already had people in mind for whom the children had to go to. He gave them all tearful, heartfelt hugs before seeing them all off. He promised to visit and occasionally call to check up on them, but that wasn't good enough. They'd much rather be with the Poes!

After watching the car drive away, they went into the house to put away their things. Much to their horror, their bedroom was on top floor and they shared an old, dusty bed. They couldn't share a bed together and not this old dusty thing. A few springs were already popping out of the sides and the cover looked as if it had just been dragged out of the basement after it had been sitting in there for a few centuries. There wasn't even a crib for Sunny so one of her siblings wouldn't roll on top of her.

"After you three get settled in, get in the kitchen so you can cook dinner," said Olaf before shutting the door.

"What?" Klaus turned to his oldet sister. "Did he just say we have to cool?"

"Yeah," Violet frowned. One would think their new caretaker would cook for them not the other way around. "Next thing you know, he'll want us to clean up this dirty ass house."

"Noba!" scowled Sunny. "I bet this fool doesn't bathe!"

"Me too!" agreed Klaus. "I bet his breath is hot and smells like ass cheeks too!"

"Let's just get this over with," said Violet as she began putting away her clothes in one drawer. "Maybe he's tired or something."

"He better cook for us next time!"

After putting away their things, they went downstairs and boy are they in for a surprise.

(1) Poe coughs a lot in the books. I don't remember if they ever stated what was wrong with him, but I know it never gets fixed. Then again I'd rather have someone who coughs a lot than someone whose a dumbass and doesn't listen to a word I say.