Disclaimer: I do not own anything Fifty Shades related. It all belongs to EL James.

A/N: This is a repost of a story I had up a while back and is the sequel to Lost. Enjoy.

"Ana, good morning."

Ana entered the office, gave Dr. Flynn what was, by now, her customary tight smile, and sat in one of the leather couches. Flynn crossed the room to sit in his armchair with his notepad and pen, and gave her his customary genuine, friendly smile. So far, Flynn was the only person she'd encountered from her "old life," as she'd taken to calling it, that always seemed pleased to see her and didn't harbor any bitterness towards her for what she'd done a year ago. Though, she admitted sardonically, he was being paid one hell of a fee to hold back that bitterness... Still, it was comforting.

"Morning, Dr. Flynn," she said quietly. "How's Rhian?"

"She's well," Flynn said warmly. "I'll tell her you were asking after her." He paused a moment, posing pen over paper. "How are you, Ana?"

She sighed. Always the tough questions, John... "All right, I suppose."

Flynn nodded and he very briefly pursed his lips in what she thought might be disappointment. She'd been giving him the same answer without fail for two weeks. "How are you sleeping?"

"Fitfully," she said dully. "Tossing and turning a lot. Waking up every few hours."

"Nightmares?"

She nodded, staring down at her fingers.

"Shall we discuss them?"

"They haven't changed," she whispered, still not looking up at him. Her eyes filled with tears every time she thought of the nightmares. She and Flynn had dissected every detail of every one of them, and the only result she'd seen for that so far was more nightmares.

"So, no?" Flynn checked wryly. She shook her head. "Okay. How's Teddy?"

Ana finally smiled genuinely at him. "He's great," she said sincerely. "So sweet and so funny. He doesn't seem to resent me for leaving..."

"Well, small children like Teddy don't really know anything about feelings like resentment. It's something we learn as we grow, typically from being hurt over and over," Flynn said matter-of-factly.

"That I know," Ana muttered. "Christian's a master at it."

Flynn straightened up a little more in his chair. "Christian," he said quietly. "How are things between the two of you?"

Ana laughed bitterly. "Horrible," she said bluntly. "He's barely spoken to me in weeks. He keeps me at arm's length. I can't even tell you the last time he looked me in the eye."

"Have you tried insisting the two of you have a holiday together, just the two of you?"

"Yes," she said sadly. "He always makes excuses of having to work longer hours or entertain visiting business partners, or that he doesn't want to leave Teddy... It's almost like he doesn't even want to try to fix us."

Flynn scribbled something in his notepad. "Have you tried just talking to him, telling him how you're feeling?"

Ana gave him a don't-be-stupid look. "Of course I have. Whenever I bring any of it up, it ends in an argument. He's not even sharing our bed anymore. He claims he comes to bed after I'm asleep and gets up before I wake, but the guestroom bed is always unmade when I've checked. I almost wonder why I bothered to come back if this is what I'm going to have to endure for the rest of my life."

Flynn gave her an admonishing look, but didn't comment.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," she said tiredly. "I know I can't expect to just walk back into this wonderful life I had a year ago and have things be exactly as they were. Everything is different, especially with me and Christian. And I know you can't say anything since you're treating him as well as me, but..." she trailed off, biting her lip. "Has he at least been talking to you?"

Flynn sighed, seemingly debating what he was going to tell her. "Yes," he finally said. "He's been very forthcoming about what he's going through."

"And I suppose you can't tell me anything," she said.

"As a doctor, no," he told her bluntly. "Doctor/patient confidentiality and all that. As a friend, however..." He hesitated as she looked up eagerly, silently begging for some small clue to her husband's psyche. "I don't think I need to tell you how horrible the last year was for him, Anastasia. For a few months, he stopped coming to see me." This wasn't news to her; Kate had told her this. "He refused my calls, refused my visits, even though they were purely friendly in nature. I believe it was Christian's brother Elliot and your mother-in-law that finally managed to get him back here. All I can tell you about how he's currently feeling is that he's afraid."

Ana's mouth dropped open slightly. "Afraid..." she said, testing the word.

"Yes," Flynn replied. "He's lost you once. He's gotten you back. He's angrier than I think he's ever been in his life, and that anger is directed at a multitude of people, including you to a degree. Christian is afraid that if he doesn't keep you at arm's length until he's managed to get his anger under control that he'll either chase you off again or hurt you. Some of his anger is directed inwardly; he feels inadequate and lost. Much like you, Christian has many issues to work through. And with time, I do believe you both will come out on the other side happy and together. Patience, Ana. You will get through to him."

Ana sighed and shook her head minutely. She and Dr. Flynn had been having this same discussion for the two weeks that she'd been seeing him. So far none of his suggestions had done anything but annoy Christian, even though she was certain Flynn had been telling him the same things in regards to her. The only conclusion she'd been able to make was that either Christian truly wasn't ready to get past the last year or his wife had fucked up so thoroughly that he couldn't find it in himself to forgive her, but he still didn't have the heart to kick her out of the house.

Half an hour later, Ana left her session with Dr. Flynn feeling like she did after every other one: bemused, slightly cheated, and just as lost as ever.

Christian stood in his study, back to the door as he stared out the window at the gray, dreary, rainy Washington day. He'd intended to spend the entirety of the day at work finalizing negotiations before he and Ros flew to Taiwan next week. This deal had been six months in the making and they were so close to closing. But of course, as had been the case since Anastasia had come home, he'd been unable to focus on his work. Ros had been understanding about it so far, telling him to go home and relax with his family, but it couldn't possibly be much longer before she became just as fed up with his behavior has he himself had become.

He just couldn't seem to shake his wandering thoughts. Everything was jumbled and confused in his mind. He was happy to have his wife home, elated actually, but at the same time, every time he looked at her or thought about touching her, all he could think of was that he was no longer the only man who had been with her. He thought he'd come to terms with what had happened between Jack Hyde and Ana, and he thought understood what she said her reasoning was, but whenever he attempted to make things right again, something held him back. It could have been her, it could have been him, or it could have been a combination of the both of them. They somehow managed to play happy-couple in public or around their son, smiling at each other, holding hands. Christian even kissed his wife briefly over the weekend; he still couldn't get the thought of Ana's entire body stiffening in shock as their lips met for that few seconds. Afterwards, Ana hadn't been able to meet his eyes; if she had, she'd have seen the longing and the desperation he'd felt to get back to normal. And he was certain her body language had told him that she was disappointed to have lost that contact with him as well.

"This is so fucked," he muttered under his breath, running his hands roughly through his hair. A moment later he stiffened, catching movement behind him reflected in the window. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before addressing her. "I thought you had an appointment with Dr. Flynn?"

Ana sighed warily. "I did," she told him quietly. "Just got back."

He nodded and turned to face her, and sucked in a surprised gasp. It looked as though she'd been crying. Again. This certainly wasn't the first time he'd seen her like this, and every time, his first instinct was to go to her, hold her, comfort her, then find and beat the hell out of whoever had made her cry. Problem was he was pretty certain he was one of the biggest reasons for her tears. "How'd it go?" he asked softly, crossing his arms.

She shrugged, mirroring his posture. "Same as always."

He nodded again, this time in disappointment. This was the only answer she'd given him over the last two weeks. Then again, it was the only answer he'd given her after his own sessions with Flynn.

"Thought you were working all day?" she asked tentatively.

"Finished early," he lied. "I was considering taking Teddy out on the boat, but..." He gestured uselessly at the window, clearly showing it was not good boating weather.

"Oh," she said awkwardly, looking down at her feet. Her brow furrowed and she looked as though she wanted to say something. After a moment, however, she shook her head minutely and looked back up, a fake smile in place. "Well, I think I'll go have some lunch. Teddy's playing with his legos in the living room and watching cartoons."

Christian nodded. "I'll be down in a little while," he told her. She gave him another smile that was more of a grimace than anything, then turned on her heel and started off down the hallway. He called out to her before he lost his nerve again. "Ana." She turned back to him again, a look on her face so hopeful that all he wanted to do was take her in his arms, take her to bed, and lose himself in her. But again, the wall was back in place. Fuck... "Don't forget. There's a fundraising dinner at my parents' on Friday night."

He then closed his eyes to avoid seeing the disappointment and hurt on her face. "Right," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "I remember."

When his eyes opened, she was gone.

Nice one, Grey. Back in high school, are we, with the inability to talk to a girl, even though she's your fucking wife?

Half an hour later, after inwardly berating himself for his recent behavior, Christian decided to make his way downstairs for a bite of lunch. Four years ago, there never would have been any hesitation about what he would do in regards to Anastasia. He'd have taken her into his playroom, taken out a bit of frustration and anger and pain on her, then he would have fucked her into oblivion, and afterwards, they'd have had a thorough discussion about everything. But he'd changed since Teddy had been born. He no longer considered himself a Dom, at least not seriously, and he knew that no matter how therapeutic it might be, he couldn't make these issues go away with spankings and punishment fucks.

He found his wife and son in the living room, drawn to them by Teddy's infectious giggle. They were seated on the floor in front of the television where some cartoon was playing quietly in the background while they built what looked to be a helicopter out of legos. He leaned against the doorframe, hands tucked in his pockets, and just watched them. There had been no hesitation on Teddy's part to welcome Ana back into his life. He'd been a little shy to begin with, as he was with people he didn't really know, but it had only taken Ana tickling him and making him laugh before he began treating his mother the way he did Christian. They played together, Ana read stories to him before tucking him in for the night, did all the things a mother and son would do together. Much as he didn't want to admit it, there had been times over the last few weeks when Christian was quite jealous of his son. It had all been so easy for the little boy—there was no resentment, no anger, no loss of trust. In fact, Teddy hadn't ever seemed happier.

Christian sighed audibly, drawing the attention of his son. "Daddy!" he said happily, reaching out to very carefully pick up the lego creation he and his mother were building. "Look, it's Charlie Tango!"

Ana glanced up at him nervously, smiling at Teddy's eagerness. When her eyes met Christian's, he felt the longing between them and had to swallow hard to subdue his wanting of her. "Very good, Teddy," he praised, pushing off the wall and crossing the room. He sat down on the floor with his family, keeping a bit of distance between himself and Ana, and he felt rather than saw her entire demeanor change. Her breathing had become shallow, her pupils dilated, and her cheeks and neck were slightly flushed. It took every ounce of self-control not to give in to her silent pleas for him to drag her back up the stairs. To distract himself, he reached into the pile of legos and picked out a few thinner pieces, explaining to Teddy what the rotors on helicopters did. Every so often, his eyes darted out towards Anastasia, seeing her eyes darting away from him as she tried to control her breathing. He spotted her biting her lip and managed to bite back a groan. Over and over, he had to remind himself that tackling his wife to the ground and having his way with her in front of their son would only traumatize and scar him for life.

Fuck. It's going to be a long day...