Another Chapter? Wait till my father hears about this! Well what are you doing Mud-Bloods! Go and read. Hmm. Where's Potter?

I do not own Fairy Tail. Or Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake. They belong to Hiro Mashima and J. K. Rowling respectively.

I would also like to mention that this chapter gets a bit mature. No Lemons or weird stuff, but mentions of things like that, and magazines and bathroom hygene. And then a depressed Jellan and Gray... You'll see...

Location: Still at Laxus' bachelor pad, but the girls are here now. So it's more of Laxus' communal social zone.

"Okay, I really don't want to sit anywhere you and Card Captor Sakura fucked, so let's just sit on the window seat." Ever stated pretty awkwardly, with a little hint of discust.

"Actually, if I'm being honest..." Laxus started, but was cut off when Ever jumped up out of the seat and screamed a bit

"IT'S A WINDOW! A MOTHER F****** WINDOW! FOR GOD'S SAKE LAXUS!" Evergreen said, obviously disappointed in the man. "Why are we even here? I thought master wanted us to keep them seperate for a while?"

"You already forgot? Levy figured out how to use the Steel arm thingy Scrap Metal does and started beating Elfman to a pulp. And Lucy was blazing like an inferno so even I was hot. And now the powers out at Fairy Hills because somebody got sparky." Gray snapped back at the obviously pissed Evergreen, sassily.

"I said I was sorry! Geez, it's not like you have to live there Gray!" Cana commented from her place on Laxus' lap, huffing like a little kid whose been told no.

"I may not have to live there, but Juvia does! And whenever there's something wrong at Fairy Hills, she comes to me. To my house. My sanctum. And i have to spend a week of my life waking up to see her wrapped around me, and plushies of myself dotted around the room! I can't shower without her watching me, and she always gives me a body pillow of her for letting her stay. I have about four now! And then there was that time where we got drunk and kissed a bit, then I stripped and we had se- Holy shit I said that out loud didn't I. You heard nothing. And Mira will not hear anything either!" Gray seemed to rant out all of his pent up thoughts and confessions about Juvia living with him in one long ass drawl.

"I'm really not sure what I heard there, but I think I know why Juvia's been so happy lately..." Lucy seemed to shudder at the sudden feeling of knowing that two of her closest friends were fucking each other. Then she realised she wasn't exactly in a position to judge them ever again. So she Let It Go.

"Wait where did Erza and Jellal go?" Someone suddenly bought up and everyone went quiet until the three Dragon Slayers spoke up.

"Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, the man sticks his-"

"Okay, that's enough of the talk Laxus. Gramps did talk to each and everyone of us about it. Basically what he's trying to say is they've gone to get some alone time. If you know what I mean..." Natsu butted in to Laxus explanation.

"Really? Erza and Jellal? I didn't see that one coming!" Someone commented. But apparently talking about relationships and Fairy Tail Mages summoned the Devil, The She-Devil. MiraJane Strauss.

"Hehe, didn't see that coming? Bitch please, I've known since the Paradise Tower arc." Mira smirked, climbing in through the window. Which was scary in itself, since the bachelor pad was the penthouse property and was about ten stories up.

"And don't think your out of the dog house either Gray. I heard EVERYTHING. You and me are going to have a 'little chat' later and your going to spill every detail." She smirked at the petrified Ice Mage before swooping across the room to where the three pregnant girls were.

"I'm going to say this once and once only. DIBS ON BEING GODMOTHER!" She hugged each of the girls in turn, and then turned to the boys.

"If you ever do something that STUPID and RECKLESS EVER again. I will PERSONALLY tear you LIMB FROM MOTHER FUCKING LIMB. M'kay?" She giggled slightly at the horrified looks on their faces, and then picked up on the snorts from Elfman.

"Oh, you think that's funny do you, little bro? I know your dirty little secret. I'm pretty sure Ever would just LOVE to know what you have hiding beneath your bed..."

"Onee-chan! NOOO!" Elfman pleaded and begged but to no avail.

"Ah, but I think she would be entertained by your choice of Porno, little bro. Glasses weekly was it? Oh and then there's that spread in the Sorcerrer's Weekly that Ever did that you still have... Tehehehee..."

"WHAT! ELFMAN, EXPLANATION! NOW!" Ever demanded from the large hunk of Man.

"Umm...Err... You see... I was just...I've got nothing. HAVING PICTURE'S OF EVERGREEN IS MANLY!" He screamed swelling with pride at saying such a strange thing.

Meanwhile, in Evergreen land, the woman herself smirked to himself. 'Yes! This is all apart of my six month plan! Hwahahahha!' On the outside, she just blushed a bit, crossed her arms and looked sternly away.

"Freed! All of these other couples are getting lovey-dovey, and they're not even dating yet! When are you going to sweep me off my feet?" Mira had finally turned her head to her boyfriend of three months.

"I-I-I-I thought we w-were taking things s-s-s-slow to start wi-with..." The green haired man stumbled over his words at the sudden proxemity of his girlfriend. She had pushed herself to wrap herself around his arm and push her boobs against his chest. The mans face turned so instantly red thathe went darker than Erza's hair, and almost passes out.

"Well then. I'm demanding that we speed things up. I want thirty children Freed. And that certainly isn't going to magically appear. You have a lot of work to do, so you better start ASAP." Mira pouted. Something suddenly cracked in Freed, and his usual gentlemanly state had flipped as he hauled Mira up into his arms and jumped out of the window, running off into the sunset with the white haired barmaid.

"Well. That escalated quickly..." Natsu commented after a moment of silence. A few giggles broke through but everything quickly went back to silence, until Erza and Jellal stumbled out of the bathroom, wlking funnule with their hair and clothes messed up a bit.

"What did we miss guys?" Jellal asked noticing the awkward silence.

"Well, while you and Erza were having your monthly Fuck Fest, the girls arrived, Gray admitted to fucking Juvia, Mira turned up and told us all about Elfman's porn stash and she called dibs on being the godmother to the three fetus'. Then she complained to Freed about him being frigid, and pouted a bit. After that she mentioned wanting THIRTY kids, and Freed jumped out of the window, carrying her away so that THEY could go and have a fuck fest as well. Any questions?"

Bixslow had been so quiet the whole time, suddenly burst out with this large explanation of the happenings of the last thirty minutes before nodding to everyone and walking out of the room, mumbling something about Lisanna.

The room was once again quiet before everyone started questioning Jellal and Erza.

"So, Jellal, D'ya use a condom?"

"Yes. I'm not a complete idiot like you three."

"Did you clean my bathroom afterwards? Because I swear if I go in there and I can see your load I'm gonna jack you up."

"It's clean so don't worry."

"How big was it?" Lucy had asked Erza, and the room went quiet in anticipation.

"Bigger than Gray's, smaller than Natsu's." She answered quickly, leaving both Jellal and Gray depressed and the rest of the room pissing themselves...