hello, fellow readers! i am back! i couldn't resist myself after watching the last two episodes. all the looks that rachel kept giving quinn. they're just too much. and i just have to write this. fair warning: it's pretty angsty.

read, ponder and try to enjoy.


You're too late.

Her subconscious screamed at her. Rachel suppressed the voice and squeezed her eyes shut. Then she opened them to see Quinn walking in with another boy in tow. He was dressed in a full-piece suit. She didn't even need anyone to tell her who that boy was. She just knew.

"Guys, this is Biff, my boyfriend."

They could barely hear her since they were all busy hanging among themselves and catching up on old times. But Rachel heard her perfectly.


You're too late.

Ever since she'd come back and saw Quinn, that voice had never shut up and Rachel had to fight the urge to bang her head against the wall just to shut it up.

She squirmed in her seat as she watched The Unholy Trinity perform Toxic. She clenched her thighs tighter and swallowed. Previously, before she'd had sexual experiences, she wouldn't have understood what being turned on means. But now, she perfectly understood the concept. And she realized that she'd experienced this a dozen times before whenever she watched Quinn perform.

And she wondered to herself how she could be so oblivious.

She cast a surreptitious glance at the boyfriend and nearly toppled over when she saw him texting when his girlfriend was performing what could be the hottest number she'd ever performed. What the hell was up with this guy? Rachel gave him a full survey and concluded that he must've been one of those preppy kids who didn't even know what being in public school felt like.

Then she noticed Puck glaring at the preppy boy as well from the piano. And she understood instantly. Her breath caught and she turned back to watching The Unholy Trinity. She felt her blood rushing in her veins. She heard her heart pounding.

And not in a good way.


You're too late.

She ignored that voice as her eyes stayed on Quinn as Santana told her the truth about her Prom Queen nomination last year. She knew something was fishy. She just couldn't figure out what.

Quinn couldn't look her in the eyes as Santana went ranting off about some rubbish. Her eyes narrowed at the blonde and when Santana was done, Rachel gave her a piece of her mind before she ran out of the choir room and into the bathroom.

She cried for her own obliviousness. She cried for her own blindness. She cried for the fact that she could be so ignorant of all the signs all those years back then when Quinn had been trying so hard to get her to notice.


You're too late.

"Motherf-" she stopped herself and clenched her jaw. She leaned against the bus and closed her eyes, inhaling and exhaling as if she was taking breathing exercises. "Shut up," she then muttered.

She was planning on going back in the building when she heard noises from where the dumpster was located. She frowned and crept in that direction. She paused when she saw Puck's silhouette stalking towards there. She pursed her lips and followed, but stopped at the corner as she watched Quinn begging her boyfriend and Puck watching.

"—just a dirty slutbag."

Rachel muffled her laugh with her hand when Quinn clipped the boy's lean nose with her knuckles and he keeled over, wailing in pain. She would have kept laughing if it wasn't for the suddenness of Puck surging forward and punching Biff in the face. And it broke out into a full brawl. She wanted to help Quinn diffuse the situation before Puck threw the boy in the dumpster.

Then Puck started yelling at her for the whole friendship thing and about how Quinn was better than Biff and Rachel couldn't help but approve even though she knew this all wouldn't turn into her favor. Not that anything was in her favor to start with.

Then Puck stalked in her direction and she had no time to hide herself. He gave her a curt nod on his way out and then he just walked away. Rachel stared at Quinn's back for a moment and decided she should leave Quinn and Biff alone to talk things out.


You're too late.

She never thought she'd hate her inner voice so much. She used to appreciate her inner voice. It used to encourage her and motivate her. But now it was just mocking her.

She saw Quinn walk into the boys' locker room and frowned. What would Quinn be doing in the boys' locker room? She headed towards the door and opened it to see Quinn standing with Puck as they gazed at Finn's framed jersey hanging on the wall.

Rachel's heart was immediately filled with melancholy. She'd missed her first love. Finn Hudson was her first love though Rachel had actually come to the realization that her love for Finn wasn't actually that kind of love people talked about. He was still her first love though. But she knew now that her love for someone else was more than the kind of love she'd seen those married couples had.

She stepped back a little, ready to leave the two of them alone when,

"'Cause I know who my soulmate is."

Rachel's eyes widened and an inaudible gasp escaped her lips. She frowned and pinched her nose. Her eyes were welling up. She released a breath and closed the door gently. She couldn't bear it anymore. She couldn't listen anymore.

She wasn't spared the agony though when she later saw Quinn chasing Puck in the hallway and then they were kissing.


You're too late.

She'd learned to ignore the voice. Ignore it. She ordered herself. What else could she do? She couldn't stop it. That voice came and went whenever it liked.

She watched Quinn and Puck dancing lovingly out of the corner of her eyes while she sang. She forced back the tears. She suppressed the ache in her heart. She focused on singing. Because this would be the last song she'd ever sing in this choir room. And she truly would miss these people.

Because she didn't stand a chance. Not anymore.


You're too late.

Oh, sweet merciful Lord. She had to pull through watching Quinn and Puck singing Just Give Me a Reason. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and made herself watch. She should suffer. She deserved this.

Quinn had sat through more than a dozen of her performances with Finn and she'd kept her mouth shut and she'd smile and grin and laugh and she never said a word. Only Rachel was too blind to see the signs. Now, she should give Quinn the same courtesy. Quinn deserved that much.

She turned her head once and she saw Brittany eying her with that enigmatic look of hers whenever she was thinking about something. Rachel swiftly turned back to the pair in front of them and ignored the burning gaze of one Brittany S. Pierce.

Rachel gulped and smiled and clapped when they were done performing. She kept clapping as they kissed. Quinn did the same thing for god knows how many times when they were still studying in this school. Then she kept her mouth shut and only smiled as Quinn made a speech about her feelings for Puck and then Santana had to indirectly apply salt to her wounds by saying she liked this pairing.

Rachel scoffed inwardly. She'd reinforced this pairing in the bathroom last year.


You're too late.

"I donated the eggs!"

Rachel chuckled and snuggled into Kurt's side as she watched from video clip. She avoided Quinn and Puck whispering to each other in the far corner of the room.


You're too late.

She invited Quinn out for coffee before they leave for their respective homes. She could feel her face lit up when the blonde came in the door in a dress and a coat. Rachel stood up and handed Quinn her drink and they sat down again.

"You know my drink order," Quinn commented with a smile.

"You told me once."

Then they talked. They talked about Yale. They talked about NYADA. They talked about their lives in New Haven and in New York. They talked about everything. Rachel found out that the reason Quinn didn't come home for Finn's memorial was because she had pneumonia that week and she had to stay at the hospital.

"You know, once upon a time, I had feelings for you that are more than platonic," Quinn confessed with a sheepish smile. Rachel's heart leaped. "But that's all over now. So don't feel creeped out. I'm with Puck now and I'm happy with Puck."

Rachel's heart dropped to her stomach. She plastered on a grin and leaned forward to give Quinn a long hug. "Promise me you'll visit me in New York sometime," she whispered.

Quinn nodded and patted her back. "Of course."

Half an hour later, Quinn had to leave because she had a date night with Puck. Rachel bade her goodbye, making her promise one more time. Then she sat at the table, staring blankly at her empty cup.

A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another. And then she was weeping. Eventually, someone was wrapping their arms around her and soothing her and she looked up to see Brittany hugging her and Santana sitting in the seat Quinn had occupied just now. They looked at her knowingly.

Rachel buried her face in Brittany's sweater and cried.


You're too late.

I know.


can you believe this will probably be the last time we get to see the originals all together like this again? i cried so hard during dsb. i feel like this is the end of glee for me. i don't think i'll be watching glee anymore after this. it will just feel too weird after this. anyway, how about you review and tell me what you think? also, i warned you.