Okay, wow, I'm sorry. I'm trash. This took wayyyy longer than I intended it to. As a result, I kind of glossed over Christmas, so that is another thing that I would expand on if/when I return to write more missing moments, or anything else in this verse. So anyways, hope you enjoy this final chapter and forgive how late it is!

"I really do not see a difference in any of these colors," Nick said, shaking his head as he looked down at the paint chips that were laying on the floor between him and Jeff.

"Then I am pretty sure you are literally colorblind," Jeff replied, shaking his head as he looked down at them. "These are absolutely three distinctly different colors." He pointed to each of them as he explained: "See how this one is slightly more green than the other two? That's mint. Then there's the one that's more of a sky blue, then lastly we've got this one which is kind of in between. Tiffany blue."

"Blue," Nick said with a small nod. "Blue, and blue."

Earlier in the day, Jeff had gone to the Home Depot and picked up what was probably in the neighborhood of a hundred or so paint chips which were now spread out on the floor. They were now looking through them in hopes of nailing down what they wanted their wedding colors to be.

"Okay. Fine. They're all blue to you, you poor, legitimately colorblind soul," Jeff said with a soft laugh, looking down at them again. "Do any of these apparently exactly the same shades of blue feel more appealing than any others?"

Nick laughed softly, shrugging. "I'm not going to lie to you, I really don't even know," he said. "Maybe the one on the left."

"My left or your left?" he asked with a laugh.

"Oh," he said, chuckling as he looked back down at the chips. "My left."

Jeff nodded. "Mint," he said. "I was kind of thinking the same, even though mint is very in right now so basically everyone is using it."

"I'm not sure that that's a real thing," Nick said, shaking his head.

"Look, beautiful, I am perfectly willing to love you in spite of your apparent disability—"

"I'm not sure that color blindness is a disability."

"It is a lack of ability to discern color," Jeff said with a small shrug. "Anyways, sunshine, I am perfectly willing to accept that maybe you can't see colors the same as most people can. But what I am not willing to accept is you completely denying the existence of trends. You have a sister. We have been spending plenty of time with said sister, look in her closet and I promise we will find lots of mint."

"And probably a thing or two we would have rather not seen," he said with a soft laugh.

"God, stop," Jeff said with a soft laugh, shaking his head but leaning forward to give him a quick kiss anyways. "But really, let's be honest. She'd probably put any unmentionable items in her nightstand or somewhere in her dresser."

"We so shouldn't be talking about this or even thinking about it."

"You're the one who brought it up," Jeff said with a laugh, grinning at him before grabbing the two bluer cards and putting them aside. He started taking some of the other colors and putting them up beside the mint one, humming to himself in approval or shaking his head slightly. Nick wasn't exactly sure what the process Jeff was going through in his head was, but there was something undeniably adorable about it.

"Hey," he said softly.

Jeff startled slightly, chuckling in embarrassment when he realized what he'd just done. "Yeah?"

Nick just smiled at him, reaching out and covering his hand with his own. "How long have you been planning your wedding?"

"Honestly?" Jeff asked with a soft laugh, shaking his head slightly to himself. "A... A really long time. Is that weird?"

"No," Nick said, shaking his head. "It's... It's really sweet. What I think is maybe more weird is that for me... I never really thought much at all about what my wedding specifically would be like. Mostly, instead, I just... I thought about the person I would be marrying."

"Did you ever picture someone like me?" Jeff asked with a soft laugh, winking at him.

"Do you mean someone like you, or do you mean a guy?" he asked, chuckling.

"I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I mean," he said and flashed him a bright grin. "I mean, I think that it was a given that you were going to end up with someone with a personality like mine."

"Because your personality is startlingly similar to Lacey's and there's something weird and Freudian about me?"

"No," Jeff laughed, shaking his head. "That would be more if, say, I had your mother's personality. No, it's because you, ducky, are so much more of a realist than I am. And without someone like me to keep you dreaming, you'd be one hell of a pessimist. And rightfully so, all things considered."

"You're sweet," he said with a small smile.

"Oh, I know," he said with a grin, then nudged him. "Now, c'mon, you didn't answer the question."

"No, I never imagined marrying a guy," he said, shaking his head. "But I think I like how things turned out way better than if I had just... stayed the course and bound myself to the first willing girl."

"Yeah, I tell you what, I'm really glad you didn't do that, too," Jeff said with a grin. He glanced down at the paint chips and shoved them out of the way, then gestured for Nick to roll over. "I'm going ahead and tentatively saying mint and white, but that's not set in stone. But it's got plenty of possibilities."

"Okay," Nick said with a smile. "Whatever you say."

Jeff laughed softly and nodded as he moved to lay on top of Nick, looking down at him. "You're going to start to understand weddings and have real opinions about these things by the time I'm done with you," he said. "If it's the last thing I do."

"If it does turn out to be the last thing you do, at least promise me that you'll marry me before you die," he said.

"I don't know if that'll be possible," he said, chuckling and reaching for Nick's hands to interlace their fingers.

"Well, then, it better not be the last thing you do," Nick chuckled, leaning down and kissing him.

"That all depends on you," Jeff replied with a soft laugh, mussing Nick's hair with a grin.

"Alright, alright," he said. "Though, you have to admit, I did already express an opinion. I liked that blue more than the other blues."

"Nice try, ducky, but mint is barely even blue. I love you, but no," he said, chuckling softly.

"It was an opinion nonetheless," he said.

"And getting it out of you was like pulling teeth."

"If pulling teeth is that easy for you, maybe you missed your calling as a dentist," he said with a grin.

"Ugh, no," he groaned, dropping his head to press his face against Nick's chest. "No. You know how I feel about dentistry and also blood."

"I do, I do," he chuckled, running his fingers through Jeff's hair.

"However," Jeff said, turning his head so that his cheek was rested against Nick's chest and he was looking up at him, "That's a great idea for Halloween next year."

"You going as a dentist?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, silly," he said. "I'll be the elf who wants to be a dentist from Rudolph. Hermey."

"Wait... was his name really Hermey?" he asked. "That doesn't sound right."

"His name is totally Hermey," he affirmed, nodding. "We can watch the movie if you don't believe me. Anyways, point is, it's perfect. I've got literally the perfect hair for it. And it'll give us a totally reasonable excuse to get an extra month of Christmas ahead of Thanksgiving."

"Okay, I guess I can accept that," Nick said with a soft laugh. "So, I'm guessing that this plan makes me Rudolph?"

"Probably," he said. Shrugging, he added, "Or, if you bulk up a bit, you could be Yukon Cornelius."

"Is this you saying that you want me to bulk up?" Nick asked with a laugh.

"No, you're perfect the way you are," he said with a laugh, kissing his chin. "You would actually be kind of freaky looking if you were shaped like Yukon Cornelius."

"Would you still love me if I looked like Yukon Cornelius?"

Jeff laughed and then paused for a moment, looking like he was having to put serious thought into it. "Yeah, no, I'm sorry, no can do," he said, shaking his head.

"Wow, cold," he said with a soft laugh. "Should we get a prenup? You know, should I ever end up looking like a stop motion character from, like, it's got to be like fifty years old."

"Something like that," Jeff said with a soft laugh, rolling his eyes. Giving Nick's hand a squeeze, he added softly, "On a more serious note, though, no prenup. I've got faith in us."

"I do, too," Nick said, giving him a smile.

"Good," he said. "And of course, point of clarification, either way you're not allowed to turn into Yukon Cornelius."

"Why am I not allowed to have any fun?" he asked with a soft laugh.

"Maybe when your definition of fun stops being really weird shit," he said with a soft laugh. "But hey, if you want, you can put some qualifier on your love for me."

"Like, say, I no longer have to love you if you start wearing socks with sandals?"

"Sure," he said with a laugh. "But I think that you could do a whole lot better."

This led into a long conversation about what would or would not warrant withholding love involving plenty of contorting their bodies and asking, "Would you still love me if...?"

Eventually the evening turned into night and neither of them felt like moving, so they fell asleep just like that: laying on Nick's bedroom floor with no blankets or cushions, just a small mountain of paint chips and Jeff using Nick as a bed.

They flew out to California about a week and a half before Christmas, giving them plenty of time to get settled and for Nick to get to know his future in-laws.

"Is it dumb that I'm nervous?" Nick asked him with a soft laugh as they sat on the plane, their hands laced together between them.

"Not at all," Jeff said, kissing his cheek. "It's actually really cute and sweet."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said. "Like, you care that much. I mean, you were just as nervous when you were introducing me to your family. It's nice."

"I just want to be sure everything is going to work out," he said.

"It will," Jeff affirmed with a nod, squeezing his hand. "I promise. Birdy likes everyone, especially if I like them first. She'll love you. And my mom has been dying for me to find someone to love for the longest time, if for no other reason than she wants me to have something to take seriously."

"You take plenty of things seriously," he said.

"Mostly you," he said, kissing his cheek. "Anyways, she'll be totally charmed by you. Guarantee it. The only person who might seem kind of like he doesn't love you right off the bat is my dad. But I promise, Nick, he's a huge teddy bear and he'll love you anyways. He just won't like the idea of having to face the fact that his children are getting older and falling in love and getting married."

"Noted," he said, letting out a soft chuckle that was almost mostly not nerves. "I'll try and make a good impression."

"You're not going to have to try," Jeff said, smiling at him.

"Okay," he said with a small nod, letting out a soft breath.

"Now, sleep. You didn't sleep right last night and you're going to regret that," he said, lifting his hand to nudge Nick so that his head would be against his shoulder. Nick protested softly but he just shook his head and shushed him, repeating, "Sleep."

The Sterling household felt every bit like the kind of place you would expect a person like Jeff to come from. Walking in the front door started up a flurry of activity, but not the kind where it was overwhelming or anything. No, it was more like the way Jeff himself was: the most pleasant, welcoming whirlwind you could imagine.

There were two dogs excitedly barking and whining as they walked in, wet golden retriever noses sniffling excitedly at both Nick and Jeff and their bags. Nick watched Jeff with a smile as the blond sat himself down on the floor to let the dogs get all over him. "Yes, hello Daisy, hello Tucker, I missed you too, yes, oh so much," he said, laughing and grinning and petting every bit of wiggling fur he could touch. He looked up at Nick, gesturing for him to sit down as well. "If I was thinking I would have at least gotten into the living room. But I get kind of immobilized by dog love."

"I see, I see," Nick said with a soft laugh, nodding as he sat down beside him.

"The bigger, kinda reddish one, that's Tucker, he's older," he explained. "And our true little golden here, this is Daisy."

Nick nodded and smiled, chuckling to himself as Daisy tried to lick his face. She turned away and grabbed a tennis ball then came back making a loud whining noise.

"Oh, hush, you," Jeff said with a laugh, reaching over and petting the dog. "She only does this when she has a toy in her mouth. There's no reason for it."

Meeting the dogs first, of course, felt pretty great. Dogs didn't really care what you were like or who you were as long as you pet them. And since Nick was not only petting them but he also brought their owner who had been gone a while back to them, he was feeling like some kind of god among dogs.

But with the loud greeting that Daisy and Tucker were giving them, it was only natural that there would soon be people coming to see what was going on, especially since, Nick reasoned, the Sterlings had to know that they were due about then.

A woman with short blond hair and a warm smile appeared in the doorway, taking in the sight of them. She cleared her throat, making Jeff's head snap up.

"Mom! Hey," he said with a grin, quickly standing back up and nudging the dogs so that he could go over and hug her. He stood several inches taller than her, having to bend down slightly in order to give her a lingering hug. When he pulled back, he turned and gestured towards Nick. "As you've probably figured out, this would be Nick. And Nick, this is my mom."

"Nick," she repeated, moving towards him and holding out a hand to shake. "You can call me Kelly."

"It's nice to meet you," he said, shaking her hand only to be pulled into a hug.

"You too," she said, giving him a smile that made his eyes dart towards Jeff; there was absolutely no question where Jeff's contagious, trust-inducing smile came from, seeing this woman standing before him. "It's nice to actually be able to put a face to the name we've been hearing so much about."

"You've heard a lot about me?" Nick asked before he could really stop himself; it was cliché and whether or not it was even true, that was what parents meeting the significant other always had to say. It was just kind of surprising to him, since Jeff had never seemed to be on his phone or anything that much while they were back east.

"Any time we talked to Jeff, it seems like you were all he could talk about," she said with a laugh. "Now, c'mon, let's get you in the living room, sit on down. Are you guys hungry? Need anything to drink?" She ushered them into the living room, then went to another doorway that was presumably the kitchen.

"No, I'm alright, thanks," Nick said with a smile, shaking his head.

"He'll have a diet Coke, actually, he needs some energy," Jeff said, grinning at him. "And one for me as well, please."

"Of course," she said, disappearing into the kitchen and coming back with two soda bottles and handing them to them before sitting down herself. Looking at Jeff, she explained, "Bridgett has been hyperactive all day knowing you were coming back today, so your dad took her out somewhere. I told them to be back…" She trailed off for a moment, glancing at the clock on the wall, "about twenty minutes ago. So, any time now."

Jeff laughed softly, nodding. "Sounds about right," he said.

"Though I'm surprised she let him lose track of time like that, seeing as how she's been dying to see you again," she said.

Nick smiled softly as he listened to the two of them chat for a bit, catching up on what their neighbors and other family friends and acquaintances had been up to while he was away. His mind started to wander, given all of the entirely unfamiliar names, and he looked around the room. He wasn't sure what exactly he had been expecting out of the house where Jeff had grown up, but he figured that this was about right. There were lots of windows with curtains pulled back to keep the house bright with natural light, family photos both posed and candid hanging on the walls, dog toys strewn about on the floor, overall feeling just the right side of messy. He found himself thinking about a younger Jeff growing up here, sitting on this floor and playing with a much younger Tucker, or maybe even a dog before Tucker was around.

He was jolted from his daydream by the sound of the dogs getting up again in excitement as a door opened somewhere deeper in the house. He could hear a young girl's voice chattering excitedly, and the sound was quickly followed by the sight of the eight-year-old he knew from pictures rushing into the room and into Jeff's arms.

"Jeffy!" she cried out as she hugged him tightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Birdy," he said, hugging her back and rubbing her shoulder blades. Nick watched them for a moment, smiling softly, knowing how much Jeff had missed his little sister.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that while he was watching them, he himself was being watched by a man that logic told him had to be Jeff's father. He was certainly an imposing figure, his height making how Jeff had towered over his mother look like nothing. There was something kind of hardened about his face, though Nick wasn't sure what exactly it was.

He looked back at Jeff and Bridgett, watching her eventually pull back and turn her attention to Nick. "Hi," she said, sliding off of Jeff's lap to sit in between them. "I'm Bridgett. And you're Nick, right? Jeff's prince?"

Nick couldn't help himself but to grin at that. "Yeah," he said with a nod.

"You're just as handsome as I imagined you," she informed him.

Beyond her, Jeff was blushing as much as Nick was sure he himself was.

Letting himself laugh it off, Nick nodded. "Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome," she said. She reached over towards him, pointing at his left hand. "Can I see the ring?"

Nick let out a soft laugh, nodding and picking up his hand and holding it out for her to look at.

She certainly wasn't shy about it, taking his hand in hers and turning it a bit so that she could look at the ring from as many angles as she could. She glanced up at him before looking back at Jeff and nodding in what was apparently approval. "It's pretty. Nice and sparkly."

"Thanks," Jeff said with a soft laugh, smiling at her. "If I'd been around here, you know I would have gotten your input before buying any ring."

"That's okay," she said. "It looks like you got by okay anyways."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jeff's father's face had now broken out into a smile, and suddenly it was a lot easier to see how the man fit into the family. Sure, he was definitely still the somewhat intimidating sight that Nick had first seen, but how tickled he was and the clear affection he had for his daughter made his face light up a lot like Jeff's.

Seeing that he had been spotted, the man moved towards them. He offered a hand to Nick to shake, saying, "Scott Sterling."

"Nick Duval," he said in reply, giving the man a smile that he hoped looked confident as he shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," he said with a small nod. His voice was a bit surprising; there was a definite southern twang to it, something that Nick certainly hadn't expected out of the man. If anyone in the family looked like they might have been an implant from somewhere in the south, he would have had to guess that it would be Kelly. And even though Jeff had said in the past that his parents were totally on board with him being gay (living in San Francisco, he figured, you kind of had to be), knowing what he did about the typical southern man, Nick felt an added twinge of nervousness. "I'm looking forward to getting to know the man my son is going to marry."

"Remember, that means Nick is going to be your son, too," Kelly chimed in helpfully, shooting him a grin that helped Nick to relax a bit more.

"Right," Jeff's father said with a soft laugh, rolling his eyes but with genuine fondness. "We'll get there."

Nick looked over at Jeff at about the same time that Scott turned to him to greet him as well, though of course with a hug and a pat on the back in place of a handshake, seeing the happiness on his face at the fact that his family was acknowledging the fact that Nick was more than just a boyfriend.

After a bit of friendly chatting about how their travelling had been and what they deemed important things for Jeff to show Nick around the city while they were there, Bridgett got bored and demanded that she be excused along with both Nick and Jeff. She brought them up to her room where they cycled through several games including Uno, Jenga, and Apples to Apples (a game which was notably best played with at least four players).

About a week into his stay in California, Nick reached one hard and fast conclusion: the Sterlings were exhausting. Were they genuinely kind and likable people? Absolutely. But that did not mean that they weren't also a lot to take in. They had very nearly packed up and gone camping until they remembered that it was in fact December and it was still cold out at night even if it was significantly warmer out west than it was back in Pennsylvania. There were plenty of things like that that showed how clearly they were Jeff's family, and showed how it was definitely a good thing that Jeff was willing to let himself be grounded.

Being a wonderful boyfriend and knowing when Nick was feeling a bit overwhelmed, Jeff offered to take him out to spend a day out of the house. They drove around mostly aimlessly, checking out some sites and Jeff pointing out a few places that were more notable to him.

(Bridgett had initially wanted to come along with them and Nick was almost willing to agree to it if for no other reason than to see more of Jeff being absolutely adorable with his kid sister, but Jeff had told her that 1) they needed some "fiancé alone time" and 2) they needed to shop for Christmas and she didn't want to ruin the surprise, did she?)

Which is how Nick found himself sitting in the parking lot of the tattoo parlor where Jeff had gotten the elephant on his ankle.

"You really don't have to do this," Jeff said, shaking his head and leaning over to try and look at the pictures that Nick was looking at on his phone.

"I want to," he said, shaking his head.

"You're not the impulsive one," he said. "I am. Remember?"

Nick just shook his head again, chuckling softly. "I know that it probably looks like it is, but it's not an impulse. I've actually been thinking about this for a while," he said.

"You don't need to have a representation of your love for me on your body, I mean, you've got a ring on your finger that does the job fine," Jeff said.

"I know," he said, chuckling softly as he glanced down at his engagement ring. "But this is different."

Jeff still looked a bit like he was unconvinced but he nodded anyways. "What were you thinking about getting, anyways?"

"Okay, this is going to sound totally weird and cheesy," he said with a soft laugh, shaking his head. "But… You know how the first time you proposed to me—"

"Not off to a strong start," Jeff cut in with a wink, but gestured for him to go on.

"The first time you proposed to me," he repeated, rolling his eyes fondly, "you talked about penguins, and their cute mating rituals."

"Gonna get a pebble tattooed on your body?" he asked. "Might I recommend a face pebble?"

"You are literally the meanest person I have ever met," Nick said with a pout. "I can't believe I'm marrying you."

"You love me," Jeff said with a smile. He reached over and took Nick's hand, squeezing it as he asked more seriously, "But really, go on. Tell me about your idea."

"I was just kind of thinking that maybe getting a penguin on my arm would be nice? You know, like… You said you wanted to be penguins with me and that… It sounds really weird saying it out loud, but that kind of resonated with me."

"I think that was the goal," he said with a soft laugh. "You know, being that I was saying it to you with the goal of you agreeing to marry me."

"Okay, you do have a point there," Nick chuckled, leaning over and kissing him softly. "But the point is, I wanted something that would mean something to me about our relationship."

"Okay," he said, nodding and playing idly with Nick's fingers as he hummed in thought. "I like the idea. But… I don't know. I'm not sure that I'm sold on the idea of you having a penguin on your arm forever, you know?"

"Is it really that bad?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, penguins are cute as hell. And look, people have gotten penguin tattoos that look pretty good."

"That doesn't really mean a whole lot to me," Jeff said with a soft laugh, looking down at the phone that was handed to him. "I mean, I'm not saying that you can't get the penguin or that it wouldn't look good, but… It's not the only thing that means something to us."

"I'll think about it some more," Nick said with a small nod.

"No matter what you decide, penguin or no penguin, tattoo or not tattoo, I'll be right there beside you. I just… I don't want you to get something and then regret it."

"Thank you," he said softly, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

The idea to get a tattoo mostly went away, at least until Christmas.

(Christmas, as it seemed to go nowadays, was another one that came and went without much to it. Late at night on Christmas Eve, Jeff whispered to Nick in the dark about how much he missed how magical Christmas had been when he was a kid, and he had been just so sure that having his first holiday season with his fiancé would bring back that magic, but it didn't feel like it had. Nick swore to himself right then and there that he would make every Christmas from there on out as special as he could for him.)

One of the gifts that Jeff received was a book of poetry from various poets. After all the gifts were unwrapped and Scott was taking a nap and Kelly was already busy at work making dinner (and refusing help) and Bridgett was off playing with her toys, Nick and Jeff curled up together and Jeff read to him from it.

Nick is practically falling asleep with the soothing sound of Jeff's voice in his ear, a smile resting on his lips. "There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out, but I'm too clever," he was reading softly. "I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep."

When he was finished reading it, Nick turned his head to look up at him. "I liked that one," he said.

"Yeah?" Jeff asked. "It was Charles Bukowski."

"Never heard of him," he said.

"He's one of my favorite poets," he said with a small smile, kissing his cheek.

Nick smiled up at him, nudging him. "Hey. Read it again."

And so he did, and this time Nick paid more attention to all of it. When it was over again, he looked back up at Jeff. "That's it."

"What's what?" Jeff asked, furrowing his brow.

"My tattoo," he said. "That poem. Or, I mean, something from it."

"You're doing the rushing into it thing again."

"No, I've been thinking about the idea of a tattoo in general for a while," he said, nudging him. "And you know what? That poem. I like it."

"I like it, too," Jeff said with a small nod, shrugging slightly.

"Exactly," he said. "One of your favorite poets, the first poem you read for me by him, a really great metaphor… It's perfect."

"I mean… Hm. Yeah. I guess I like it," he said with a small nod. "So… I guess the question becomes, what are you thinking about in terms of what you'll literally have on your skin?"

"I'm not really sure," he said with a small shrug. "Like, part of me likes the idea of getting a line from it tattooed, but maybe a picture of a bluebird?"

"Both are good options," Jeff said, nodding. He grabbed his phone and started typing, then turned it around to show Nick. On the screen was a Google search of other people who had also gotten tattoos from the same poem. For a moment the sheer number of results that had popped up made him want to reconsider the idea, but he reminded himself that it didn't matter how many other people had a similar tattoo as long as he liked it.

"Most of these are girls," he commented with a soft chuckle. "In places I can't pull off."

"You totally could pull any of these off," Jeff said with a small shrug, taking the phone back for a moment so that he could look for a moment. "And the reason that it's mostly girls is because, as a whole, girls get tattoos of poems more. Guys get, like, I don't know. Sports teams and tribal tattoos and tributes to dead friends and family. Not that that's a problem, just, you know, girls are typically more artsy and I like that more."

"So what you're saying is that you like me because I'm kind of like a girl?" he teased.

"Says the guy who was apparently totally straight until he just so happened to fall in love with a man," he said with a laugh, nudging him. "But anyways, no, I like you because you've got a really cool soul."

"That was quite possibly the least poetic way you could have phrased that," he said, chuckling.

"I try sometimes, but this time I didn't," he grinned. "You've got a cool soul, and I stand by that."

Nick nodded, rolling his eyes fondly. "You're the best."

"Oh, I know," he said. "But anyways, tattoo."

"Right, tattoo," he said with a small nod. "So, you have a tattoo already, so, any sage advice?"

"Mm, I don't know," Jeff said with a soft laugh. "I mean, obviously you want it somewhere that you can cover up. So nothing on the face, alright?"

"Damn," he said, snapping. "I was really hoping to get something on my face. It would make me look dangerous."

"Honey, you couldn't look dangerous if you were actively harming people," he said. "And not just because you're kind of squeamish."

"Not as squeamish as you," he said.

Jeff chuckled, shaking his head. "We're not talking about me," he said. "Besides, I've gone camping and survived, and you haven't. So. I totally win."

"I'm not even going to start on how wrong you are," he said. "But anyways, not the face."

"Right, yeah, no face tattooing. And obviously, anywhere that is less fleshy is going to be more painful. So, you know, my squeamish fiancé, I might recommend not getting a foot tattoo."

"You're squashing all of my dreams, one by one," Nick said with a soft laugh.

"There are plenty of places that you could still get inked that would be pretty cool," he said with a shrug. He pushed Nick to lay on his back, hovering over him and looking down at him. "Like…" He leaned down, starting to press kisses over Nick's skin, his shoulder, his arm, his chest, his hips, working down his body and nudging fabric out of the way where he needed to.

Nick felt goosebumps popping up over his skin at the feather light presses of lip to skin, smiling back at Jeff when he sat back up.

"See?" he said with a grin. "Plenty of places."

"But," Nick said, grinning back at him and reaching for his arm to pull him down. "There are also so many places on my body that I shouldn't tattoo that feel neglected now, and we can talk about this more later."

Jeff laughed softly, rolling his eyes fondly. "Okay," he said as he leaned down to kiss him. "But remember the rule."

"I know, I know. No sex with your kid sister on the other side of the wall. But we went a long time without having sex and were just as gratified," he said.

"Too true," he said, chuckling softly. "I'll give you that."

"Mhm, I know," he said, leaning up and kissing him again.

"I made you an appointment," Jeff said a few mornings later as the two of them sat on the porch drinking coffee and watching cars go by. Tucker was laying on the ground in front of them, while Daisy had pushed her way up onto Jeff's lap, never having got the memo that she was a golden retriever and hence not a lap dog.

"What?" Nick asked, looking up from his coffee – served in a mug that said 'good morning, gorgeous' on the side, part of his Christmas gift from Jeff.

"At the tattoo parlour," he said. "Normally they're kind of booked up, but the owner and I are kind of friends, so—"

"Wait," Nick said with a laugh. "The other day when we were actually there, they were probably full. You were counting on me not going through with it. Weren't you?"

"In all fairness, I probably could have gotten you in anyways, like I said, friends with the owner. It's just much more polite to schedule yourself in instead," he said, shrugging. "But okay, yes, I knew you weren't going to do it. But it's not like that's a bad thing, I mean, I know that you're more of a planner than I am and I knew that if you rushed into anything you'd regret it later."

Nick couldn't really bring himself to fight that one. "Mm, I guess you're right," he said.

"Of course I am," he said with a grin. "I know you better than you know yourself."

"That might be a stretch," he said, shaking his head.

"Totally not a stretch," he said. "I know every last fiber of your being. And okay, sure, maybe I don't know exact details about a lot of things in your past but if you ask me, that's less important in knowing who you are. Complete and utter fact, I know you better than you know yourself."

"It's too early to get this deep," Nick said with a soft laugh, dropping his head to lay on Jeff's shoulder.

"Just keeping it real," he said, reaching down and petting Daisy's head. "Anyways, we're going over at noon. I told Paul about what you were looking at doing."

"Paul?" he repeated. "That doesn't sound very… tattoo-y."

"I guess," he said with a shrug. "But he's really good at what he does, so I'm not too worried about what his name is."

"Alright," he said with a soft laugh, nodding. "I trust you. We'll go see Paul the tattoo guy."

Part of him wasn't really convinced that he was going to get a tattoo that day. Maybe, you know, it would be like a consultation sort of thing where they talked logistics and pricing and everything. That was a thing that happened, wasn't it?

Though Nick never would have said it out loud to Jeff, he was second guessing his decision over and over until it was actually happening. And here he was, sitting there watching a man named Paul (who, in addition to having a name that sounded wrong for his profession, also looked nothing like the typical picture of an artist of any kind; the closest comparison Nick could make would be something like a more competent Garry/Jerry/Larry from Parks and Recreation) put a bird on his leg.

He had decided to get the bluebird as well as the line "there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out" above it (though Jeff had told him to start with whatever part he wanted more in case the pain was too much for him, as well as saying that they could come back and do this in as many parts as necessary if Nick needed breaks) in a similar location to where Jeff had his own tattoo on his midcalf, partially because of the convenience of being able to hide it easier there.

Speaking of the pain, though, it wasn't that bad. He had imagined it hurting a lot more than it actually did, though it might help that Jeff was keeping him distracted playing with his hand and chattering away happily.

"It's almost New Year's Eve," he was saying, glancing down every now and again to see the progress being made.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "Got big plans?"

"I guess you could say plans," he said with a shrug. "I mean, I don't know that I'd call them big plans."

"Average size plans, then?" he asked with a soft chuckle.

"That sounds about right," Jeff said, nodding.

Nick looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "No hints?" he asked.

"Nope," he said. "Or, well, okay. Just to be clear, we're not, like, going to a huge party or a rave or something like that. I mean, unless you really want to. I could find something, I mean, I know people who are into that scene so I could—"

"Let him decide if he wants to or not, Jeffers," Paul inserted with a fond shake of his head, glancing up at them for a second. "Rambling."

"Right, yeah, my bad," he said, chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm pretty impressed that you've found someone who is willing to put up with your endless ability to ramble."

Before Jeff could say anything, Nick said with a smile, "I think that it's pretty cute."

Jeff smiled at him, bringing his hand up to give it a quick kiss.

"But anyways, yeah, no, I'm not too huge on partying, so I don't mind," he said.

"Alright, great," he said. "Because I do think that you'll really like what I have in mind."

"Here's to hoping," he teased, giving him a smile.

"Have I ever lead you astray thus far?" Jeff said with a grin.

"Mm, not really," he said.

They managed to get through the tattoo in one sitting with the help of several breaks and lighthearted chatter all the way through, making Nick lose track of how long exactly the process took. At the end of it he looked down at the tattoo all wrapped up in cling wrap, nodding in approval.

"I like it," he said, glancing back up to look at Jeff and then Paul. "Thank you."

"No problem," he said with a nod. "And hey, you did a whole lot better than your boyfriend did. Cried the whole time."

"Did you now?" he asked with a grin as he turned to look at Jeff.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that," he chuckled. "Now come on, I'm hungry, let's go get some food."

"Don't think you're getting off the hook that easy," he said with a laugh.

"Oh, I know, but I hope that I can distract you long enough that you might forget," he said.

"Never."

A couple days later brought New Year's Eve and, finally, the reveal as to what it was that Jeff had planned. All that Nick knew was that as they went out to the car to leave for wherever they were going to be ringing in the new year, Jeff pulled a blanket out of a closet and tossed it in the back seat. It was a hint, sure, but at the same time it absolutely wasn't. There were plenty of things that could require a blanket. Would they be sitting in the back seat? Would they be laying the blanket down somewhere? The presence of the blanket, he decided, raised as many questions as it answered.

Jeff drove for a while, all the while completely ignoring any of Nick's attempts to ask what it was that they were doing.

"You know, this is kind of reminiscent of earlier on in this whole mess when you decided it would be a great idea to just drive across the country," Nick said.

"And it was," he said with a grin. "Tell me you didn't have a blast."

"We committed grand theft goat."

"I repeat, Nick, tell me you didn't have a blast."

"Okay, fine, I had lots of fun," he said, rolling his eyes fondly at him.

"Yeah, I know you did," he chuckled. "Which is why I don't see why you should be worried."

"I'm not worried, I'm just curious," Nick said.

"Embrace the inherent chaos of the universe, my love," he said with a grin. "No one is sure what is going to happen next, but at least in this case you know that it can't be that bad."

"That got dark," he chuckled.

"Such is life," he said. "And also, besides, we're almost there. Like, if you were to launch into a speech about why you so deserve to know what we're doing, you would probably be interrupted by what we are doing."

"Alright," he said with a sigh, resigning himself to silence until they got where they were going.

Jeff slightly exaggerated how close they were (or overestimated how much of a speech Nick would be willing to give), though it couldn't have been longer than fifteen minutes or so until Jeff stopped the car and parked. "So anyways, I've been coming here for New Year's for a few years now," he said as they got out of the car, going around Last year I brought some friends, they got drunk and the next day was pretty terrible. So we're playing it safe now. No alcohol. No friends. Just my fiancé."

"Though, meeting your friends eventually would probably be a good thing," he said, nudging him with his elbow.

"Sure, sure," he said with a small nod, busying himself with pulling the jackets that they had tossed back there at some point out and handing one of them to Nick. "At some point. We'll get there."

There was something a little bit off about his answer, something weirdly uneasy about it, and based on what Nick already knew about Jeff's friends (which wasn't a whole lot aside from what he had just said moments ago, which also spoke volumes, Nick figured), he could make some leaps, and he wasn't going to push it.

Nick followed after Jeff as he walked, leading them out onto a beach. It was dark out and quiet except for the crashing of the waves on the shore. There were a few people around, but it was empty enough around them that nobody had to really pay each other much mind.

"In the middle of the summer, and especially during the day, of course, this place would be so full of people it wouldn't even be fun," Jeff said, looking around as he walked and eventually picking a place to lay the blanket out. "But now it's pretty cold out."

"I'm pretty sure it's still in, like, the fifties," he chuckled.

"It's California, we don't exactly get blizzards," he chuckled. "So you can take your Pennsylvania winter smugness and get outta here."

Nick laughed softly, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "I'm just saying."

"And I am, too," he said. "This is how it is. And I'm going to guarantee you're going to put that jacket on. Especially with the sea breeze, you know, makes it a bit chillier."

"Still above freezing," he grinned.

"Oh, shut up, you," he chuckled, sitting down on the blanket and grabbing Nick's arm to pull him down with him. He shifted so that Nick could sit between his legs with his back rested against his chest. "I'm perfectly aware of the temperature."

"Just checking," Nick said with a smile, turning his head back to press a kiss to Jeff's lips.

They sat there in silence for a while, Jeff's hands idly playing with Nick's as they watched the waves crashing against the shore. Jeff nuzzled gently at his neck, occasionally pressing a few soft kisses to his skin.

The night crept on with just a bit of small talk between them, leaving Nick room to think about the year he'd had. Everything about where he was now and what he was doing was completely different from a year ago, and he was fairly certain that he had never been happier because of it. With Jeff, everything was absolutely right in a way that he would never be able to put words to, a way that he couldn't believe he had confused what he had felt for Natalie to be.

But beyond just being with Jeff – though he would be lying if he tried to say that their friendship and subsequent relationship played anything but a huge role in shaping his current life – everything was better. It wasn't like he had been doing badly at college; no, the fall semester had been fine and he had had grades that were just fine, but it was… Too soon for him, he figured. He knew of a few people that had taken gap years and he had heard their justifications for it (hell, apparently studies even showed that people who took gap years were just as successful, if not more so, than those who had gone straight out of high school to college) and he figured that maybe that was the right thing for him to do. Sure, he was taking a bit longer off than lots of people, but he was just trying to get his life figured out, and when he did, he would still have those credit hours from before.

But that was always where the train of thought ended. He had spent plenty of time now living in a state of transition; he had no idea what was coming next and he hadn't for a while now. And he was okay with that, except that there was this big huge stop sign in his way whenever he tried to figure out what came next. He was a planner, after all, and well… All he really knew was that whatever came next, he wanted, needed for Jeff to be a part of it. Was Jeff ever going to want to go to college? Where were they going to live? They were somewhat planning a wedding, but when was that even going to be, and where, and how were they going to get both their families together?

He turned to look at Jeff, and again the quiet voice in the back of his mind wondered if Jeff had any of the same thoughts. "What're you thinking about?" he asked softly.

"New Year's resolutions," Jeff answered. "Obviously."

"Yeah?" he asked, giving him a small smile though part of him had kind of been hoping illogically that some sort of telepathic connection had been made and Jeff was thinking about their future, too. "What are they?"

"I think I've got three," he said. "One, get my fiancé to eat healthier."

"Hey!" he protested, chuckling. "I eat perfectly well, thank you. And aren't New Year's resolutions supposed to be, you know, about yourself?"

"Yeah, they are. But I already eat well, and guess what, I'm making an investment with you. I gotta make sure it pays off," he chuckled.

Nick rolled his eyes fondly, but nodded. "Okay," he said. "What are the other two?"

"The second one is… Okay, actually, you know what, I don't know if these, like, count as resolutions. But they are things that I want to make sure happen in the next year."

"Then I'd say that that counts," he chuckled.

"Okay, cool," he said. "So, the second one is, of course, to marry the love of my life."

"That's a good one," he said with a smile, unable to help himself but to give him a kiss.

"Summer or fall," he said. "No later. Gotta pin your last name onto mine and start getting benefits from loving you."

"You already benefit from loving me, god," he chuckled.

"Government benefits, you ass," he said with a laugh, squeezing him. "I'm just so excited to file my taxes jointly with you."

"Oh my god," he replied through a laugh, shaking his head. "That's what you're going for? Taxes?"

"Duh," he said. "That shit's important. And less dark than, you know, the whole medical decisions thing. And I think it's slightly sexier than insurance."

"I think insurance is totally sexier than taxes," he said.

"I'm just going to let you sit there and be wrong," Jeff chuckled.

"Alright, fine," he said with a smile. "Moving on, what's the third thing?"

"Move in with you," he said. "Like, for real. We are going to find a place and make it ours and we're going to live there and get jobs and whatever. Like a real couple."

Nick couldn't help how his smile grew at that, even though he knew that it was a logical thing to think.

"I was thinking maybe Chicago or something," he went on.

"Chicago?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Chicago," he said. "It's... I know it sounds kind of weird. But the thing is, if we live anywhere on the west, it'll be unfair to you, and vice versa if we were to live in the east—"

"I don't care about fair, Jeff, it's not a big deal if we're closer to your family or mine."

"I know that it's not, but it still… If we live more centrally located, yes, we will have to make more of an effort to see both of our families, but less than it would be to go to the one on the other side of the country. Besides, you have been the most amazing adventure of my life, and moving to a big city and taking it on with you... That would be a pretty big adventure, right?"

"You've got a point there," Nick said with a small nod.

"Obviously we don't have to make the decision right here and now, it's just… Something to think about," he said, giving him a smile.

"Okay," he said with a nod.

"So, what about you?" he asked, nudging him lightly. "Got any resolutions of you own?"

"I think I like yours pretty well," he chuckled. "But I don't know, really. I only made one last year, and that didn't turn out so great."

"Everyone gives up on the weight loss resolution, don't feel bad," he chuckled.

"Ha ha. But really, it was about Natalie," he said.

"Ah," Jeff said, nodding slowly though there was a flicker of something across his face that Nick couldn't really place. Part of him wanted to call it jealously, though Jeff was the most laid back person he had ever met, besides the fact that Jeff had absolutely no reason to be jealous. Either way, it was kind of cute. "But hey, you're a year older and a year wiser. Also a year gayer. God bless."

"How do you measure gayness in years?" he chuckled.

"I don't know, but I just did," he said with a laugh, kissing his cheek.

Nick just rolled his eyes fondly, kissing his cheek. "You're dumb."

"But you love me."

"I do, I do."

The countdown started not much later, some people on the beach getting to their feet and hooting and hollering as they counted down to the new year. When they reached zero Jeff grabbed Nick's shoulders to turn him around, giving him a slow kiss. "Happy New Year, Nick," he said softly.

"Happy New Year, Jeff," he said back, kissing him again softly.

Across the skyline there were fireworks going off, and they both looked up to take in the sight. With Jeff beside him humming Auld Lang Syne, Nick was fairly sure that he had never felt so completely right before in his life. If this year had been good to him, he was promising now that every year after would be even better.