Will this ever be updated? Love it. :)

Wow you have a pretty good way with words.

awesome story up date soon please

If there's something I love more than Momomi, it's crack pairings. A match made in heaven here then.

Still, time for a serious review. I'll try to be gentle haha.

Well firstly, the most glaring thing is the lack of scene breaks. I often had to reread the previous paragraph because the action will suddenly jump characters without any distinction, adding a couple lines to split up your paragraphs will make the story that much easier to follow.

Your writing itself is actually rather good and your dialogue is certainly fun to read, Yaya the Womaniser is particulary fun. You do seem to suffer from the same fate as me however, that is, a rather flowery descriptive style. You managed to tone it down as the chapters progress, but sometimes simply describing what is happening is better. You do write some rather powerful imagery, which is best saved for the big scenes.

I also love what you've done with the characters. I love your Yaya, its almost as if she's Shizuma mk2. And given her character, not entirely farfetched either. Kaname's disregard for Momomi I did find rather jarring however, they were planning to become Etoile together remember. Whilst the Momomi x Tamao romance is well done too, I must admit I was puzzled about how you might go about writing such a thing but you've pulled it off so far.

I've gone on long enough I think. I marathoned all eight chapters and genuinely enjoyed them so I do hope you'll continue in future.

Love this story keep it up!

patiently waiting for new chapters no rush good stuff

Well, just take your time, but make sure to continue this as I will with my other stories.

I was expecting you to be poetic, but this is way too good to pass up! :D

Wow, you really improved a lot, I must say, the last chapter was very romantiv and so is this, by the way, how many chapters will this story have?

Good story so far. Pretty interesting to see Momomi and Tamao as a couple. I wonder who Miyuki was embracing near the end of chapter five. Shizuma? Or Shion? ;P Anyway, please update soon. I look forward to what happens next! :)

I reread this chapter and I must say that I really hated you for making Yaya a whore, but it's your decision

I paid a sweet little visit to your profile to tell you that you should relax :D This is a very nice chapter indeed!

nicee

Better than before at least :D

I'll be honest, I never saw any clear chemistry in Chapter 1, but I won't judge too early though. And your grammar is not lame