This was so well done. You sucked me in from the start and I couldn't stop reading...even for dinner, lol! I really enjoyed John's POV at the end.

Intense and sad. Well-written because you feel the disorientation and confusion Dean's going through.

"He's got my cell phone. He'll keep in touch." - Oh, John, you never ANSWER your cell phone. Plus you raised him with-holding your approval from him that he'd NEVER want to show you weakness, and he'd see reaching out to you as weakness so he's not going to do it! You've just cut off your son, and you're lying to yourself to make yourself feel better, so you won't see what you're doing - and what you have done - to him.

I loved EVERY single chapter but this one. THIS one PISSED me the hell off. John just doesn't get the fact that at the farmhouse if he left HELL yeah his son, Dean Winchester, would have taken a gun, knife, hell even cleaning supplies and gone off the deep end realizing he wasn't needed/love/etc etc.

This whole chapter just stated that John doesn't understand how screwed up and codependent his oldest is at that moment.

Idiot...

Well that is my Ranting. I love it, so thank you for posting it.

"I wonder if I could ever drink enough holy water to actually piss on a demon."

this is just hilarious!

That was heartbreaking. Sometimes I just wanna smack John!

was one hard ride through hell.I mean it in a good way (Heh.).I was really hard and frustrating sometimes and I was sitting there,heart jumping like crazy and worrying about Dean and my thoughts very crazy and it was all cruel and dark ( .*lol*) and SO well is a real piece of art, are dozens of metaphors and the characterisations are PERFECT.

Your first A/N in the last chapter?My words.I felt like jumping into my computer and hugging you with no end because DANG it, that are my thoughts of John man gave me headaches in the past. Not as much as Dean but well..enough.

This fic will ever be one of my me.

Kritty

You know, I don't really *hate* John. I just think that he is totally clueless about child-appropriate behaviour. I don't know why Dean seemed to get the worst of it - maybe because Sam is actually the stable, tough and steady one? (or was - I don't know who he will be right now...) And he didn't notice that. Or maybe he did - I'm pretty sure he was damn proud of Sam not just taking everything - as annoying as it may have been at the time.

Because a soldier is fine to have around in a battle, but who really wants his kid to be like a dog?

Poor Dean - and yeah, he IS f**cked up inside, had been from the day Mary burned. Add his life (and afterlife) - and I'm surprised he isn't the psychopath Hendrickson believed him to be. There certainly is the potential.

Anyway, I liked this a lot.

Thank you for sharing it, even though I', not Phoebe. I'm sure she did.

Its amazing that John never realized the relationship between how he raised Dean and "he never had any problems with Dean". Of course he didn't Dean was always afraid that if he didn't do exactly what John expected he would be left alone. Sam never had that fear because he always had Dean.

This has been a terrific story and I'm going to miss seeing updates.

I look foward to reading more of your fics

Dear SR,

Wow. Nice conclusion to this story. I liked the psychological diagnosis/descriptor/mention in both the author notes and in the story.

I have read quite a bit of your work, and you are a very talented writer. I can always count on a solid writing style that seems to move the story along effortlessly.

Thank you once again for sharing your time and talent.

Diane

Ah hon, it was beautiful. And since its my birthday fic, you always had my permission to bash John all you want for all the reasons above. I love John but I don't like him at all. The information on attachment disorder was fascinating. And John ignorning it and denying it, of course.

And of course you tossed some Minnesota and Adam in there just to make sure I stay angry at John for freaking ever. Taking Kate's calls, and not those from Sam and Dean. 'Course those kids are the broken ones. He gets to keep Adam safe and 'normal'. Gr.

Hope it wasn't too hard for you to write. I know you wuv John very much and in reality have a poster of him hanging over your bed. Loved his voice here, as I do whenever you write John.

It was a perfect present. I'm honored!

Phoebe

Well congrats on finishing it. It was a great story. Take care.

Nikki

Congratulations on the story. I love the character of John but he really does not come across as sympathetic here - rather sad that he only spent that important time with Dean because nothing else came up and not because he knew Dean needed him to be there. I sort of prefer chapter 12 as the final chapter, leaving John as that enigmatic unknowable character whose actions relay best what is in him. Having said that, I understand why you wanted his POV, looking at Dean from the outside when we've spent so long on his inside.

Thanks for the read!

Aw, that was absolutely wonderful :D

I enjoyed every angsty minute, and I love how you get into John's head here.

'Normal died the night Mary did.' - I love that line :D

'He can improvise like a mad sonofabitch on hunts, and that scares the hell out of me sometimes.' I love that line even more LOL :D - thanks for the awesome read bud!

Hugs and luv

Mish :D

This whole chapter was so in character for John, sadly. You did one hell of a job reflecting Daddy Winchester's insights about his kids in general and Dean in particular.

When John remembered Ford Douglas and how he got back at his oldest by (more or less) ignoring him for six weeks straight, making "damn sure he lerned his lesson", I wanted to strangle Daddy Winchester! He so should have listened to Pastor Jim trying to remind him that Dean was only 9 years old then, for pitty's sake...

I have no doubt whatsoever about him having only his children's best interest at heart and loving his sons to no end. Yet, as you already mentioned in your author's note, he certainly had a rather poor way of showing it (even under these terrible circumstances), combined with awful parenting skills... *smacks him a good one over the head*

It's just a shame that Daddy Winchester hardly ever realized what he was doing to his boys and putting on their respective shoulders (especially Dean's) - until it was way too late.

"And then sometimes I say “to hell with it”, grab whichever kid is closest and hug the hell out of him." Now, THAT was the true Dad speaking in John for the few times he allowed it after Mary died! *wants to hug John fiercely too*

Very well written and thoughtout piece to fanfiction, Silver.

Lovely wrap up on the story already, Silver.

Counting off the jobs as quickly as you did, really lent the impression of the two Winchesters blurring from hunt to hunt - which is probably exactly what they were doing for those six months.

Believe it or not, I squeed when I read Jerry's name mentioned among the jobs John and Dean took. Talk about coming full-circle. :-D

Yet, in the wake of those months spent together again as a team, it truly must have stung Dean to be left behind once more, even seeing that his Dad didn't "ditch" him in the real sense of the word.